Politeness Shomightness!

Politeness Shomightness

By the way if you didn't know shomightness it isn't a word (that I’m aware of), but it’s supposed to mean “politeness meh, who needs it".

Mwa ha ha!

I should assert (or to be more polite& say volunteer) I did learn the different levels of politeness in Japanese while studying at Uni (University). 

I thought everyone’s sentences sounded so poetic. With long sentences with words inserted to caution the blow of changing topics or sharing knowledge that wasn't always positive.
Very similar to the British upper class.

A few stories come to mind to illustrate this point (if I may share them). See that’s politeness!

Allow me to submit to you a story (I’m sounding like British royalty here people).

Onetime as a student, I was on an exchange, and I wanted to go see Koga village (a cool ninja village). The stay in Japan was for 3 weeks. After asking my host-brother many times to go see this historical village, he gracefully informed me the distance to the location I sought after was far, and the time to reach it was great.

I didn't get the hint.

After a few days he told me “Yes. We will go see it in six weeks”. I couldn't comprehend his politeness puzzle laid out before me, for my brain was small, and my puzzle solving skills destitute (it means poor / crappy).

I informed him, “But I will be gone in 3 weeks, so 6 weeks won’t be possible”.

He half smiled out of politeness not wishing to inform me in a way that might hurt my feelings.

Knowing fully well I’d be no place near him or this country he informed me.

“If you are here in 6 weeks, we will go then”.

Haha. I didn't go that time. Eight years later, I went with my wife. He was right that it was far and a real S.O.B (son of a bitch) to get to. Alas, my desire to see it was great, and my dream to reach it overpowering.

Add "please" to anything.

I also remember going to the store and noticing the banana’s weren't in their usual spot. I asked one of the staff where the banana’s were. “In an area located near the back, I will lead you there”. Ok thank you I thought. More graceful.

After not finding them there I’d get the same thing repeated but lead to a new area. I felt like I was being led in circles like a donkey with a carrot infront of my face (only I'm not as smart). So finally I asked, “Sorry, I’m not interested in the dog feces you are feeding me, do you have banana’s or what?”.

Trying to be polite she responded, “The location of the banana’s may not be in this store, however If you could wait, some banana’s will come to their location in an allocated time”. WTF!

I found out later there was a banana shortage in Japan as some diet guru suggested all Japanese women should eat banana’s to stay fit.

In my case I wasn't interested in a diet or staying fit.
I didn't have any cunning plan.

I just wanted a banana because I’m a monkey. 

I was so desperate for a banana I'd work for one too.

If you found anything above amusing or even slightly funny help me out and click one of those boxes above or give me a Google +1 or something. Might come in handy in the future.

My Youtube Channel, wearing red tights and jumping around as Deadpool (but I say Dadpool to avoid copyright. Smarter than I look!)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OUXxArlapy0

Other funny stories from this blog 
http://memoirsgaijin.blogspot.ca/

My blog about everyday life (not Japan related/ and maybe less amusing )
http://eyethroughtheglass.blogspot.ca/ 


My Youtube Channel (makes no sense just like my blog)
http://www.youtube.com/user/judoka4eva

The Tale of the Snow Monkeys

Snow monkeys. Have you ever seen a monkey before? They look kind of human like share the majority of our DNA, but at the same time they are filthy. Covered with hair, poop into their hands and eat it. There is definitely a bit of a missing link between us as species, well at least most of us. Regardless of their imperfection, you can almost see the human in them. Apart from leathery skin, hair and poop, their eyes and gestures sometimes seem like us.

So cute or so I thought at first.

Now Imagine a baby monkey and how cute it is. Change that brown hair to mostly white and that the monkey’s don’t live in a forest canopy and play in a hot spring. Their lives revolve around frolicking in the snow. I wish I could do that.



 
If you can imagine that then you’ve thought of something truly magical in Japan (No, not the magic kingdom in Tokyo, which is cool. Instead of spinning teacups they have spinning sushi, just kidding).
As I mentioned before snow monkeys are very cute, but at the same time you have to take precautions. They are stronger than us and have an attitude when challenged. We were told don’t look directly into the monkey’s eyes as that means you are challenging them. The bigger ones have arms the size of crowbars and can tear a human male in half if they wanted to (in theory anyways). They seemed docile enough as we approached. I looked into the babies eyes. At first I saw his hands that looked so human like except their nails looked painted black and the palms of the hand more leathery.

One angry snow monkey.

One monkey seemed not impressed I was looking at the baby and charged me. I turned my eyes the other way. I saw all the monkeys playing in the hot spring. I thought how cute it was and it seemed like they were having a bath in a jacuzzi together. Then I thought wow this is amazing maybe I can jump in with them and swim around. That cute thought abruptly ended when I saw a mother monkey take a number 2 (aka feces) into the hot spring on her baby. The baby picked it up and ate some, sick! How much DNA do they share with us again?
I saw them running around like dogs a bit and throwing feces at each other, that’s cute I thought, just don’t get any on me.

 

Then I saw two monkeys rolling up a big ball of snow. What the heck are they doing? Then for a brief moment I thought I had a telepathic moment with one of the monkeys, its human eyes staring at me. They were building a snowman? Maybe they could use fecal matter instead of a carrot for a nose. Perhaps I could teach them, the teacher always comes right out of me at the most appropriate times.I guess my telepathic power of persuasion didn’t work because the biggest monkey picked up the ball and threw it on the head of a smaller monkey who now ran away and cried with its hyena cackle. I picked up a snowball myself just in case this monkey wanted to engage in Mortal Kombat. 

The monkey made the right choice and left the second large ball of snow on the ground. Had he chosen to fight me, I would have face washed him. He would have been getting snow out of his nose and mouth for days! Cute, but definitely not the most perfect of god’s creations. Made in our image but not close enough it seems. I still suggest you see them at least once. Heed my advice, don’t stare in their eyes they will either suck you in with their cute looks or cause you to run away screaming like a little girl hoping they won’t kill you. I did a bit of both to be honest.

Don't jump in. Its not clean even though it looks kind of magical.

To see more about snow monkeys see Wikipedia article at 
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Japanese_macaque

If you found anything above amusing or even slightly funny help me out and click one of those boxes above or give me a Google +1 or something. Might come in handy in the future. If only it could make me some money. That would be even nicer!

My Youtube Channel, wearing red tights and jumping around as Deadpool (but I say Dadpool to avoid copyright. Smarter than I look!)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OUXxArlapy0

Other funny stories from this blog 
http://memoirsgaijin.blogspot.ca/

My blog about everyday life (not Japan related)
http://eyethroughtheglass.blogspot.ca/


My Youtube Channel (makes no sense just like my blog)
http://www.youtube.com/user/judoka4eva