Reverse Racism Good Bad Ugly

Reverse Racism Good Bad Ugly

Ah racism. Based on skin only. What a thing....

Oh, well in this case just sounds wrong.

I thought there was an expression "never judge a book by its cover", but I guess people pay that no heed (heed is a cool word, makes me sound British <PRE BREXIT British>). Funny?


When I was a kid I used to watch a lot of the Fox channel (don't judge!) They also have Simpsons and Family Guy.
During commercials they would say "RACISM. DON'T PLAY THAT GAME!"
I didn't know what Racism was. But I know it very well now. I don't play that game. But it did get played on me. I do play the GAME OF THRONES (and I'm trying to make everyone heed making me King). Tyrion Lanister is about to gain CASTERLY ROCK again (sorry that's a rave about my new favourite TV Show GAME OF THRONES).  If you don't get it you are not a G.O.Thrones FAN. Become one, its entertaining beneath the sex, deceit and dragons. In that precise order. I prefer the dragons myself (well actually also the sex).

I grew up in a very white town (some of those kids had probably never seen another skin type). I can't say I really understood racism till my cousin insulted my girlfriend who is now my wife (Chinese Canadian, born and raised in Canada). He looked at her "Your English is very good, when did you come to my country?" First off her English is the same as yours and you are judging her based on her skin. 2nd of all F#K you (if you are reading this I mean in a good F#K you way, if possible).

Now, that's positive racism. Or its just true so not sure its racism.

When I went to Japan I guess that's the first time I experienced real racism, both the good, the bad (and the ugly).

I think that regardless of your colour, they are going to be a bit of both in Japan. In other countries maybe only the bad. I'm not sure if South Africa still has "white is right attitude" but when I was 10 I watched a movie about it. I forget the name. Maybe The Gods Must be Crazy? Or was that about a coke bottle dropping from the sky. I forget.
On a completely different side note they weren't that nice to the aliens in District 9 either (if you didn't know District 9 draws parallels about racism and mistreatment in South Africa).

In this case, we could have known since day 1. Snap! Positive racism!

I saw some touching moments of hugs and genuine friendships happen with some elementary kids and a lot of the non white people (Maori from New Zealand, African Americans, Mexican Americans etc etc etc). I felt like the racism card hadn't entered the card deck yet. Not programmed yet.
In my experience of students I felt a little bit like CHARISMA MAN and then on the lower part of the scale like an alien invader that should be executed at first site (you should read my story about getting kicked in the face by a student).

Check this out if you are interested in Charisman Man, its semi-true. Rock Star, God, Too COOL.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Charisma_Man
To throw a little science (call me Dr.Nye). This might be similar to the Halo effect (optical illusion). It appears like its a circle around the sun, but really its just an illusion (just look being a Rock Star is an illusion cause you aren't one. They only think that cause you are white and categorized together).


Some racism I experienced was both physical and verbal. Occasionally I laughed about it (but many times I didn't!)
I had a few kids as I mentioned previously that liked to rip my hair out of my arms and legs. It F#*#kn hurt like you wouldn't believe (about the same level as waterboarding. Look it up). Sometimes when you pull hair it bleeds, so I'd have blood dripping down my arms and staining my white shirt (and white skin too, that's not convenient having white skin). Rubbing suntan lotion on freshly scalped hair (ouch!). It was like throwing water on the sun (sizzle sizzle).
I also had a few kids that told me to "F off an die!", "Go home to your own country and die", "Filthy foreign demon, die". I didn't know if they meant it (Now I think they did).

I also had a girl that liked to pet me. I wasn't sure which area of racism this was under good or bad. She kept repeating "Your body is so strange! Its really weird". She would rub my fingers, arms, and put her grimy hands through my hair. The jokes on her I had lots of cheap gel in it! Nya nya! <- Evil cat laugh Japanese style.


I also had another girl that asked if I could hold her hand, Maybe she wanted to take me to the zoo or show her parents a monkey?
I felt weird about it so I did my best to avoid her (I told her I had SARS and ran away a number of times). I hoped she would think I got SARS, got over it then got it again.


As I mentioned before, I also had the joy of having my genitalia stared in public baths and onsens (hot springs). Yes I was different and because of that there seemed to be some Superman style beaming eyes burning into me, but sometimes curiosity kills the cat (I'm not suggesting anything diabolical here, just a running commentary if this is good or bad racism by being stared at).
It feels embarrassing, but it also feels good cause people want to see your genitalia (I try that here but I often get arrested for "lewd conduct"). Its not lewd, its a lesson of male anatomy (a perfect specimen). I don't get arrested its just a joke (I get away with it though, mwahhahah!) <- still evil laugh but not cat style one this time.

I didn't particularly appreciate being the literal outsider as the word GAIJIN (outside person means). Although depending on the context I liked to translate it as "foreign devil sent from the depths of hell to pollute the earth and stain the clean"). Heed my words (I used heed for the 3rd time, hat trick!)

On the flip side, many times I enjoyed being a ROCK STAR.
"You are berry (very) good looking", I was once told. "Rook (look) like David Beckham".
I couldn't really argue with that cause its true.

Ouch! That's the racist stuff right there.
Definitely not a positive way!

My Youtube Channel, wearing red tights and jumping around as Deadpool (but I say Dadpool to avoid copyright. Smarter than I look!)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OUXxArlapy0

Other funny stories from this blog 

http://memoirsgaijin.blogspot.ca/

My blog about everyday life (not Japan related/ and maybe less amusing )

http://eyethroughtheglass.blogspot.ca/ 

My newest blog about being a TERRIBLE FATHER

http://howtobegoodfather.blogspot.ca/

My Youtube Channel (makes no sense just like my blog)

http://www.youtube.com/user/judoka4eva

The sound of death, its not that nice!

The sound of death, its not that nice

What’s that sound? Its like popcorn popping. Oh wait, that’s the sound inside my spine. No one else can hear it? That can’t be good.

Pop pop went my neck. Wonderful!

Oh the joy of pain.

Incase you haven’t read previous blogposts of mine, I don’t enjoy pain, and yet pain seems to follow me like an angel sitting on my shoulder. Only the opposite. A devil poking me with his 3 pronged poker. And razor blades attached to the ends.

The devil poking me in the neck, or actually spine.

So here is the story of the time I broke my neck, sorta.

I had been attending Judo quite regularly. 

If you aren't sure what that is short version is, its throws, sweeps, chokes, holds, strangulation and armlocks. There are no kicks or punches despite Austin Powers and his "JUDO CHOP!".

I mentioned I was going regularly. While I’d like to say I was getting good, that’s not quite true. I was getting good at armlocks and chokes. Possible due to some influence from my Brazilian friends who did Brazilian Jiu Jitsu (BJJ). My throws were terrible. They probably wondered why I was learning about as fast as a rock.

Well there was one teacher and he really didn't like gaijin (foreigners). I could tell this by the way he looked at me. I always felt like if he saw me in the alley he’d hit me on the head with a crowbar if he could. I always tried to rush out either before or after him, in hopes he didn't bring a crowbar behind me. I'd usually bike away at low speeds on my granny bike (up to 1km/ hour).

In his Japanese way, he liked to pretend to be nice to me (with a smile no less), but I felt deep down it was all "for show".

One night I caught him in a choke. He submitted. I've never seen him submit before. He got mad and the look on his face suddenly changed. No more Mr. Niceguy (or fake nice guy). He started getting really aggressive with me. Sadly for me, I'm kind of wimpy (as in bones and no muscles), so it doesn't take much to crunch me like a peanut. And a peanut I became.

There are legal / illegal and inbetween moves in Judo. I think the move he did on me was more illegal with borderline half legal written all over it.

I tried to armlock him while I was on my back, he pushed my legs towards my neck and grabbed my hands underneath my back. I couldn't breath since I was crunched,  I couldn't make a sound as my lungs were deflated like a whoopie cushion. I couldn't tap with my hands, couldn't tap with my feet, and realized my neck was starting to spin like I was an owl. I felt like those ghosts in movies who can turn their heads all the way around, only mine wasn't supposed to due to me still being alive.
But that was OK cause I was about to die and then it would be normal.

He applied more pressure to my legs which were now against my shoulders pinning me. My neck was twisting and slowly bending the wrong way.
Since I wasn't breathing the good news was I was seeing colours. My neck was being bent and I couldn't use any neck muscle to prevent it from snapping. I felt the muscles tear (a wonderful feeling I might add, NOT!!).
I realized I was about to die and quite a painful way to go. If only I had a few more seconds before everything went black and also before my head popped off (almost like a Jack in the deathbox).
I heard some crunching like someone stepped on twigs. Maybe I was being sacrificed to the Judo Gods.
Then, I realized it was my neck.
The Judo teacher stopped and asked if I was OK. I realized I was still able to move but it felt like I was in a trance. No not good I said.
I rolled off the mats, at least I could still move.
The bad news was my trance was ending and the pain rushed in. If I was in Canada I would have called 911 but I was in Japan so I forgot the emergency number.
I biked home with my head and neck ringing and crunching.
Every time I moved I felt like someone was holding my head down and something was snapping within my spine.

For the only time in my life I wished I were an owl. I might live with my neck like that.

I did something stupid the next day.
I rode my scooter to school. If I was smart I would have taken my bicycle but I was late and in pain.
I got on my scooter and put my super heavy motorcycle helmet on. I felt like my spine was being compressed like the pressure of the bottom of the ocean in 10,000 leagues under the sea (never saw it, but I did see League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, which was not as bad as the reviews said).

The helmet was heavy on my neck already without it being broken. 

I got to work and realized I was having problems keeping my head off my desk.
I went to the Doctor and told them my neck hurt and explained the injury.
They told me I had broken my neck. They strapped me down to a bed.
I said "Listen I rode here on a scooter and I wore a motorcycle helmet, my neck can't be broken".
The Doctor checked my neck and said he can't detect broken bones but I need an MRI to check for smaller cracks or cartilage damage.
In the meantime he said he explained in the worst case scenario its a small bone. 
If its cartilage, in theory it should heal.
It didn't.
MRI showed some tissue damage C4-C5 but no broken bones.

My neck hurts still 6 years later, I feel like I have the neck of a 90 year old with severe arthritis.
I even asked Santa once for a new neck, but sadly I didn't get one.


On the plus side I don't take painkillers anymore.
On the negative side I don't feel "high" from the painkillers anymore.

On the plus side I didn't die.
On the negative side, I wanted to die from the pain many times.


HA!


Other funny stories from this blog 
http://memoirsgaijin.blogspot.ca/

My blog about everyday life (not Japan related)
http://eyethroughtheglass.blogspot.ca/


My Youtube Channel (makes no sense just like my blog)
http://www.youtube.com/user/judoka4eva

Broken Bones, Broken Homes

From Broken Bones, to Broken Homes

Its not that bad, I should be OK to fight.

I think the title makes it sound like some sort of abuse. I guess in some ways it was.
As I mentioned in previous posts I had a teacher at my school that weighed over 150kgs, which is over 300 pounds. He was a big boy!
He told me to come to his club in Omihachiman, so I did. He was like the marshmallow man only scarier. And I couldn't eat him (technically).

The Evil Marshmallow man. I think if I saw him I'd just eat his legs.

When I was a kid in high school my Judo teacher used to say “Unless you fight the best you can’t become the best”. Good analogy I thought, except when it almost kills you.
You would think that if someone is so much better than you, they have a lot of control and so can prevent someone else from getting hurt.
The large Judo guy I mentioned above was a bit of racist. He liked to mumble “Damn Gaijin!” a lot. He seemed to not enjoy foreigners that much. He enjoyed throwing me on the mats and telling me I was a wimp (which is true). If he thought that would make me go harder, he thought wrong. It didn't turn me into an angry frenzy to fight back. It made me become tired and less aggressive because I knew it was true. Alas, with my 125 lbs frame and zero muscle I was The WEAKEST LINK. I'd vote myself out of the tribe if I was on Survivor.
There was one massive guy at the club who was bigger than this guy, so I guesstimate his weight to be about 340 lbs. They say that in Judo, regardless of size anyone can win, if you are good enough. My issue. That’s simple. I wasn't good enough.
He asked to go with me, and I thought of the motto go against the best so I said OK. He was so big I couldn't move him. He tried to throw me and I blocked. Then he used his weight to force me into the ground but since he was using his weight he landed on me since I was resisting. Crap!
I couldn't breathe at all. Felt like someone, in this case a two ton marshmallow man, had just crushed my lungs. My diaphragm failed to inflate again. My Judo teacher who was the only big guy started yelling at me “Get up wimp! Damn gaijin! All weak”. I tried to get up but something didn't feel right. He grabbed me by the scruff of my judogi (Judo outfit) and pulled me to the side of the mat like I was a rag-doll. I rolled to my side but couldn't get up, I figured I must have torn a muscle. Slowly I got up, the big monster Judo guy, said one more round. Again he threw me the same way and landed on me. I thought he must hate me, since normally in practice you don’t land on people, especially since there was over 160 lbs weight difference. He must have known he was hurting me. Ah, the joy of racism and beatdowns.
I continued the rest of practice being thrown by various people. Everytime I got thrown I felt like my wind was getting knocked out of me (and perhaps my brain cells as well). When I got home, I decided to ice the area to heal the torn muscle. Didn't seem to help. Every time I laughed, moved or lifted, I felt sharp pain.
Three weeks of pain went by and I continued going to Judo. I figured a torn muscle should have healed by now (if I had stopped Judo maybe it would I also thought), being thrown repeatedly wasn't good for it. I thought I saw a protrusion from my skin a few times, and it felt hard. After many people suggested I go get it checked out, I finally did.
I went to the nearest hospital. I told them I had hurt my side, maybe muscle in Judo. She asked when. I said three weeks ago. And she asked “It hurts still?”. Hell yes it does.
After waiting two hours I was put in a room with two young male doctors. I wondered if they were interns. “I wish Tanaka sensei was here. He speaks English”, they kept repeating to each other.
Ummm, hello I speak Japanese, not perfect, but enough to communicate.
“Umm, Hi Doc, my rib hurts, maybe muscle”, I said. “I wish Doctor Tanaka was here, he speaks English”, they answered. Ummm is he going to repeat this forever I thought.
He felt my rib and said we need to take an X-ray. “It seem your ribs are broken and maybe your brain too”. No, that second part isn't true (at least not he couldn't tell by the X-ray about my brain). He shows me the X-ray, and tells me my rib broke in the middle. Uhh, that didn't sound good. He told me that it was split like a wishbone in half and poking out. He even drew me a picture. If only Dr.Tanaka was here could explain it to me better he said. Haha, repeating jokes, I like. I'm very simple.
“Well not much we can do. Broken ribs tend to heal themselves. You must have been in a lot of pain for three weeks. I can wrap them but it won’t really do anything after three weeks”.
I half ass thanked him and headed home (I should have told him Dr.Tanaka would have fixed it if he was there).
I decided against doing Judo where I might get thrown for a month. I did however continue to do groundwork where my friends would use their knees into my stomach and broken rib. It never seemed to heal. I guess that’s why.
After six years it still hurts. My mom told me its phantom pain, that I'm just making it up. I'm not sure for what purpose I’d make up pain. I'd rather not have it. I tried yoga-ing it out to no results.
I haven’t been doing Judo recently due to my six year old broken ribs and broken neck.
Broken neck story to come later.
I tried to go to a less contact sport like soccer but I hear a cracking sound when I run and if I try to head the ball, I feel like someone hit me on the head with a baseball bat. 
I can't win.

He must have something broken for that pain. Maybe neck and rib like me? Maybe I'll become a blogger, its safer.

If you found anything above amusing or even slightly funny help me out and click one of those boxes above or give me a Google +1 or something. Might come in handy in the future.

Other funny stories from this blog 
http://memoirsgaijin.blogspot.ca/

My blog about everyday life (not Japan related)
http://eyethroughtheglass.blogspot.ca/


My Youtube Channel (makes no sense just like my blog)
http://www.youtube.com/user/judoka4eva