Love Hotels and CHRISTmas!

Love HOTELS and Christmas!

Never a good time like good old Christmas to make a little love.

Emphasis is not on the Christ I guess.

You see in Japan, Christmas isn't the same as back home, its a time to make jolly but only between two people. Insert some 70's porn music here. babam!

Yes…..exactly.

Santa has been stuffing chimney's. The chimney's aren't clean at this place. He also put a d$ck in a box I heard.

The chimney is stuffed ”per se”.

I’ll go as far as to say the lights will be “turned on”.

Everyone is getting a present. Some big some small.

You never know, you might even lick a candy cane.

There is a whole business in Japan where love hotels that cater to every fantasy exist.

I don’t even want to hear about animals or imagine it. Although I suspect there is even a hotel where you can make Rudolph's nose red if you are into weird Christmas themed stuff.

Someone once told me they saw a Titanic hotel in Tokyo. If you like, you can take your lady (or man) to the deck and throw them off. I mean put your arms around them and tell them sweet nothings (since you are there for only one thing, you know its a tangible gift).

These love hotels can be used anytime of year, but are particularly popular on Dec 25th when all younger couples get down and dirty.

Let's say the snow really falls during that time. Shibang! <--- cool sound effect.

I decided I had to try a love hotel just for the experience. I guess if I was looking to learn everything I should have gone with someone who understood what was happening, but instead I went with my non Japanese speaking wife.

We decided to have our friend lead us to her favourite love hotel. She mentioned that this one had a free cake included with the room which you can help yourself too. Free food! How can you go wrong?

We arrived at our love hotel which was Santa arching his hips in a sexual way. 
OK, I like this. I know a lot of people are getting coal this year.

We walked up to the door.

There were pictures of the rooms. There were some shaded with a Kanji (Chinese character). 
At that time I couldn't read it, but it said occupied. I should have learned that one.

I went up to the little window which had a curtain pulled across it.

“Hi, uhmmm do you take traveller’s cheques?”, I asked.

The curtain was pulled down across the window which felt like I was talking to a wall. I guess they aren’t supposed to know who you are and if you are with with someone else's wife. Nice!
A courtesy which most would appreciate.

I tried to pull the curtain down, which the lady held back in place and said she can’t see me.

I said I wanted to see her.

I mentioned that I was a foreigner and its easier if I can open the curtain. I couldn't think of a valid reason as to why that would help in any way, so I told her I read lips well and I was deaf.

Stupid I thought. But now I realize quite funny actually! And might I add ridiculous?

Ha! As Tigger would say RIDIKULOUS.

She opened the curtain. I asked her to help me chose a room.
“You pick and go to the room”, she explained.

I pressed one button and went up. There were directions in Japanese that was supposed to lead me to the room but my Japanese was terrible (at that time. Although some might argue now still). I tried to open a few occupied doors (I hope no one under-age inside, or the older person just had a heart attack).

Finally I found a door that seemed to be glowing as if to open it.

Once we went in there was Nintendo and a slot machine, I knew I came to the right place!

After we were done (sorry no details, that's called privacy. And yes of age). Let’s go with another Christmas theme and just say "the stockings were filled", if you catch my drift. 
I exited the room. I guess it went by the hour and we had gone over by a few minutes. Whoops.

The machine showed 50000 yen. I thought it meant due and I realized we were going to be in trouble, that was 500 dollars. I didn't know what to do so I ran back in the phone and told the helping lady it was the traveller’s cheques guy again and the machine didn't take traveller’s cheques. She came up and bowed and pretended to cover her eyes. At this point after we had become so chummy I'm not sure why she wanted to continue to play this game.

We paid the $30 and left.

I asked my friend what was with the 50000 yen. He said probably its like a full 24 hour rental or something. I said oh.

I told him thank god it wasn't my total, the lady didn't seem to be down with traveller’s cheques.

Since they didn't have dishes to wash I probably would have had to hand wash the sheets! Ewww!

HA!

Or LOVE HOTELS? I won't sign my name so you won't know who I am though.

Other funny stories from this blog 
http://memoirsgaijin.blogspot.ca/

My blog about everyday life (not Japan related)
http://eyethroughtheglass.blogspot.ca/ 


My Youtube Channel (makes no sense just like my blog)
http://www.youtube.com/user/judoka4eva

Nerds Get the Hottest Girls!

What is this possible? Do we live in opposite world in 
Japan?

How can all the nerds get the hottest Japanese girls? 


That's easy, because they are seen as "cool".

The power of the nerd.

Its true, nerds get the hottest Japanese Girls.

If you are an average guy you probably find Japanese girls attractive. Or perhaps I should say, find any girls attractive. There seems to be an overlaying fetish for Western guys to be into Japanese girls.

There are many reasons why this could be, but I'm no psychologist (although I give advice like I' am one) so I'm not interested in dissecting it. I might be a psychic, or psychotic depending on who you ask as a side-note.

Instead, I want to tell you that even if you are a hardcore nerd, you can get a hot Japanese girl. Yes that’s right. Don’t shoot for the moon though, you don't need to. its likely the moon will come to you.

I sound like an infomercial.

In Canada and the U.S. if you are a nerd, you probably will slip by life looking at the hot girls, but be too afraid to talk to them. Or get passed over for one of the jocks. Such is life. It throws a lot of curve-balls.

You can say that again. Not that I've been in any closets (that I'll admit).

On the other hand, I have some good news for you there is always Japan. Even if you aren't cool, a language barrier separates you and your new opportunity from knowing you are a nerd.

The less you talk, or better yet, the more miscommunication you have, the better chance you have at getting a beautiful girlfriend. I've seen it time and time again.

To the hot Japanese girls, you are just a Gaijin "foreigner" so they don’t see nerd, they just see a foreigner. Lucky you! On top of that, all the awkwardness of the nerdy things you say, won’t be understood and since you use English they will think its cool. Double score.

Why not tell them the square root of pi to 8 decimal places? They might think its the coolest thing, and assume you are talking about how much money you make. At least you can hope.
By the way the square root of pi is 1.77245385 if you are interested in using it, I didn't calculate it myself as I am no mathmagician, and this in itself proves I am not a real nerd (although truth be known I enjoy Star Trek and I own a Klingon Dictionary). 

I'm not going to list names, but I assure you this is 100% true. Many a time I have seen the hottest Japanese girl, with the nerdiest dudes ever. I'm embarrassed to make eye contact, how could they do it? I thought more than once, perhaps I should inform the girl that her boyfriend was a nerd and could never get a girlfriend back home at least not above a 5 out of 10. I was actually surprised when I saw nerds that didn't have hot Japanese girlfriends. Perhaps they didn't know they had a magic power of illusion (or more like power of delusion).

I met one guy (no name mentioned) who was the perfect description of a nerd I can think of.

After going on and on about how he loved dungeons and dragons, anime and porn, he ended up with a girl that physically and mentally abused him. And guess what she was American.
He should have switched the tables and gone with the Japanese girl so he could be the one in power (or at least feel like he was).
I should mention that Japanese girls are very smart and you would be lucky to be married to one, as a final comment I should tell you most are highly intelligent and while you think you won the argument or got your way, they somehow end up with what they wanted in the first place.
At least you don't get yelled at.

One second, my wife is yelling at me to clean the dishes. What else is new.

hahahah oh ya!!!

My Youtube Channel, wearing red tights and jumping around as Deadpool (but I say Dadpool to avoid copyright. Smarter than I look!)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OUXxArlapy0

Other funny stories from this blog 
http://memoirsgaijin.blogspot.ca/

My blog about everyday life (not Japan related)
http://eyethroughtheglass.blogspot.ca/ 


My Youtube Channel (makes no sense just like my blog)
http://www.youtube.com/user/judoka4eva