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Wednesday, February 28, 2018

My Pet Foreigner! ME?

My Pet Foreigner (Gaijin)! ME?

Some people really enjoy having a PET. Like a dog, cat, fish. Those kind of things.
I even saw in the news someone had an emotional pet peacock they wanted to take on a flight with them on a flight, I don't mean in the back. Like sitting beside them in the passenger area. Wow. People are really messed up in this world. Like x 1 million.

Seriously? What will people take as Pet's on flights. I saw a Pig in another article.


Treating a person like a pet though is a bit degrading, unless you are into that kind of stuff (and I know some of you are, you sicko's!) Welcome to 50 Shades of brown (and I'm subconsciously placing that image of brown in your head in the beginning of this post). 

I was treated as a PET by a few of my middle school student. Sometimes in a good way, but more often than not like I was not worthy of being human. Afterall, in a largely homogeneous culture we foreigners are the "different ones". Sometimes it works in your favour, and sometimes not. This is one of those NOT times.
I had a few girls that liked to pat / pet my arms. I've never seen anyone pat/ pet a human like they do an animal. They seem enamored with my hairiness. Especially my blonde-ish arm hair.
Why you ask?
Because I had hair all over them, like a whole lot of it. Just short of a Silverback Gorilla.
I feel the mentality was "those foreigners deserve a pat on their hairy arms, but they should also be fed banana's and kept in a cage". 

I may have mentioned this before. but there was one girl (teenager) that liked to rip my hairs out. Man it hurt like you would not believe. She would ask for help, and I'd come over and then she would pet my arm. Suddenly she'd rip a hair out and I'd scream (usually like a little girl. And by usually I mean everytime).

I'm not kidding you when I say it flipping hurts. If you don't believe me, find some body hair from somewhere on your body and just pull it. Now chose a second hair and pull it again, rip it. For added pain make sure you rub some salt on it afterwards. Not that I've ever tried the salt thing, just assuming someone might be down to try it.
Honestly I haven't tried waterboarding like they do to ISIS prisoners, but its probably very similar (except for the whole feeling like you are drowning).

I really didn't like that girl, but she wasn't the sharpest tool in the shed (a little bit dumb dumb), so she honestly did need extra help compared to the other students. 
Me and my soft heart, I would always fall for her demon tricks. I wonder if she would like it if I pulled her head hair out one by one and said "Oh sorry, I saw a grey hair, just trying to help you".

At least it wasn't in the dog food I ate, or .... was it?


There was another girl, that would come up to me and hold my hand. I found it a bit weird. I had seen some teachers hold students hands as a joke, but most of the other teachers were older. I was only six years older than them, so it was like I was the University student picking up a Elementary g/f. Disgusting! I do remember a few University student I knew, that bragged he was going to pickup his grade 11 g/f at the nearby high school. Needless to say, he was a weird dude. How couldn't you be. I'm fairly sure that's illegal (but probably not in Texas. Anything seems to go there). This one girl that was a bit crazy would hold on and not let go. I would try to be nice and say sorry my hand hurts, or I gotta go. I told some of the teachers I didn't feel comfortable with her, she was a bit off (her rocker). 
She would say to other students he's so cute and I wish I had one at home when referring to me. I'm not sure she knew the Pet, me, understood.
When she said wish I had a foreigner at home? Does that mean I'm going to live in the doghouse? I was a little scared.
They way she said it was that I was a PET.
I didn't feel she counted me as human. I hope she doesn't want to offer me dogfood (its not certified as safe for human consumption, I know cause I tried it once or twice. Once I saw mint bones and it sounded good. Let me assure you, it was NOT GOOD. I guess compared to eating other dog faeces (sh%t) on the ground its good comparably). The other one was called Puritina dog chow. I mistook it for Puritan stew (which I recently saw again at the dollarstore, its been years, I was worried it was discontinued due to being toxic or something). That stuff got me through my adolescence (which just ended recently). I see the sodium content has increased by approx a million.

This one is severely overpriced $2. I saw at dollar store and was actually a dollar!
Like this but in a can and no pic of a dog. You tell me which looks better!


Kids can sometimes be funny, because their intention is not always learned from their parents depending on age. After seeing some of the parents of these kids, I thought wow, this is all learned behaviour. I don't they came out of utero thinking I'm a PET. They actually believe I was a differing life form just short of alien.
I always thought the word gaijin (as I like to translate simply as foreigner) but the actual characters means "outside person". That the real meaning wasn't much of a welcoming card. Neither was it nice we had to carry ID on ourselves at all times incase we needed to be carded as being outsiders. HINT the skin colour may give it away.
I heard one story that a foreigner had to write a formal apology for not carrying their foreigner card addressed to the Emperor. Wow! Probably banned from entering Japan ever again after sending it.

On the plus side I guess it was nicer that we were aliens or outside people as in the past it was yabanjin "barbarian/ savages". Things are getting better. Just took over a couple hundred years.

We don't get burned alive anymore too, so that's also a bonus.


If you are into history here is some further info
http://factsanddetails.com/japan/cat16/sub182/item2771.html
https://www.ranker.com/list/christian-martyrs-of-japan/melissa-sartore

At least I didn't get neutered (castrated) as her PET.

My Youtube Channel, wearing red tights and jumping around as Deadpool (but I say Dadpool to avoid copyright. Smarter than I look!)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1NwwCyK_ZPA



Other funny stories from this blog 



My blog about everyday life (not Japan related/ and maybe less amusing )



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