A Soccer Kick to the Demon Student part 2

Have you ever wanted to a soccer kick someone in the face?

I have.
It sounds mean, and guess what. It is!

Part 2

This looks bad, but I totally wanted to do it. Soccer boots on as well.

If you didn't read my last post, please read it first. 
http://memoirsgaijin.blogspot.ca/2012/06/soccer-kick-to-demon-student-part-1.html

If you don't have time or don't want to, the gist is that this one kid was evil and happened to be the devil's spawn. He wanted to test to see how Zen I was. I wasn't at all and lost control.

Back to the original story, after he sprayed himself with perfume and with the heat all the kids started complaining. He picked on the nicest, smartest kid in the class who was sitting beside him and he sprayed her in the face with the perfume. I was furious. She was this little quiet, helpless kid, who he chose to abuse because he is the biggest bully. This demon child physically abuses teachers and students and is getting away with it.

I told him to stop it. I don’t recall now if I spoke in English or Japanese, but either way he got the message I was not impressed.

He came to the back of the classroom where I was standing and shoulder checked me into the wall. He seemed to be walking out of the class.

I lost it. I grabbed him by the shirt and slammed him into the door. He started punching me in the face and chest which made me more angry. Of course I couldn’t really punch him, since he is a kid. Although one of the Japanese English teachers used to tell me someday I should try, since the chances of me getting sued or kicked out of Japan were less due to me not being Japanese.

He fell against the door and I pushed him harder. He grabbed me by the trachea (throat) and started to try to crunch my windpipe.

Double spelt wrong. Only I choked he kicked me in the balls.

 Since I was so angry, I didn’t feel much. Occasionally adrenaline comes in handy. He kicked me in the balls and I pushed him again. Finally due to the door being a sliding door and both of us leaning on it, it slide open and we fell into the hallway.

He was swearing like bloody murder and some of the hallway teachers came to see what was happening. He kicked me in the balls again and I kept coming forward, as if to show him no matter what he tried to do, I could destroy him.

He tried to punch me and I avoided it, then he kicked me in the nuts harder, which I could feel. I felt like I peeing blood. Not a great feeling to say the least. I don't suggest you try it.

As his last kick hit me in my balls and I felt like my spleen split, I grabbed his foot. At Judo I had practiced a move about 1000 times where once you grab the foot you kick/ sweep out the remaining leg. This ends up with the person either landing on their back and their wind knocked out on mats, or if on the streets, the head hitting the cement and their brains falling out. I thought about this for at least ten seconds. I could have ended it right there, but it might have ended up being permanently for him. I was trying to think rationally through the anger and adrenaline. 

Imagine me throwing you super speed on your head on cement.

I let his leg go and he tried to kick me again, luckily this time due to the previous hit my hips automatically moved back (like Elvis) trying to protect my groin from further damage. A female teacher came forward to try to restrain him and he slugged her in the face. I couldn’t believe it. I stepped on his foot and again I thought about letting him have it. I was so close to destroying him I can’t even tell you. At that point I didn’t care he was 15 years old, my size and technically a child. He was a demon that deserved some punishment.
I stepped off his foot and gave him a swift kick to his shins to level things out. Until that point I hadn’t laid a finger on him in retaliation for his kicks to my balls, punches and shoulder check. I couldn’t contain my anger anymore.
The female teacher was holding her face in pain. As I kicked him in the shin he let out a squeal like I had stuck a knife in him. Dude, I kicked you in the shin. You just slugged a lady in the face! Man up!
Finally a male teacher came and he pushed him away. Finally a few more teachers came and they managed to subdue him. They started to pull him away. At this point I looked down and my shirt and realized not only was it ripped, but there was blood on it, I didn’t know where it was from but when I felt my lip I realized my lip was cut open. My throat had fingernail blood marks and I felt like peeing blood. Maybe I can donate the blood?
The English teacher suggested I go to the staff room to go get a new shirt. Seemed like a good idea at the time. Just my luck, that demon student was standing at the staffroom while they tried to settle him down. Seriously? That is unlucky.
He ran at me as fast as he could and yelled. I thought perhaps at this point he might be scared of me, since I doubt many teachers kick students in the shin, or retaliate in anyway.
He pretended to punch me, but I had no reaction. I thought maybe it would show him how weak he is, that I don’t care if he hits me, I’ll keep coming forward and crush him whenever I want. I felt like I was a black panther (civil rights movement for African Americans in USA.) only I'm not black and my goal isn't as important.
He charged at me again, the female teacher who had got punched in the face a few minutes before begged him to stop, she literally begged him. I felt really bad for her. It was like she was begging for him to let me live. Maybe she expected the worse from him, a knife in my back. Great.
As he tried to punch me again, she turned her back on him and covered me from punches. That was nice, although the few male teachers that were left tried to control him. I headed to the staff room.
It seems like the remaining staff knew what was happening. I was told I should to the principal’s office to hide. It was like I was in protective custody. Its a kid though I thought, can't they just suspend him? He repeated about 100 times how he was going to kill me. I should have recorded it and turned it into a song. It might have caught on for the other demon children.
I hide in the principal’s office. He tried to gain access to the principal’s office by kicking the door from the hallway and punching the windows. I was laughing a bit, it seemed a bit overly dramatic and ridiculous.
After another hour of him being a drama demon, they said it might be safe for me to return to the staffroom.
I didn’t know if they were joking but they told me I should be careful in the hallways, as he may be waiting for me. I was like ummm OK.
I pictured him sharpening a pencil to stab me with. At least he is using a pencil for once I thought.
I managed to survive for the next few weeks.
One of the muscular American guys whose Japanese wife happened to work at my school knew about the situation.
During a JET English teacher meeting, they asked if anyone was having any issues. My teacher had asked me to keep the story on the down-low for the school’s sake and my own, since it was suggested to me, it was mostly my fault for setting him off.
I didn’t say anything, I had already mentioned my school was difficult and I was abused regularly, but no one took notice. Thanks by the way if you are reading this. HA!
I don’t want to compare myself to a crime victim, but it was definitely like being victimized and even though trying to report it, no one listens. Plus I didn't feel like bringing it up, since who is gonna believe I got beat by a child.
The head of the prefecture was at the meeting and he came over. As he was about to finish the meeting, the American guy said “Listen. I know this guy and he is getting beat by his students. This person doesn’t want to ruffle any feathers, release his name or his school's name but he was told BE LIKE BRUCE LEE when a student attacked him. Can anything be done or what!?”. The person claimed he didn’t know there were any issues and that if that was the situation he would like to know what he can do to solve it.
I got a phone call the next day from that person. He informed me he had spoken to his Japanese government superiors, who informed him my school was a special situation and not much could be done. I was like damn! He told me the only way I could switch schools was if for some reason I had a terrible medical condition they couldn't deal with in my town.

For the first time in my life I wish I had something serious, like the black plague.

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Other funny stories from this blog 
http://memoirsgaijin.blogspot.ca/

My blog about everyday life (not Japan related)
http://eyethroughtheglass.blogspot.ca/


My Youtube Channel (makes no sense just like my blog)
http://www.youtube.com/user/judoka4eva

 

Farewell Party and Speech Bomb

Farewell Party and Speech bomb

Bonus that I lived the 3 years there.

You know regardless of how bad things are, you probably have a better connection with people you have gone through rough times with. At least that’s what I thought. I felt like I had come a long way during my 3 years in Japan. Most of the kids liked me (not the graduated ones, they still wanted to kill me). I felt like I had changed a few of their lives for the better and even helped them, not only through exposure to foreigners, but of me having a love of them and things about their culture. Not the bad ones though, of course I still distasted them. There was one boy and one girl I felt particularly close with that I felt like I was going to miss the most of all the students. They both tried so hard to talk to me. 
Lastly their personalities were similar to mine. Which means, I should have told them to write half of this blog and told them its homework for me. Oh ya!
On the last day of school I was told to do a speech in mostly English and a little bit of Japanese. I was so nervous and I didn’t know how much emotion I would feel. As an adult I don’t recall ever crying, but for whatever reason I had a bit of sadness inside me. Hard to believe I know, me a true samurai have wimpy feelings.
It finally occurred to me that this was the end, not only of my teaching, ever seeing these kids and teachers again, but also of Japan. I was going home and this was it.
I showed one of my teachers my speech just before I got on stage. They told me I had made an error with a Japanese word. I was fairly sure I hadn’t. "Sayonaraba", is not Japanese she told me.
I said sorry, but this word was introduced to me by the head of the prefecture, and has a stronger nuance then simply sayonara. It denotes a feeling of “If we should meet again one day...”, as opposed to sayonara which does mean goodbye (usually forever). I looked it up in my dictionary to confirm, yes it was there and says a stronger feeling than sayonara. I asked another Japanese teacher, “No, its not Japanese”, she said. I didn’t want to argue with her, since not only did someone tell me its Japanese, my dictionary lists it was Japanese. Look who is the native speaker? Them or me? Ok so its not me, but if someone told me it has a meaning and my dictionary say it has the same meaning, it means 1+1 = 2. 
I was thinking perhaps, its like Shakespeare words, I doth eat thou grapes. Or while it may be some ancient or somewhat unused expression, it is still Japanese, and varies little from sayonara, enough that everyone should understand the point of it.
As I got to my final sentence, I thought I felt a tear in my eye. I breathed deeply and felt my lungs fill with phloem. Yes, I don’t know why, but lots of phloem. "Teachers, Students......" I said. I looked around and saw a lot of grade 6 girls crying, "Sayonaraba!"...silence. Did they understand the last part or they all think I made a mistake and meant sayonara.
No one clapped. Ummm.... shouldn't I get a clap or something? I got the crap beat out of me for 3 years and no clap? That ain't cool.
A girl walked up on stage, it was one of my favorite students Yuki. In English she said “Myles from all of us we thank you for the 3 years you have been at this school, you have helped us and change our lives, thank you”. She came forward as if to hug me, I felt some more tears in my eyes, then she gave me flowers. I wasn’t sure if I should hug her, but I was getting my damn hug regardless if I was supposed to or not.
The next day was my final day at school. During the day I got an email from my co worker, which said something terrible had happened. A student had died. My school went into lockdown. I didn’t really understand what was happening, since it wasn’t at our school but perhaps the school only heard someone had died but not how and were worried for the children. My friend said the girl was bullied a lot and jumped from the 3rd floor.
Not a great day to say the least. To top it off it was my farewell party with the teachers that night. Its never good to have a dark cloud over the day you are being thanked, or you are trying to tell everyone how much you will miss them or try to do a funny speech. I forget sometimes that sarcasm doesn’t work so well in Japan. Big foreshadow here.
After a terrible day at school I went home. I got ready for my dinner and biked my granny bike with the uncool basket on the front for the last time. I arrived at the hotel lobby covered in sweat. Perfect, start this 3 year trip covered with sweat and end it that way too. At least this time I wasn't late (or was I?). That was nice no one offered me a ride on my last day, oh well.
It reminds me of the time I walked in -10 C temperatures on snowy days to school and saw at least 4 teachers drive by who waived to me but didn't offer to pick me up.
I met some of the teachers and waited outside the dining room we were about to eat in. The principal wanted to have a chat with me. Of course after 3 years and always speaking in Japanese, it was interesting for me that now he wanted to speak in English. I could tell he had forgot a lot, so he was nervous. “Myles even though today was a difficult today, don’t let it make tonight not good OK?”. OK I answered!
I had prepared a speech which I thought was absolutely hilarious. I pictured everyone would be hollowing with laughter and what a way to start a day that was so rough for everyone. Here’s how it went.
“I’m not looking forward to going back to Canada as there is someone special waiting for me there. As all of you know, she would like me to take her on a private trip from Victoria to Niagara falls. She thinks its one hour from my house, but she doesn’t get that its 5 days by car. No one laughed. Maybe they didn’t get how funny it was. Ya and she also wants me to take her to Newfoundland! That’s on the other side of Canada. Seriously!? hahahha. No one laughed. This crowd is tough I thought. OK I’ll pull out the big guns. 
These jokes were referring to the old lady that had bad breath and was an assistant English teacher. I wrote a blog post about it before. They were all well aware she kept asking me to tour her around Canada.
The big guns were my last resort, where I thought I would sing to the tune of a song I liked. I was trying to sing but I couldn’t remember the tone because I'm tone deaf. I asked the music teacher could she start it off for me. She does it. I'm like OK I can do it, to the tune of shima uta (Island Song) with the words I translated from Japanese “Island song, like the wind, I’m blowing across the sea, like a bird flying in the sky, I’ll be meeting someone, oh the someone you know on my little island song. Silence. No one got it! Crap! Bomb after bomb tonight, that’s nice. I tried to explain it that the someone was the teacher that had worked at the school who drove everyone nuts. I thought it was funny, but maybe it's rude to insult people who aren’t there or something. Common, let me be funny today, its my farewell. Silence, a few people forced laugh. OK I guess I bombed, hopefully they don’t hate me. Finally they said OK now we are going to do a game where you are a pervert.

So if I like this it means I am a pervert then! Damn!!

I was like WTF? They are like oh ya, its cool. You wear a sash that says “I’m a pervert and you walk around”. I don’t think I get it, who is that funny for. I’m not a pervert, at least I don’t think I am.
Finally they put this pervert sash on me. I started to realize that this was it, this was the last day with these people. Three years battling all these demons kids, but coming out alive was a bonus. I had expected to lose a finger or two. I mean ya, so my neck was permanently damaged (and still is), but at least I didn’t get stabbed (only the threat of).
So there was a group of female teachers standing together and the party was starting to end. The principal whispered to me that while we shouldn't really have a 2nd party due to the tragic event of the day, we still would because it was for me, but only a few select teachers would be invited. I prayed for it not to include that old lady I spoke about in the song.
I decided I better get my farewells in and get my final hugs. I went to some of the female teachers ready to get a hug. One of the female teachers looked at me, “What are you doing?”. That was direct I thought. “Ummmm, hoping for a hug, since this is the last time we meet”, I answered. One of the male teachers patted me on the shoulders, “You are a pervert (hentai)”. I was like WTF? I moved on to the next teacher whose face went a pale colour and she looked upset like I was about to do something terrible to her. As I tried to put my arms around her she brought her arms up into her chest, like she expected me to violate her. I know Japanese don’t touch a lot (especially PDA), but this is a bit crazy I thought. Three years together of all these rough times and I don’t even get a hug, rough. At least I will remember them everyday every moment of my life for the rest of my life. Every-time I breath due to my still broken ribs and cracked neck I thought.

Ouch, that hurts. He is feeling some pain for the rest of his life too.

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My Youtube Channel, wearing red tights and jumping around as Deadpool (but I say Dadpool to avoid copyright. Smarter than I look!)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OUXxArlapy0

Other funny stories from this blog 
http://memoirsgaijin.blogspot.ca/

My blog about everyday life (not Japan related)
http://eyethroughtheglass.blogspot.ca/


My Youtube Channel (makes no sense just like my blog)
http://www.youtube.com/user/judoka4eva

Student Attack Uses Ultimate Weapon on ME!

If you don't know I was placed at a school in the hood.

I have a few stories about getting jumped by students. Here is one of them.

One day while watching soccer, I got attacked by one of my first year students.

Now, I don’t want you to think that by getting attacked, I mean verbally attacked. That was everyday of my life for the three years I was at that school. I’m talking physical abuse.

You are probably thinking how can a little kid hurt a muscular, top physical conditioned athlete like myself. Well, I’m neither actually I just mean hypothetically. The answer was by using a weapon.

As I was watching soccer, that little bastard ran his bike into my leg at full speed. Had I been a normal person I would have grabbed by his throat Terminator Style and crunched his windpipe. Or had I not been in a Zen state I may have sidestepped the bike, close-lined him, and followed that up with a quick knee to the nuts.

Unlike the Terminator “HE won’t be back!”

Subtitled above "ROSE PINK". It might not look dangerous, being a grandma style bike but trust me it hurts.

As it happens, I am a mellow person, despite what I said in the last paragraph. As he hit me in the leg and my knee started to bend the wrong way my first thought was rage. I couldn’t believe it. This kid had hurt me. I know that even babies can hurt people. They poke eyes, pull noses, have fists of rage that hammer into momma’s face. In a nutshell they can be demons. If you have a 12 year old with a weapon, like a bike, then you are in for an awakening. Introduce speed and a soft part of the body and you have max damage.

After my rage thought, I breathed in deeply and grabbed his handlebars. For a second I wish I was the HULK and could HULK SHASH his bicycle or at least handlebars into little pieces. Let him try to ride his bike with no handlebars, see how cool you are now.

How can I get Hulk's Power? Someone tell me!

I tried to push his bicycle away as he continued to peddle at full speed pushing against me. “What are you doing?”, I asked him. “Die foreigner, die!”, he answered. Not a very thorough answer to my question but nonetheless I know what he wants at least.

As you probably know in the animal kingdom the animals on top are the ones that look their enemy in their eyes and attempt to scare them off with intimidation, if that doesn’t work they eat them. In my case, I had no option to eat him, so I decided to go inside the school so he can’t attack my with his bicycle weapon. As I walked inside I saw him carrying his bike up the stairs. WTF? I hoped he wasn’t planning to bring it into the school, apart from attacking me, he’s going to get the school dirty. He just had his bike on the field (which is made of sand), so the sand will make a massive mess. I’m not cleaning it up. I’m a teacher (or perhaps a punching bag), not a janitor.

Yes you guessed it, the little demon started coming after me with his bike again inside the school. This time, he decide to mix it up, instead of going to my knee he he hit my ankles with his tires. I contemplated murder for about 5 seconds, before a teacher yelled in Japanese at the kid, “Don’t bring your bike in here!”. The kid answered, “Die, Mr.Impotence”. At least I have to give him props for that. Mr.Impotence? Who says that? Seriously, it is kind of funny. And as a bonus at least he doesn’t want only me to die. Although I do detect a bit of a theme going on here though with wanting others to die. Maybe he needs some counseling or better yet, perhaps I can suggest he take his bicycle to the highway and see if he can hit some cars with it? Yes, that sounds good.

Insert very evil laugh here.

If you found anything above amusing or even slightly funny help me out and click one of those boxes above or give me a Google +1 or something. Might come in handy in the future. If only it could make me some money. That would be even nicer!

Other funny stories from this blog 
http://memoirsgaijin.blogspot.ca/

My blog about everyday life (not Japan related)
http://eyethroughtheglass.blogspot.ca/


My Youtube Channel (makes no sense just like my blog)
http://www.youtube.com/user/judoka4eva

School Introduction. Wecome to the hood!

Welcome to your School


Oh and by the way you may be murdered.  
Wonderful I thought, I've come to the right place.
 

Next after meeting Onizuka sensei (read previous post to understand) was our school introduction. We all had different schools scattered throughout the city.
We were driven by Onizuka sensei to our school. It was located at the base of Shiga’s most famous mountain Mt.Fuji. Actually, it wasn’t Mt.Fuji, but it sure looked like it. It was called Mt.Ibuki. The school didn’t really look like much, a massive field for baseball, soccer and soft tennis. I noticed the field was made of sand. I was wondering where the grass was, I was thinking maybe its summer so its out of season or something. The school seemed kind of old and a typical looking school, white colour with lots of windows.

Not Mt.Fuji but looks like it. Kind of?

When we entered we used some crap jelly plastic sandals (which my foot didn’t even stick half way in) and walked into the staffroom. I guess I expected people to jump at us and be like "Hey welcome to your new home!", but there were barely any teachers in the staff room. We did some half ass-ed introductions then went to see the Principal. Based on the pictures I had received before arriving, I took it that the Principal and vice principal were very strict.Their pictures had shown two stiff faced, non smiling, suit clad men. Even though they say "Don't judge a book by its cover", I was judge, jury and executed based on the pictures.

Being sent to the Principal's Office! Uh oh!

We entered the Principal’s office and were greeted with a smile. My Japanese was rusty and I was really nervous. I knew that its important to make first impressions and I wasn’t sure where to start. The Principal made some small talk in Japanese about where we were from and about our lives. He then asked how we would teach English at the school. WOW! Hard question to start off, that I hadn’t thought about that at all. I figured it would come to me as I started.
The Principal then changed the topic to the history of the school. Although I didn’t understand every word, I did recognize one that stuck out “dowa mondai”. Being an Asian Studies Major (Its nothing to brag about. You end up teaching English in the hood!) I had studied it in University. It occurred to me it was kind of strange I was at this school, since I was sure 99% of the foreigner’s in Japan would have no idea what that meant.
Was it destiny I thought? I saw my new co worker did not understand what that meant and the Principal explained a bit about the word, that it was a people who were segregated in Japan, similar to outcasts (untouchables) in India. I wondered if this was why the school was so far from town and seemed to be the furthest except for one Elementary school. Hell it was at the base of Mt.Fuji (not Fuji, its a just a bad joke) so you know its cold.
I told the Principal that I had studied it. No comment from him. Maybe I was being cocky by telling him I already knew about it. He made what I thought was a joke. “I saw on your interview details that you do Judo”. Then he looked at my co worker, “And that you did Wrestling”. I smiled. I wasn’t sure how cocky I should be about it. I was never that great at Judo but yes I did consider it an important part of my life for a while. I answered that I had done it. He smiled, “You might need it”. I laughed. 
Little did I know it wasn't a joke. Crap!
Had I known what my next 3 years were going to be like, I should have asked for a baton, or possibly a taser. I was about to be introduced to extreme level 12 (or whatever level is bad) riot control. It was like I was in the WWF (not World Wrestling Federation) but World Wildlife Fund and people wanted to take me down. Or is that the World Bank? Whatever, same thing isn’t it?
Both result in pain and riots.
After our little chat in Japanese with the Principal we headed to the staff room. 

Shared desk in the middle of the room isolated.

My co worker an American, who looked like a Chinese guy and I, let’s call him “Lee”, cause that is a stereotypical name and I were shown  our desks. His name isn't "Lee" but to hide his identity from stalkers I'm going call him Lee. Its also Lee, cause Lee can be a Korean name. This rant is going to get longer. He was ethnically half Japanese half Chinese American, but most of his family grew up in Korea so to further complicate things he was also culturally part Korean.
So he looked Chinese, spoke some Japanese and Korean but was American. Confusing!
OK. Now back to the story. I had heard in a Japanese culture class the closer you are to the Vice Principal the more important you are. We were dead center of the room. Each grade 6,7,8 had 2 rows of desks facing each other for each years teachers.
Because my co worker and I had no definite year we were outsiders (which we already were). I looked around us. I stood out like a sore thumb x 2! We were placed at the end of the computer row. Maybe they were trying to separate those that were different and possibly diseased. That’s a good idea. Perhaps I should suggest masks as well. Or get a cage and keep the monkeys inside it. 
Haha, funny? A little, at least for me.
I’m not sure what they feed the kids in Japan now, because she was the size of an elephant only built like a tank, aka large and in charge. Her hair was kind of a orange yellow that looks like a wig after too many bad hair dye jobs. Her face had makeup (the first thing thought that occurred to me was, whoa at 14 years old!). Her muscles were bigger than mine. She walked into the staffroom yelling “Hey Teachers I’m bored, give me some money”. I was like, who is this monkey and who let her out of her cage? She started to yell something I couldn’t understand, must be some dialect words I thought. Then she saw me. She smiled and walked up to me. “Hi foreigner”. Umm hi to you too."You from America?". "No", I answered. She looked at me. "You are hairy". "Thanks." I answered. "Do you have any presents for me?." I was thinking first she insults me then she expects a present? What the deuce man? I went through my bag of stuff. I had brought lots of pennies from Canada. I thought they would be great gifts. 
1) They are shinny! Everyone likes shinny.
2) They are real money and best of all, DIRT CHEAP! 

She had no idea they were worth nothing mwahahah! The first question she asks me “How much is this worth in Japanese yen?”. Crap! I smiled, "Oh, ah, emm, I’m not sure how to convert it with the exchange rate and all”. I hoped she wasn’t smart enough to look it up online.

Since she never asked me about it again I can assume she was about as smart as she looked.

I should have just given her a banana. I doubt she would have even peeled it.

If you found anything above amusing or even slightly funny help me out and click one of those boxes above or give me a Google +1 or something. Might come in handy in the future. If only it could make me some money. That would be even nicer!

Other funny stories from this blog 
http://memoirsgaijin.blogspot.ca/

My blog about everyday life (not Japan related)
http://eyethroughtheglass.blogspot.ca/


My Youtube Channel (makes no sense just like my blog)
http://www.youtube.com/user/judoka4eva