Doggie bag without the dog!

I sometimes wonder if Japan is becoming more Westernized due to more foreigners (evil one's of course) invading Japan or if there is a delay that trickles slowly over time. Over a few years I found a lot of things changed in Japan.

Like Chinese water torture upon someone’s brow (that's the imagery seems nice to start us off, because that's how my story feels like it ended and its still dripping on my head).

I hope its a golden wrapper to the chocolate factory again, but I fear its not!

I recall onetime as a student going with my friend Colin, who incidentally used to tell me I’m an idiot and don’t know anything (semi-true I guess). I met him at Uni in Victoria. He always seemed drunk to me. He did enjoy beer, so many he was (easier to get through class that way I guess). He was from some kinda famous posh private high school in Victoria. You would think he'd be a complete di#k (he was only 50% of the time) but somehow I found him funny, and for whatever reason(s) he hung out with us. Though he did have some "higher end more posh friends" he also hung with.

Once I went to Japan, he was going to a more prestigious University (since I was an idiot I didn’t go to Uni’s as good as him I guess). We met one time in Kyoto after I arrived for food.

We were desperate for food and hanging out with some random foreigners he knew (and they are evil cause they are foreigners too). It was like 2 pm and we didn’t know where to go. Usually there is food everywhere in Japan. Like every freakin block has a restaurant but for some reason the area was nothing (if my life was a movie I'd just need to add a few tumbleweeds like an old Western movie. You know those dust balls that roll through town when its dead quiet).
Finally after wandering what seemed like forever (at least 10 minutes), he said let’s go in the train station basement as it connects to a mall. We found a restaurant finally that looked closed & walked in (cause that's what you do when it looks closed, barge in. At least evil foreigners do).

They sat us down (they didn't seem overly impressed with our presence which is not typical Japanese style). Usually its at least faked. Maybe they had issues with foreigners before. At least it didn't have a sign NO GAIJIN allowed as a few shops did in Kobe. The restaurant was supposed to be Italian (which probably means, some weird Japan foods added into pasta). It was fairly pricey, so Colin says lets just order like 4 dishes and mix together and should be enough for all 6 of us.

Alas, the staff was horrified. There is a saying that the Chinese eat with their stomachs and the Japanese with their eyes. I guess mixing random sauces and weird flavours together is against the rules (but being evil we did it anyways. You might say real daredevil's). I don't mean like the Daredevil on Netflix, just so there is no confusion. We didn't wear red leather or do Kung Fu. Though I do have some self nun chuck training I've been learning from Youtube recently. I'm like Bruce Lee's long lost relative but much whiter. There's a link at the end of the post.

Mushrooms, spaghetti and strawberry style might be only in Japan and not Italy.

I didn’t really enjoy the pasta, tasted raw to me. Must have been “El Dente” (barely cooked), like blue meat (where you just touch the heat with it for a nano second and it’s done). That’s a guarantee of diarrhoea right there. If you ever want to eat meat like a dog, this is your chance.

Somehow we had a lot of pasta leftover (perhaps I wasn’t the only one that didn’t like it). Colin said let’s get it to go. Since we were paying more than its weight in gold I said good idea (though I didn’t wanna be the one to take it, unless I recooked it for 1 hour on the stove, even then it wasn't very enticing).

It occurred to me I had never learned the word “take it to go” in Japanese.

In Japanese he tried,

“Uhh hi, can we have a doggie bag?”

Looks of non-comprehensibility.

“Like you know a dog bag, inu bag”. Inu is dog in Japanese, so we thought that might sort things out. It didn't!

Not quite like this, but somewhat similar.

We couldn’t think of another way to say it. In retrospect, it may have been better to say TAKEOUT or Take away (as the Aussies say).

Colin started gesturing it out.

Using his hands on the plate to act out sweep it away in a bag and take it. No reaction from the staff. They really did seem to loathe us. Its rare I had that feeling ever in Japan.

I think they thought he was asking them to clean it up. They grabbed the plates, Colin asked if they are going to throw it out and they said yes.

I rummaged through my backpack and found an old plastic bag. I don’t remember what I had in it before, but hopefully not my old smelly underwear or socks (again).

I handed it to Colin.

He forked all the pasta into the bag and sealed it (the staff must have been shocked at our savageness). He handed it to me and said "Enjoy your dinner".

Fu$K I thought. "Thanks", I answered.

I threw it in my backpack. I forgot about it and a week later I found it. I guess there was a hole in the bag or it had become acidic from ALIENS spit and eaten through the bag. I had pasta sauce all over my bag. Fu$k I thought. Unlucky for me, one of the pasta’s was seafood so there were clams and shrimp in the sauce so it was extra “pungent”. Yum yum.

The next time I came to Japan I heard someone order a beef on rice. He used the words “mochi kaeri de”. Which was like “MOFO I was that shiz done for takeout yo”. In reality, it meant carry and go home with it. Which is supposed to be politely said “O-mochi kaeri”.
It seemed in a few short years takeout was now an option.

I did ask a few Japanese friends if that was typical not to have a takeout option. They seemed to think that was pretty "risque".They didn't think anyone would ask a high end restaurant or takeout. I explained it was a crappy Japanese Italian restaurant that served strawberries in their pasta (possibly the seafood one). They didn't seem to see a problem with that, so I let it go.

I consider this sacrilegious, but sometimes things are a little different in Japan.

If you found anything above amusing or even slightly funny help me out and click one of those boxes above or give me a Google +1 or something. Might come in handy in the future.

My Youtube Channel, wearing red tights and jumping around as Deadpool (but I say Dadpool to avoid copyright. Smarter than I look!)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1NwwCyK_ZPA

Other funny stories from this blog 

http://memoirsgaijin.blogspot.ca/

My blog about everyday life (not Japan related/ and maybe less amusing )

http://eyethroughtheglass.blogspot.ca/ 

My Youtube Channel (makes no sense just like my blog)

http://www.youtube.com/user/judoka4eva

Tentacles and Testicles yum!

 Tentacles and Testicles yum!

A lot of Japanese think Gaijin (foreigners) are weird. And let’s face it, they aren’t wrong.

If you’ve lived in Japan, you would probably agree that they are more than a few messed up gaijin. By a few, I mean like as in almost all. Very few normal. Most are completely off their rocker.

They aren't just weird to the people of Japan. They are weird to me too. I wouldn't be caught dead being friends with a lot of them in Canada. This is the story of one of those types of individuals.

For some reason Japan is like a magnet for weird gaijin.

They are attracted to Japan like slugs are to beer (only faster! And that’s a useful tip about slugs should you be having problems with them in your garden, they get drunk and die).

So why do the weirdos conjugate in Japan?

That’s a question that’s hard to answer. but I think it has to do with a wide variety of fetishes.

In my case the apple didn’t fall from the tree.

I thought I was a samurai and could carry a sword around and occasionally fight ninja. To my dismay, neither exist anymore (total bummer). I did carry a broom stick around and pretended it was a sword a few times. I contemplated pretending I was Harry Potter and riding a broomstick too, but then I remembered I'm not six years old (another bummer!).

On the other side of the spectrum (or street), you will find people who have a fetish for anything, Be it manga, anime, cosplay, videos games, Japanese girls, tea, martial arts. Whatever floats your boat as they say.  

Japan has something to offer every nerd, weirdo or nut.

I remember about a guy who was sitting with a bunch of girls at a bar (my wife with him. She’s not Japanese by the way). While the girls were in mid talk he said “Does anyone like tentacle porn?”. I can’t imagine someone with a correctly functioning brain saying that. He must have had a few screws loose. I guess he already wasn't the sharpest tool in the shed.

I thought common sense dictates you don’t ask a girl if they like porn. Chances are they don’t. And even if they do they aren't going to tell you. And tentacles? Common dude. Why would a girl like tentacles? You are into some weird stuff (might I offer you a broomstick and you can pretend you are Harry Potter?).

Not the kind of stuff I'm into, but other people are.

As for tentacle porn you would have to be pretty mentally sick to be into that (I wasn't. For once I wasn't into something demented). I had to look it up and I wasn't really sure what it meant, but after reading about it, its worse than I could have imagined.

Its just tentacles and porn. And by tentacles I mean like octopus tentacles and just the tentacles in sexual acts, seriously its twisted, more twisted than a pretzel (lame joke I know).

And this gruesome question asked to five lovely ladies. Pfffft!!!

I guess the tentacles was the fetish that attracted him to Japan.

I knew he was pretty messed up but I can’t blame him a lot of people were. I knew some dudes who were playing Warhammer 2909 and dungeons and dragons in their closets and they were adults. Not cool.

Sadly I went down this road and am scarred (and scared too) for life.

On a side-note which has nothing to do with this story except the word octopus tentacles.

I was at a restaurant one time and they had a menu with limited English. All seemed well until I came to tako wasa, octopus tentacles which was translated as octopus testicles.

I wasn't sure I wanted to test it incase the English translation was correct.

I ate it anyways. It tasted what I imagined testicles to taste like.

A rubbery texture like skin and takes a lot of chewing.  

Gross.

Is this what your children are playing with? Better than eating them raw.

My Youtube Channel, wearing red tights and jumping around as Deadpool (but I say Dadpool to avoid copyright. Smarter than I look!)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OUXxArlapy0

Other funny stories from this blog 
http://memoirsgaijin.blogspot.ca/

My blog about everyday life (not Japan related)
http://eyethroughtheglass.blogspot.ca/ 


My Youtube Channel (makes no sense just like my blog)
http://www.youtube.com/user/judoka4eva

The sound of death, its not that nice!

The sound of death, its not that nice

What’s that sound? Its like popcorn popping. Oh wait, that’s the sound inside my spine. No one else can hear it? That can’t be good.

Pop pop went my neck. Wonderful!

Oh the joy of pain.

Incase you haven’t read previous blogposts of mine, I don’t enjoy pain, and yet pain seems to follow me like an angel sitting on my shoulder. Only the opposite. A devil poking me with his 3 pronged poker. And razor blades attached to the ends.

The devil poking me in the neck, or actually spine.

So here is the story of the time I broke my neck, sorta.

I had been attending Judo quite regularly. 

If you aren't sure what that is short version is, its throws, sweeps, chokes, holds, strangulation and armlocks. There are no kicks or punches despite Austin Powers and his "JUDO CHOP!".

I mentioned I was going regularly. While I’d like to say I was getting good, that’s not quite true. I was getting good at armlocks and chokes. Possible due to some influence from my Brazilian friends who did Brazilian Jiu Jitsu (BJJ). My throws were terrible. They probably wondered why I was learning about as fast as a rock.

Well there was one teacher and he really didn't like gaijin (foreigners). I could tell this by the way he looked at me. I always felt like if he saw me in the alley he’d hit me on the head with a crowbar if he could. I always tried to rush out either before or after him, in hopes he didn't bring a crowbar behind me. I'd usually bike away at low speeds on my granny bike (up to 1km/ hour).

In his Japanese way, he liked to pretend to be nice to me (with a smile no less), but I felt deep down it was all "for show".

One night I caught him in a choke. He submitted. I've never seen him submit before. He got mad and the look on his face suddenly changed. No more Mr. Niceguy (or fake nice guy). He started getting really aggressive with me. Sadly for me, I'm kind of wimpy (as in bones and no muscles), so it doesn't take much to crunch me like a peanut. And a peanut I became.

There are legal / illegal and inbetween moves in Judo. I think the move he did on me was more illegal with borderline half legal written all over it.

I tried to armlock him while I was on my back, he pushed my legs towards my neck and grabbed my hands underneath my back. I couldn't breath since I was crunched,  I couldn't make a sound as my lungs were deflated like a whoopie cushion. I couldn't tap with my hands, couldn't tap with my feet, and realized my neck was starting to spin like I was an owl. I felt like those ghosts in movies who can turn their heads all the way around, only mine wasn't supposed to due to me still being alive.
But that was OK cause I was about to die and then it would be normal.

He applied more pressure to my legs which were now against my shoulders pinning me. My neck was twisting and slowly bending the wrong way.
Since I wasn't breathing the good news was I was seeing colours. My neck was being bent and I couldn't use any neck muscle to prevent it from snapping. I felt the muscles tear (a wonderful feeling I might add, NOT!!).
I realized I was about to die and quite a painful way to go. If only I had a few more seconds before everything went black and also before my head popped off (almost like a Jack in the deathbox).
I heard some crunching like someone stepped on twigs. Maybe I was being sacrificed to the Judo Gods.
Then, I realized it was my neck.
The Judo teacher stopped and asked if I was OK. I realized I was still able to move but it felt like I was in a trance. No not good I said.
I rolled off the mats, at least I could still move.
The bad news was my trance was ending and the pain rushed in. If I was in Canada I would have called 911 but I was in Japan so I forgot the emergency number.
I biked home with my head and neck ringing and crunching.
Every time I moved I felt like someone was holding my head down and something was snapping within my spine.

For the only time in my life I wished I were an owl. I might live with my neck like that.

I did something stupid the next day.
I rode my scooter to school. If I was smart I would have taken my bicycle but I was late and in pain.
I got on my scooter and put my super heavy motorcycle helmet on. I felt like my spine was being compressed like the pressure of the bottom of the ocean in 10,000 leagues under the sea (never saw it, but I did see League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, which was not as bad as the reviews said).

The helmet was heavy on my neck already without it being broken. 

I got to work and realized I was having problems keeping my head off my desk.
I went to the Doctor and told them my neck hurt and explained the injury.
They told me I had broken my neck. They strapped me down to a bed.
I said "Listen I rode here on a scooter and I wore a motorcycle helmet, my neck can't be broken".
The Doctor checked my neck and said he can't detect broken bones but I need an MRI to check for smaller cracks or cartilage damage.
In the meantime he said he explained in the worst case scenario its a small bone. 
If its cartilage, in theory it should heal.
It didn't.
MRI showed some tissue damage C4-C5 but no broken bones.

My neck hurts still 6 years later, I feel like I have the neck of a 90 year old with severe arthritis.
I even asked Santa once for a new neck, but sadly I didn't get one.


On the plus side I don't take painkillers anymore.
On the negative side I don't feel "high" from the painkillers anymore.

On the plus side I didn't die.
On the negative side, I wanted to die from the pain many times.


HA!


Other funny stories from this blog 
http://memoirsgaijin.blogspot.ca/

My blog about everyday life (not Japan related)
http://eyethroughtheglass.blogspot.ca/


My Youtube Channel (makes no sense just like my blog)
http://www.youtube.com/user/judoka4eva

Demonstration on Riot Control for Newbies

Demonstration on Riot Control for Newbies

Be careful when wearing a tie. Although it looks professional it can be used against you.

  

Myles and his bloody demon students another part of the endless series.

Comments provided by Deo and Mike at end (witnesses below).


I don't even know where to start with this one.
On my third year of JET (JAPAN Exchange Teaching Program), I get asked to do a demonstration lesson for some new ALT's (Assistant Language Teacher).
I figured this is a terrible idea for 2 reasons
1) I'm not a very good teacher (ALT) and moreover
2) My school is full of demon children, how will they live through the 2 hour lesson? I don't wish that torture on anyone.

I tell Shobana I think its a bad idea to do it. He tells me I’m the most senior, one other senior gaijin teacher always sleeps in class, and the other has only been here 2 years only. In fact every time I heard stories from the guy that was only there 2 years, his classes inspired me to be a better teacher. Then when I'd get to school I'd just think, with some of these little demons I can't even expect to them to learn Hello, its going to come out HARO no matter what I do.
Mr.Shobana (education ministry teacher) calls me a few times at my school telling me I should do it and I'm such a good teacher (rub my ego). It usually works.
He calls me more and more and again I bring up the other Assistant Language Teachers and he said he can't be trusted. I laugh again.
So a date is set for me to demo lesson for Mike, Deo, Janna and May. I send them a warning email. 
The email tells them that I can't predict what will happen but most likely it won't be good. I told the girls they might want to cover their chests, because based on how they molest me they will probably molest them. So I'm pretty sure they all think I'm joking. As my stories sound a bit far fetched I realize this is a chance for them to see I actually do have demon students.
So one day they come and the head English teacher tells the classes there will be other foreigners coming to the class to see it. Some of the students say typically things, like "F#% the foreigners", "Tell them to go home to their country", "I don't want to, f@% them", etc. Perfect I thought, let them be themselves.
So they come to my first demo class which is a 2nd year class. I told the head teacher I thought this was a bad class to chose from because one of the boys was really bad. He said he wasn't that bad, compared to other classes. I insisted he was uncontrollable and it was a bad idea. He didn't listen. What else is new?
The new English teachers come into the class. They sit at the back. My students were not used to having a girl English teacher. Since my school always needed a male to take the beatings. Insert me as a rag-doll here.
The bad student starts talking as soon as they come in, "Oohhh her chest is so big, I want to touch". He keeps staring at the girls. I'm kind of pissed off that he is so rude even though I didn't think the other foreigners understood what he was saying. Then he looks at the Chinese Canadian girl "Is she Japanese? She seems weird for Japanese, but her chest is big too". The other students aren't reacting to what he is saying. Then he starts talking to the guy behind him saying he is going to look at the two gaijin and touch himself. OK, I'm a bit angry but I try to let it slide. I know he is bad, but he is making me look bad (even though I realized the English teachers didn't understand the dirty words coming out of his mouth). I didn't like it. Sometimes its nice to understand Japanese, other times not. If I said the kind of stuff he said, I would have had a bar of soap in my mouth, trust me, it DOES NOT TASTE GOOD!
Finally the class starts and the kid keeps blabbing as I try to get the students to repeat after me. I'm getting angry that he never shuts up and is so rude but try not to show it.
Finally the older teacher helper is trying to talk to him to settle him down. He is like "Get out of my face old hag, you stink". On this point he was correct, she was an old hag and she stank but that's a different story (which I've already posted in this blog if you haven't read it). Read it after if you haven't already.
He keeps telling her to get away and is threatening her. I didn't feel good about this, because apart from her being a hag and smelly she was an elderly lady and didn't speak any English (yet supposedly was to help in an English class? Seriously WTF!?). So this is also making me angry, plus the new English teachers can see this and do understand because regardless of the words he was saying he was acting threatening towards her. I cast a look at Deo and Mike and they see what's going on. May and Janna seemed more into the class and were doing a good job of ignoring the bad student.
Finally he starts calling to the girls "Hey big boobs, big boobs!!". I think Janna knew that he was talking to them cause she said something like"Turn around and listen!" He was like, "I don't know what the F#^# she is saying". Since we all start ignoring him he is now getting angry. I can tell by this sly look he is up to no good and planning something. Repeat I did warn the head teacher he is bad news.
Finally he grabs a hanger and bends it to hit other kids with. At first he is just hitting their desks and he is getting closer to them. This is the last straw for me. The head English teacher is doing jack sh#$, and the head of the education board is there and also doing jack. I'm like WTF? If I give him a gun and knife then will you finally react?

Yes you look super cool awesome and stand out, but kindly don't be a douche.

So I figure the best solution is to just take it away and continue as if nothing happened. So he is threatening this girl beside him and she keeps saying "Stop!" but he doesn't. So I walk over and I'm reading the textbook out loud and I grab the hanger. I walk back to the front desk and throw the hanger in the garbage. He starts yelling in Japanese "I'm getting angry, very angry! I'm going to get you, you are going to pay for that". I block him out and keep my face glued to the page trying to finish with the kids as the class is getting near the end. Then, all of the sudden I see some movement out of the corner of my eye. I try to ignore it as I wanted to get the text done. Suddenly someone grabs me by the shirt and tie and throws me on a desk ninja style (at mach 5 speed). I'm like whoaaaaa, Jesus! Finally Shobana and the head English teacher strike into action and grab his fist as he is about to smash it into my face. Better late than never I guess. I don't need plastic surgery on my nose, its big enough.
They kick him out of the class as he tells me he is going to kill me. Not with a hanger please, seems a bit too painful.
I rearrange my tie and shirt and continue on with the lesson. At this point I'm as sweaty as can be. So I'm like fu#k let's do this bitch and get it over with. I continue with the bullshit dialogue and the class ends.
After the class is over all the teachers watching say I did well under the pressure and it was sad I had to deal with that kind of crap everyday. I didn't tell them but I almost crapped myself (I think I did a little). I could feel the diarrhea ready to burst under the pressure.



Deo's Version
That dude got beat down.


Mike's Version
It was funny.


My blogpost about the old lady teacher.
The Toxic Smell of Age
http://memoirsgaijin.blogspot.ca/2011/12/toxic-smell-of-age.html

I think I need Wayne Brady's help next time.

If you found anything above amusing or even slightly funny help me out and click one of those boxes above or give me a Google +1 or something. Might come in handy in the future.

Other funny stories from this blog 
http://memoirsgaijin.blogspot.ca/

My blog about everyday life (not Japan related)
http://eyethroughtheglass.blogspot.ca/


My Youtube Channel (makes no sense just like my blog)
http://www.youtube.com/user/judoka4eva

A Soccer Kick to the Demon Student part 2

Have you ever wanted to a soccer kick someone in the face?

I have.
It sounds mean, and guess what. It is!

Part 2

This looks bad, but I totally wanted to do it. Soccer boots on as well.

If you didn't read my last post, please read it first. 
http://memoirsgaijin.blogspot.ca/2012/06/soccer-kick-to-demon-student-part-1.html

If you don't have time or don't want to, the gist is that this one kid was evil and happened to be the devil's spawn. He wanted to test to see how Zen I was. I wasn't at all and lost control.

Back to the original story, after he sprayed himself with perfume and with the heat all the kids started complaining. He picked on the nicest, smartest kid in the class who was sitting beside him and he sprayed her in the face with the perfume. I was furious. She was this little quiet, helpless kid, who he chose to abuse because he is the biggest bully. This demon child physically abuses teachers and students and is getting away with it.

I told him to stop it. I don’t recall now if I spoke in English or Japanese, but either way he got the message I was not impressed.

He came to the back of the classroom where I was standing and shoulder checked me into the wall. He seemed to be walking out of the class.

I lost it. I grabbed him by the shirt and slammed him into the door. He started punching me in the face and chest which made me more angry. Of course I couldn’t really punch him, since he is a kid. Although one of the Japanese English teachers used to tell me someday I should try, since the chances of me getting sued or kicked out of Japan were less due to me not being Japanese.

He fell against the door and I pushed him harder. He grabbed me by the trachea (throat) and started to try to crunch my windpipe.

Double spelt wrong. Only I choked he kicked me in the balls.

 Since I was so angry, I didn’t feel much. Occasionally adrenaline comes in handy. He kicked me in the balls and I pushed him again. Finally due to the door being a sliding door and both of us leaning on it, it slide open and we fell into the hallway.

He was swearing like bloody murder and some of the hallway teachers came to see what was happening. He kicked me in the balls again and I kept coming forward, as if to show him no matter what he tried to do, I could destroy him.

He tried to punch me and I avoided it, then he kicked me in the nuts harder, which I could feel. I felt like I peeing blood. Not a great feeling to say the least. I don't suggest you try it.

As his last kick hit me in my balls and I felt like my spleen split, I grabbed his foot. At Judo I had practiced a move about 1000 times where once you grab the foot you kick/ sweep out the remaining leg. This ends up with the person either landing on their back and their wind knocked out on mats, or if on the streets, the head hitting the cement and their brains falling out. I thought about this for at least ten seconds. I could have ended it right there, but it might have ended up being permanently for him. I was trying to think rationally through the anger and adrenaline. 

Imagine me throwing you super speed on your head on cement.

I let his leg go and he tried to kick me again, luckily this time due to the previous hit my hips automatically moved back (like Elvis) trying to protect my groin from further damage. A female teacher came forward to try to restrain him and he slugged her in the face. I couldn’t believe it. I stepped on his foot and again I thought about letting him have it. I was so close to destroying him I can’t even tell you. At that point I didn’t care he was 15 years old, my size and technically a child. He was a demon that deserved some punishment.
I stepped off his foot and gave him a swift kick to his shins to level things out. Until that point I hadn’t laid a finger on him in retaliation for his kicks to my balls, punches and shoulder check. I couldn’t contain my anger anymore.
The female teacher was holding her face in pain. As I kicked him in the shin he let out a squeal like I had stuck a knife in him. Dude, I kicked you in the shin. You just slugged a lady in the face! Man up!
Finally a male teacher came and he pushed him away. Finally a few more teachers came and they managed to subdue him. They started to pull him away. At this point I looked down and my shirt and realized not only was it ripped, but there was blood on it, I didn’t know where it was from but when I felt my lip I realized my lip was cut open. My throat had fingernail blood marks and I felt like peeing blood. Maybe I can donate the blood?
The English teacher suggested I go to the staff room to go get a new shirt. Seemed like a good idea at the time. Just my luck, that demon student was standing at the staffroom while they tried to settle him down. Seriously? That is unlucky.
He ran at me as fast as he could and yelled. I thought perhaps at this point he might be scared of me, since I doubt many teachers kick students in the shin, or retaliate in anyway.
He pretended to punch me, but I had no reaction. I thought maybe it would show him how weak he is, that I don’t care if he hits me, I’ll keep coming forward and crush him whenever I want. I felt like I was a black panther (civil rights movement for African Americans in USA.) only I'm not black and my goal isn't as important.
He charged at me again, the female teacher who had got punched in the face a few minutes before begged him to stop, she literally begged him. I felt really bad for her. It was like she was begging for him to let me live. Maybe she expected the worse from him, a knife in my back. Great.
As he tried to punch me again, she turned her back on him and covered me from punches. That was nice, although the few male teachers that were left tried to control him. I headed to the staff room.
It seems like the remaining staff knew what was happening. I was told I should to the principal’s office to hide. It was like I was in protective custody. Its a kid though I thought, can't they just suspend him? He repeated about 100 times how he was going to kill me. I should have recorded it and turned it into a song. It might have caught on for the other demon children.
I hide in the principal’s office. He tried to gain access to the principal’s office by kicking the door from the hallway and punching the windows. I was laughing a bit, it seemed a bit overly dramatic and ridiculous.
After another hour of him being a drama demon, they said it might be safe for me to return to the staffroom.
I didn’t know if they were joking but they told me I should be careful in the hallways, as he may be waiting for me. I was like ummm OK.
I pictured him sharpening a pencil to stab me with. At least he is using a pencil for once I thought.
I managed to survive for the next few weeks.
One of the muscular American guys whose Japanese wife happened to work at my school knew about the situation.
During a JET English teacher meeting, they asked if anyone was having any issues. My teacher had asked me to keep the story on the down-low for the school’s sake and my own, since it was suggested to me, it was mostly my fault for setting him off.
I didn’t say anything, I had already mentioned my school was difficult and I was abused regularly, but no one took notice. Thanks by the way if you are reading this. HA!
I don’t want to compare myself to a crime victim, but it was definitely like being victimized and even though trying to report it, no one listens. Plus I didn't feel like bringing it up, since who is gonna believe I got beat by a child.
The head of the prefecture was at the meeting and he came over. As he was about to finish the meeting, the American guy said “Listen. I know this guy and he is getting beat by his students. This person doesn’t want to ruffle any feathers, release his name or his school's name but he was told BE LIKE BRUCE LEE when a student attacked him. Can anything be done or what!?”. The person claimed he didn’t know there were any issues and that if that was the situation he would like to know what he can do to solve it.
I got a phone call the next day from that person. He informed me he had spoken to his Japanese government superiors, who informed him my school was a special situation and not much could be done. I was like damn! He told me the only way I could switch schools was if for some reason I had a terrible medical condition they couldn't deal with in my town.

For the first time in my life I wish I had something serious, like the black plague.

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