First Impressions Are Important Especially in Japan

First Impressions are Very Important in Japan!

That's not me for your information.

If you were under the impression that first impressions are not important in Japan you are wrong.
First of all let me set the record straight about a few things. Since I've made a mistake here or there a few times, while in Japan. Well, maybe not ONLY in Japan, but anyways...

No matter what culture you are in, first impressions are important. It sets the tone for how you feel about a person and how things with that person are about to unfold.

Well, let me tell you a few stories about making the wrong first impression.

The first time I went to Japan, our Japanese teacher, a Canadian guy was trying to tell us how to be introduced to a Japanese family, what formality level to use etc. I couldn't really care less. I recall him saying something about an entrance way at a Japanese house being important and slippers or something.
I figured at the end of the day what is the worst that could happen? Japanese people are polite and I'm generally a polite kid, what cultural mistakes could I possibly do? The answer to that, is a lot.
First off I was stuck with a family that spoke no English. Perfect immersion I thought, although since I barely knew 10 words its going to be difficult. Secondly, I had a book of Japanese jokes that I started off with them as soon as I met them. "Grading tests is terrible" I said. They halfheartedly laughed. I wondered if it was funny.
According to the book the words grading papers is terrible or "Saiten wa saitei" is funny. It has to do with a play on words. The first part of the words are the same. I didn't get it and I took it by their fake laughs neither did they.
Oh well, I thought at least I broke the ice. Things will only get better.
We arrived at their house. I noticed the entrance way. I guess in English a better way might be to say alcove or something around those lines. Its a place to put your shoes and hang up your jacket. Whatever, who needs it I thought. My hostmother pointed to the floor, sandaru. I didn't know what that meant, but she was pointing at some sandals. I smiled and answered "No, I'm good, I have shoes on, thanks." It didn't occur to me that I was still wearing my shoes still, let's blame it on the jet-lag. As she pointed out my room, I saw Japanese tatami reed mats. I walked into my room with my muddy shoes on. At this point whatever my hostmother was trying to hold back came out! "NO! AHHHH NO!". I thought someone had got injured. I realized for the first time my shoes were on and I was tracking mud into the house and including the tatami mat floor. Whoops!
Mistake number one.

Notice the pointy tips? Don't eat those ok?

I wasn't great with chopsticks, but I had eaten enough Chinese food in Canada to know in theory how it worked. I wasn't great, but I could get the job done, if I ate slowly. The first night my hostmother had prepared a massive feast of sushi, sashimi and pork cutlet! Yummy! The only problem was, I had to use chopsticks. They told me they had bought me special chopsticks. With the help of a dictionary they explained they had gold inlay and real pearl in them. I was like Ok cool.
As I started to eat, I noticed the sashimi was pretty crunchy. Why so crunchy? Its raw salmon. What the heck? I kept chewing because I was hungry. Pretty tough on the teeth I kept thinking.
After dinner I went to pass my chopsticks to my hostbrother for cleaning. He said something in Japanese which I didn't understand.
His mother said something I also didn't understand.
At that point I looked at my chopsticks and realized I had eaten them. To be precise I had somehow managed to bite the pointy tips of the chopsticks off. That explains the crunchiness.

Mistake number two.

My hostmother had setup a Japanese boy day display in my room. It contained some samurai armour and an elephant tusk. Actually the elephant tusk wasn't part of it maybe, but was still in the same room. Who doesn't have an elephant tusk in their room?
I took out the ornamental sword and pretended to decapitate my hostbrother. So funny I thought, my hostmother looked upset as I was using her family heirloom that was probably 500 years old was being used to pretend cut her son. Whoops! Oh well, its a cultural experience, kind of.

Mistake number three.

To top it off it wasn't until a few trips later that I totally botched things up.
I started going to my school to teach English in the summer. The only problem was there was no kids in class. Since it was summer holidays there were only doing sports and no classes.
They told me although I can meet the teachers and talk to them the formal introduction wasn't until a month later. No biggie I thought, its not like I'm going to wait a month to talk to them. I did my Japanese introduction and figured, if I did it to a few of them and saw them all everyday, why bother doing it "officially".

They told me that the school day started at 815AM every morning when school started, but because it was summer I could show up at 830AM.
I was on time everyday and never showed up past 830AM. My American co worker would come to work at 9AM each morning. I had beat him everyday and I felt good since I wasn't late.
The most important day had come. The first day of school!
I somehow managed to sleep in. Only on that day, and it was the only day my American co worker was on time. I peddled my granny bike as fast as I could in my suit in the humidity and arrived at the school 30 minutes late. I had slept in. The principal had already introduced the American guy and he was trying to introduce me, even though I wasn't there and technically I had already met everyone.
The principal looked at me and said "First impressions are very important in Japan, you should show up on time!"
F##$! I thought.

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Other funny stories from this blog 
http://memoirsgaijin.blogspot.ca/

My blog about everyday life (not Japan related)
http://eyethroughtheglass.blogspot.ca/


My Youtube Channel (makes no sense just like my blog)
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The Toxic Smell of Age

Old Lady English Teacher 

She was no Marry Poppins.

They made the other gaijin (foreigner) who worked at my school go to Mr.C's school (saying we had too many foreigners). So the other foreigner teacher leaves my school and I can't go to every single class cause both Japanese English teachers have classes at the same time.Then shortly after that the school felt they didn't have enough English teachers. They were down to one gaijin (foreigner) teacher, which was me. They hire this older lady to be an assistant and to help out in the classroom. I thought she had some history of English (perhaps been an English teacher a long time ago), but when I found out she couldn't speak a word I realized this wasn't going to be fun.
I recall one day sitting in the staffroom and she was staring at the clock. I wondered if she wanted to leave as much as I did. She started furiously going through English dictionaries (that were super dated perhaps from the turn of the century?) and asked if she could use my electronic Japanese-English dictionary (she never figured it out). After about an hour she came up to me "Can you teach me an English word?", "Of course", I answered. She asked me what "Seiko" meant. I answered "Sorry, I don't know what you are talking about". She pointed to the clock which had the word Seiko written on it. I tried not to snicker. Ummmmm.... Seiko is a Japanese company that makes watches and clocks. I wasn't sure how to answer without offending her. After all even though I am a foreigner she is still a senior citizen, I do have some manners. She looked at me intensely and asked, "Its English so I'm wondering what it means". I informed her it was a Japanese company that produced clocks and watches. "Oh, isn't that interesting", she answered. Not really I thought.

Seiko is not an English word FYI.

She was also socially awkward. By socially awkward I mean she was an old lady that was much older than all the other teachers, perhaps 3 generations older than the oldest teacher. She must have been a teacher at some point, retired, realized she needed to keep working and came back as a assistant teacher (but with the mindset she was the main teacher, in a topic she couldn't speak no less). 

I didn't mesh well with personality and her breath seemed like death. I remember her bringing in these weird herbs and saying that's what kept her so healthy looking, young, and smelling so fresh. I wanted to tell her, "Lady you look so old (like 90 even though you are 60) and you smell like manure, but I didn't. Yes very mean I know, but maybe I should have told her. I did try one of her herbs onetime and I felt super sick, I almost threw up.
We had a couple students that had constructed gas masks. Due to her breath being so toxic they would put them on during class. I couldn't stop laughing more than once. They weren't nice about it and asked her to move away from them cause she smelled so bad. I don't think she ever got the hint, cause when she stood within three feet of someone they would pinch their nose. I often wondered if she also was one of those people that drink their urine in the morning or wash their face with it. If the bad students had forgot their gas masks they would use a scarf and wrap it around their nose and mouth. I wondered if I could get away with doing the same.
I did my best to keep my mouth shut (literally and figuratively) about her smell and her personality. She drove me nuts due to 2 main reasons, she did not listen to the main English teacher, who asked her to not harass the worst students who would yell "YOU STINK, GET AWAY", but I would have to undo anything she taught the students one on one as it was incorrect. "Seiko" is clock in English she once said. I hope that student isn't still going around repeating it! I also heard her spell family as famiri one time. Good lord!

After her half a year at the school she was about to leave. She said she was going on a trip to Canada and since I was leaving that year, she was hoping I could drive her to Niagara falls.

After her repeated requests and invading my private space (right in my face), I finally told her, "Lady I told you already that I live in Vancouver. Do you know how big Canada is?" She thought Vancouver to Niagara falls was a twenty minute drive.

I told her Canada is the 2nd biggest country in the world. It would take days to reach that. Just to go to Alberta takes one full day! She was like "Nooo, it can't be that far. We can spend more time together and have a road trip". Trapped in a closed space with her, with no where to run, no way to escape a nose pinching smell that invades ones nostrils, I couldn't even imagine that.
I told her I didn't have a phone in Canada and left it at that.

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Other funny stories from this blog 
http://memoirsgaijin.blogspot.ca/

My blog about everyday life (not Japan related)
http://eyethroughtheglass.blogspot.ca/


My Youtube Channel (makes no sense just like my blog)
http://www.youtube.com/user/judoka4eva

Students Disassemble Prank

Students Play a Trick

Hahah funny! I like saran wrap on toilet too, its always good times.

For once this trick wasn't played on me! Woohoo, I'm lucky for once.

This story is from my memory (which is not too good) about Mr.C from Texas. As you may recall from previous stories Mr. C is an average Joe.
Mr.C was at a school not far from mine. From what I understand I had the school with the worst kids, but he had a few really bad ones as well. Not like the 90% that my school had, a but really idiotic ones.
He taught with this Australian girl who was very persuasive (by that, I mean thinks they are always right and usually was) and would take no prisoners (just like me girlfriend hahah, hope she isn't reading this). I'm going to be in the doghouse tonight.

Mr.C didn't like to plan lessons, well to be honest who does, except for this Australian girl. I remember a few times she showed me the activities and games she had created and I wondered how many nights she had spent burning the midnight oil. Don't burn it too much the houses in Japan are made of paper MWAHAHA!
This is just a metaphor to get you to catch my drift, but if I made a gingerbread, she would make a gingerbread house. She would cover the gingerbread house with icing and top off parts of it with 24K gold.

So essentially she was a great English teacher and Mr.C and I look like bums compared to her. We were nothings and didn't enjoy working hard work for our students.
I enjoyed finding a game online 5 minutes before class making 30 copies and running like a madman to get to class. For the remaining time between my classes I enjoyed playing online games or playing poker (not strip though, it is a workplace after all).

Mr.C was similar to me in this way as well, except he liked to saunter to class instead of rushing. He took it easy until he had to do something.
Well a few of the students took a liking to Mr.C and called him Harry Potter, which I can vouch for he does look a lot like. No scar in the forehead but we can fix that easily.
A bit of a sidetrack but a few students called him Spiderman, which I don't get. How does glasses and curly blonde hair equal Spiderman? That's like saying the HULK is pink.

At the same time a few students did not take a liking to him and I assume the Australian girl as well.
One day they came out after school looking for their bikes. Yes, everyone rides granny bikes in Japan.

In the location they had left their bikes were two piles of bicycle parts laid out neatly.
Mr.C laughed. The Australian girl was not impressed whatsoever and demanded the bicycle be remade to the teachers.

I'd probably laugh if my bike became this.

You gotta hand it to them, those kids work fast.
It seems like it was the hood and they were trying to get hubcaps (rims) off the cars!

I never had that happen, although more than once my tire frames were bent, which is also pretty funny, although is sucks when you try to ride and you bike keeps turning to the right.


Stuck in an endless circle. Sounds like my everyday life, what else is new!

If you found anything above amusing or even slightly funny help me out and click one of those boxes above or give me a Google +1 or something. Might come in handy in the future. If only it could make me some money. That would be even nicer!

Other funny stories from this blog 
http://memoirsgaijin.blogspot.ca/

My blog about everyday life (not Japan related)
http://eyethroughtheglass.blogspot.ca/


My Youtube Channel (makes no sense just like my blog)
http://www.youtube.com/user/judoka4eva

Broken glass and Accidental Hatred

Broken Glass at Saizeria, I swear an accident

OK, so I guess I should do a break down of Saizeria. It is a cheap Japanese FAMILY restaurant. Its sort of like Denny's. It has a lot of food that is relatively cheap but not aimed at mostly breakfast foods like Denny's. They have a drink bar where you pay like $1.20 / 120 yen with any food and can drink all the coffee, tea, pop you want. Because of this its popular for Family's to just hangout especially for gaijin (Foreigners).  

Mmmm yummy and cheap. The two things important in life.

Ever since I started going there with either Anthony or someone else, we always somehow managed to confuse the waitress'. More than once Anthony would do his order in English and not use any Japanese, which confused them immensely. Sometimes the order was wrong and we would complain and ask for the correct food. So we totally screwed them over more than once.
I always felt like a jerk, cause in particular one girl seemed to get the brunt of the problems. I thought she hated my soul. I imagined that on my last day in Japan, I would go the restaurant give her $50 worth of yen and say, "Sorry for the 3 years, my friends are aces".

This story is about Nick and I. If you don't remember Nick I spoke about him in an earlier post of two. He is the Italian American guy that thinks he is a rap Superstar and crashed my scooter into a cement wall. Read above for that story.

Cheap wine, who doesn't like stained teeth?  We drank big1.

So one night Nick and I are studying for the Japanese Language Proficiency Test. Nick convinces me to go to Saizeria and then Nick comes up with this good idea to drink wine. I'm like uhhhh... OK. Wine + Study = Great results maybe? Or not!? We order our first massive bottle I think 800ml bottle for like 790yen /$8  and started to drink. I was giggling a bit, and not from the drinking. Nick had chosen the cheap red, I guess it was so cheap his teeth had turned purple. It didn't occur to me that my mouth may look like BARNEY the dinosaur inside. "Hey kids, let's have an drink, and its not apple juice har har".

Har Har kids, don't drink and study!

So we start drinking our wine and Nick thinks it would be funny to hit on the waitress. "Hey, what's your name tag say?". He says it in English and she doesn't get it, so he repeats it in Japanese. She is like "My name is Umeda Takako". He is like oh OK, cause I thought it said umi (ocean). "No, its Umeda", she answered. He said "Ok, that's nice. Can you get me some kancho (poke in the butt)?". She has no idea what he is talking about, but he wanted kanacho (spelling?), a hard Italian style bread dessert thing. In Italian its called biscotti, in English apparently we call it double baked bread, although I've never heard it called that. She doesn't know what he is saying cause he keeps repeating poke in the butt. He is laughing. Well the thing about Nick was he has this deep kind of evil laugh, so people usually laugh based on his laugh, or they get scared because they think he is going to murder them.
I can tell the girl was scared and not sure how to react. Finally Nick says "Ok ok, one more wine."
So the next wine comes out and I'm slightly intoxicated, not to mention my teeth looked like someone rubbed a purple crayon on them. I don't know if Nick was at that point, but he asks the waitress how to read some kanji (Chinese characters) on our study sheets. Then he looks up a pervert kanji and asks her how to read it. I think it was a male body part that produces 50% of the DNA to make life. I'm sure you can guess it.
I was really embarrassed but couldn't stop laughing. It wasn't only the wine, Nick was pretty funny, if not extremely rude.
Eventually after Nick harasses her all night, we decide to go. I swear I was tipsy which explains the rest of this story. I am not an evil person at all I swear! As we are leaving the table my hand slips on the glass and it starts falling to the ground, I tried to grab it and it slipped out of my hand went straight up into the air almost hit the ceiling and then fell down and smashed all over the place. I think the waitress was sure I did it on purpose. I felt so bad.
I tried to clean it up but she said its OK (typical Japanese style). There were pieces of glass everywhere. Nick starts laughing (which makes me look like I did it on purpose cause his laugh was more evil then normal and we left. She must have hated me.
We did go back a few more times in the next coming months. I didn't see her again, I hope I didn't cause her to quit. I never gave her the $50 worth of yen either.
Whoops! Then again she may have been confused again and thought the $50 was for Nick's poke he kept requesting for anyway.

If you found anything above amusing or even slightly funny help me out and click one of those boxes above or give me a Google +1 or something. Might come in handy in the future. If only it could make me some money. That would be even nicer!

Other funny stories from this blog 
http://memoirsgaijin.blogspot.ca/

My blog about everyday life (not Japan related)
http://eyethroughtheglass.blogspot.ca/


My Youtube Channel (makes no sense just like my blog)
http://www.youtube.com/user/judoka4eva

Student Attack Uses Ultimate Weapon on ME!

If you don't know I was placed at a school in the hood.

I have a few stories about getting jumped by students. Here is one of them.

One day while watching soccer, I got attacked by one of my first year students.

Now, I don’t want you to think that by getting attacked, I mean verbally attacked. That was everyday of my life for the three years I was at that school. I’m talking physical abuse.

You are probably thinking how can a little kid hurt a muscular, top physical conditioned athlete like myself. Well, I’m neither actually I just mean hypothetically. The answer was by using a weapon.

As I was watching soccer, that little bastard ran his bike into my leg at full speed. Had I been a normal person I would have grabbed by his throat Terminator Style and crunched his windpipe. Or had I not been in a Zen state I may have sidestepped the bike, close-lined him, and followed that up with a quick knee to the nuts.

Unlike the Terminator “HE won’t be back!”

Subtitled above "ROSE PINK". It might not look dangerous, being a grandma style bike but trust me it hurts.

As it happens, I am a mellow person, despite what I said in the last paragraph. As he hit me in the leg and my knee started to bend the wrong way my first thought was rage. I couldn’t believe it. This kid had hurt me. I know that even babies can hurt people. They poke eyes, pull noses, have fists of rage that hammer into momma’s face. In a nutshell they can be demons. If you have a 12 year old with a weapon, like a bike, then you are in for an awakening. Introduce speed and a soft part of the body and you have max damage.

After my rage thought, I breathed in deeply and grabbed his handlebars. For a second I wish I was the HULK and could HULK SHASH his bicycle or at least handlebars into little pieces. Let him try to ride his bike with no handlebars, see how cool you are now.

How can I get Hulk's Power? Someone tell me!

I tried to push his bicycle away as he continued to peddle at full speed pushing against me. “What are you doing?”, I asked him. “Die foreigner, die!”, he answered. Not a very thorough answer to my question but nonetheless I know what he wants at least.

As you probably know in the animal kingdom the animals on top are the ones that look their enemy in their eyes and attempt to scare them off with intimidation, if that doesn’t work they eat them. In my case, I had no option to eat him, so I decided to go inside the school so he can’t attack my with his bicycle weapon. As I walked inside I saw him carrying his bike up the stairs. WTF? I hoped he wasn’t planning to bring it into the school, apart from attacking me, he’s going to get the school dirty. He just had his bike on the field (which is made of sand), so the sand will make a massive mess. I’m not cleaning it up. I’m a teacher (or perhaps a punching bag), not a janitor.

Yes you guessed it, the little demon started coming after me with his bike again inside the school. This time, he decide to mix it up, instead of going to my knee he he hit my ankles with his tires. I contemplated murder for about 5 seconds, before a teacher yelled in Japanese at the kid, “Don’t bring your bike in here!”. The kid answered, “Die, Mr.Impotence”. At least I have to give him props for that. Mr.Impotence? Who says that? Seriously, it is kind of funny. And as a bonus at least he doesn’t want only me to die. Although I do detect a bit of a theme going on here though with wanting others to die. Maybe he needs some counseling or better yet, perhaps I can suggest he take his bicycle to the highway and see if he can hit some cars with it? Yes, that sounds good.

Insert very evil laugh here.

If you found anything above amusing or even slightly funny help me out and click one of those boxes above or give me a Google +1 or something. Might come in handy in the future. If only it could make me some money. That would be even nicer!

Other funny stories from this blog 
http://memoirsgaijin.blogspot.ca/

My blog about everyday life (not Japan related)
http://eyethroughtheglass.blogspot.ca/


My Youtube Channel (makes no sense just like my blog)
http://www.youtube.com/user/judoka4eva

Supposedly knocking some girl down

I was framed by someone about something I didn't do.
There are two versions of this story, one by me the victim (or as some say the criminal) and a bystander who heard of the events as they happened.
As in an episode in real time on 24.

This seems like a nice temple. It has nothing to do with my story though. Its from the same town that's it.

Myles' Version
I haven't told this story for a while so I actually forget most of the details (semi conveniently?)
Here are the main points.
I was hanging out at a Halloween JET (English Teacher's) party in Omihachiman city. My girlfriend couldn't come cause she had to work. So I'm at this party and I'm having fun and feeling a bit drunk. Unknown to me, a girl , let's call her Danielle (Korean American girl) was there as well. Apparently she was so drunk that she had fallen down. I mean that tends to happen when you are drinking and its pretty standard, unless you break your nose, or get a black eye its usually all good. Although when I was a teenage I remember seeing a girl step into a fire pit and that seemed pretty dumb, luckily I pulled her leg out (yes I'm a part time Superhero) but luckily only parts of her shoe melted. No burnt legs (this time).

It's like Gatorade. No sweat I swear!

Anyways, for some reason or another I'm feeling so drunk (I probably had 1 drink). I decided I need a pocari sweat (sports drink) to cool down. This girl "Danielle" happens to be heading the same way, so we start walking together. Its always a good idea for drunks to go in pairs I thought. We get to 7-11 and enter. Jon's girlfriend (a prominent and somewhat famous guy) is also at the 7-11 but I didn't know her at that time. I only knew she was Jon's girlfriend and seemed nice. We are all inside and we buy drinks and stuff. So her and her friend's are piss drunk and are giggling and laughing. Danielle is pretty badly messed up and is walking all over the place, barely standing up. I knew I was messed up myself but since she was worse than me I knew she was really in trouble. She goes to the bathroom and I'm sitting on the curb in front of 7-11. She keeps passing out, and I'm like "I'm hungry I'm gonna go eat at Yoshi no ya". Yoshi no ya is a super famous restaurant that serves meat on rice and its super delish! She is like OK wait for me. So we start walking and I'm in front. I'm just about to cross the road and I turn around and Danielle is on the ground. I'm like "What are you doing?" and I go over to check if she is sleeping randomly on the cement. Seemed like a weird time to be sleeping since we were walking and all the sudden she falls asleep. I try to inspect her but the pocari sweat must have had real sweat cause it didn't seem to help me with re hydration or get ride of my drunk feeling at all, I still feel out of it. I noticed there is a massive bump on her head and she said she hit her head on the ground. I'm like oh my god there is a really big bump on your head. She is like please don't tell anyone, its so embarrassing I'm not drunk. I'm like ok ok, I won't tell. Then we start walking again and she told me she had hit her tooth and chipped them earlier in the night. I'm like that's so bad. She seems really upset, but I didn't really know her well so I was unsure if I should hug her, piggyback her or tell her everything was going to be ok.
We get into Yoshi no ya and her eyes keep rolling into her head. I look at the bump on her head and she has a huge bump! Like I'm not talking a little zit. I'm talking about a massive bump like an egg protruding from her head.
She keeps leaning over and passing out on the counter, while I enjoyed the tasty gyudon Yoshi no ya style (beef and egg on rice). When she looked up after a few times she said she had a bad headache and the bump looked twice as big. I decided I was too messed up to figure out how to go to the hospital and can't stand up myself. I figured I better call someone. I didn't have Jon's number and he was the SHIGA PA (the head guy for any issues) at the time. So I call my next best thing, Nick! Nick is this Italian American guy that thinks he is African American. He likes to rap and thinks he is gangster. Let me tell you he was not at that time and still is not a gangster. he also happened to be friends with Jon (cause he wants to copy his style I guess).
I call Nick and I'm like "Dude, dude, I'm so drunk, but dude, I think you better get Jon, this chick is messed up. She is hammered and fell".
This is where perhaps the story started. Maybe Nick thought I said I had a hammer and messed her up? Or that she fell because of me dropping a hammer? I'm not sure but I tell Nick to get Jon and come over to Yoshi no ya, cause I think she needs to go to the hospital.
Nick shows up running with Jon and I'm like "Hey guys! I'm messed! Anyways this chick is worse, look at the bump!". So Nick starts laughing and was like "Damn! That's a bad one! It looks so bad". Danielle is like "You told them? I'm not drunk I'm fine". I'm like uhhh I think you need some help. Jon says she better go to the hospital cause it looks so bad. She refuses and bursts out crying then hugs me for support. As to why she did when she was mad at me for telling them I don't know. Women are hard to understand.
So Nick and Jon are like let's go back to the party then. Ya that seems like a good idea, maybe I shouldn't have asked the 2 Stooges for help. This girl is drunk, massive bump, possible brain damage, chipped her tooth and if we go back to the party, maybe she can drink it off.
OK I thought, if they are in their right mind, it must be a good idea. So we walk back and Jon and I are helping Danielle walk and we are practically carrying her, cause she is messed! So we open the door and she starts falling over. She pukes her guts out, then she goes back in the party with us.
I'm enjoying the party and didn't see her again. Then apparently this rumour started that "A Myles guy had knocked some girl down". I don't know if Danielle was so drunk she actually believed it and she blacked out or if Nick has said to Jon out loud that I needed help and Danielle fell, but either way, the rumours started.
Someone comes up to me (I swear I had not meet that guy before) and he said "Did you hear some guy pushed some girl?". I didn't know who they were talking about and I had no idea it was me.
After more drinking and going to the 2nd bar, I passed out. It was a long night after all and I did have 1 drink.
When I woke it was 1st train and I walked back with Mattikus, Brent, and Willus. While on the train Mattikus said "Myles I heard you knocked down Danielle?". I was like WTF? Who told you that, he said everyone was talking about it. Danielle never talked to me after that night for about 6 months. We had basic conversations but nothing too deep. I wonder if she heard from someone that I had knocked her down, or if she had some memory of me asking what she was doing when she was unconscious on the ground.
Either way, I got screwed over by the rumours.




Brendon's Version
This one time Myles pushed a girl over.  On purpose!

If you found anything above amusing or even slightly funny help me out and click one of those boxes above or give me a Google +1 or something. Might come in handy in the future. If only it could make me some money. That would be even nicer!

My Youtube Channel, wearing red tights and jumping around as Deadpool (but I say Dadpool to avoid copyright. Smarter than I look!)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OUXxArlapy0

Other funny stories from this blog 
http://memoirsgaijin.blogspot.ca/

My blog about everyday life (not Japan related)
http://eyethroughtheglass.blogspot.ca/


My Youtube Channel (makes no sense just like my blog)
http://www.youtube.com/user/judoka4eva

Watch the Trainwreck its Coming! Can't resist!

Or maybe the title should be


Old Dogs Can't Learn New Tricks!

Spraying students hair black. Lots of spray cans used each month.

One day one of the English teachers was messing with some spray type cans outside the school. You know the pressurized ones that can explode if you hit them too hard. Or if you hold a match up to it it becomes a flame thrower (not that I’ve ever done that, maybe). Well I saw him with a hammer and nail in his hand so I knew it was going to be good. I read the can, and on the side said deodorant hairspray.
He held down the can with his foot and hammered the nail in. I wasn’t sure what I was about to witness but I knew I was going to laugh and couldn’t miss this for the world. As he nailed it in, the deodorant spray came out and started spraying everywhere like it was a hose on full blast. It at first sprayed him in the face and I started laughing, then it continued to spray him on the shirt, pants, hair, eyes etc. His glasses were dripping with it. Awesome I thought.
So I was trying not to let him know I was laughing by biting my finger saying “Oh boy, that’s too bad I hope you are OK”. He starts swearing and saying kusai! Kusai(it stinks)!! Then he yelled in English "This is very stinky!", I was thinking dude you can say that again. I could smell him from 20 feet away. He literally hit the nail on the head! He smelled like an old lady after too much old perfume trying to cover up the smell of her oldness.

Fixing an umbrella? Usually I throw them out. Privacy for kids.

Usually you would think a person learns from their mistakes. But then there are always those that don’t. After all who am I to judge? I recall catching bees in my hands until they stung me plenty of times as a child. Yes, as a child, with time I learned. He took the second can out and hammered it and the hairspray got him right in the glasses he had just washed off. The can sprayed all over the place moving around as it sprayed everywhere.
When he entered the staffroom again, he smelt so bad. I couldn’t stop laughing. If only I had it on video! That could have been a new addition to YouTube and got a million hits.

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Other funny stories from this blog 
http://memoirsgaijin.blogspot.ca/

My blog about everyday life (not Japan related)
http://eyethroughtheglass.blogspot.ca/


My Youtube Channel (makes no sense just like my blog)
http://www.youtube.com/user/judoka4eva