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Sunday, June 30, 2013

Aikido Pain is But Englightenment

Ouch!
Dude it hurts, seriously.

I never thought much about Aikido when I was a kid. I remember my Japanese teacher (who was white and not Japanese) used to tell us Aikido was a bit fake, when people pretended they threw ki balls (energy balls like hadoken from Street Fighter) and the other person pretends to fall over.
The only person who does a version that actually seems violent and isn't fake is Steven Seagal. Although he's a bit washed up these days.

My friend Brandon wanted me to go to Aikido but I wasn't very keen on it. It happened to be at the same gym where I was doing Judo, so I thought the location is good at least even though the martial art isn't.

I snickered while people did these complicated moves thinking how I could throw them mock 5 (the speed of light) on their face. As I snickered, an old Japanese man was standing in the corner not doing much. I wasn't sure who he was, since there was another Sensei (teacher) teaching the class.
I think he saw me snickering. He called me over and told me to grab his wrists. After a delay of about 3 seconds I was screaming. I felt like my wrist bone was cracking. And by cracking I mean like the wishbone of a chicken.
If a 70 year old can take you down, it must be somewhat legit.

That shiz seriously hurts. Unless you have a serious knack of pain don't snicker in class.


I wasn't into the enlightenment part or into wooden weapons but that's cause my body is already like weapon, sharp and deadly. I'm like the Beverly Hills Ninja.

Take Chris Farley and divide by 3, I'm 1/3 of his size, but even a better ninja!
We did self reflection stuff, and meditation etc, which I had no interest in. All I wanted to do was kickass. Or to be precise get my ass kicked, and my ass I mean wrists cracked like wishbones.

A lot of the moves were kind of complicated and I kept being told my movements seemed very Judo-ish. I was like ya cause I did 10 years of Judo.

Finally there was a bald headed dude. I thought he was a monk. A monk of pain. Instead of nirvana he wanted to create his own nirvana, void of foreigners. I thought he wanted to kill me.
His wrists were the size of two legs. When he told me to grab his wrists my hand wouldn't go half way around.
Ha! Even now I'm laughing about it.
He looked like a monk with this grin, always laughing, knowing he could snap me in two.

That monk of pain was legit. He liked to hurt people or at least foreigners. He was nice to girls though.

Although I thought Judo was better overall I learned a few useful pain techniques. Which I often practice on my wife and child (kidding!!).
My wrists still crack occasionally to this day due to my Aikido training.
I think they gave me early arthritis.

Or maybe I should say wishboneristis. Ha! Lame.



Other funny stories from this blog 
http://memoirsgaijin.blogspot.ca/

My blog about everyday life (not Japan related)
http://eyethroughtheglass.blogspot.ca/


My Youtube Channel 
(makes no sense just like my blog)
http://www.youtube.com/user/judoka4eva


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