Donate If You Enjoyed

Thursday, September 6, 2012

All you can drink, or in my case all you can't drink!

All you can drink, or in my case all you can't drink!
Start with this and see how it goes. In my case all I needed to do was sniff it and I was done.

I always wondered how any company can make money on all you can drink. If you have never heard of it, neither had I until I went to Japan. It came in a few variations.
The cheapest version was watered down drinks called "chuhai" at karaoke joints. It might cost an extra $8 and you’ll get 40% water in your cup. By the time you have 4 drinks you are full of water and don’t want anymore.
The second form comes in the form of hard alcohol or beer at restaurants and or karaoke bars. 

1,000 yen or about $10 bucks for all you can drink for 90 minutes. Wow! Imagine if they had this in U.S. and Canada. It would be the end of the world!!

Usually the price is anywhere from about 1000yen ($10) to about 2500 yen ($25). It seems like a great deal. I always thought that perhaps they should have a separate price for gaijin (foreigners). How can they make money any money on us? In this case, perhaps discrimination is right.
And by the way, us "money on us" in the last sentence, I don’t include myself.
No, I can’t drink worth a damn myself.
During teacher parties after work I would end up being told the party would cost between $50 and $100. I thought OK, its a little expensive so I better get some value out of it. 
It was always all you can eat and all you can drink. If it wasn't, I made it into that situation.
I started off by stuffing my face with whatever I could find. If someone didn't like something or was full I offered to eat it for them (even scraps). By the end of the night, everyone was full and didn’t want the desserts. I’d ran around and eat 10 - 15 desserts. When it was any kind of fruit it was a bonus since fruit was so expensive and I always craved it. I contemplated bringing tupperware a few times. I was like a rat, eating on the leftovers. Perhaps that’s what they thought of me as. A rat. Nice! I might smell like one too. At least I was as hairy as one, according to them.
And, of course not just food but the drinking. I felt like if I was paying that much I better drink till near death. The choices were usually beer or hot sake called "atsukan". Since I’m allergic to beer that wasn’t really an option. Although after a few drinks I’d usually hit it anyway.
If you haven’t ever tried hot sake let me describe it to you. Its like a shock to your system. 
Even one shot can make you feel it. Or in my case, only one sip.
Since I was a gaijin (foreigner), everyone expected me to be able to drink. I didn’t want to let them down, so even though I weighed 130 lbs and I’ve never been a drinker, I gave it a go. Things never went well.

Let me explain that there were three reasons for me to try to drink.
1 Because I am cheap. I’m spending a lot of money so I need value.
2 Because they expected me to drink. I needed to live up to the hype.
3 Because they accepted me more as I drank, or at least I thought they did. There is a saying in Japan, that the only time one should insult their boss is whilst drinking. Maybe I can insult my boss for fun or perhaps my terrible students who I disdain?

On more than one occasion I’d stumble home by foot. Since the ditches were about 6 feet deep I don't know how I never fell in one. Although Nick (who I mentioned in previous stories is a wannabe Gangster / Italian - American, told me he did).
Although I once rode my bike and ran into a boulder, but that’s a story for a different time (next post?).

When I arrived home, if I hadn’t lost my keys I’d knock on the door for my girlfriend to let me in. She probably wanted to scold me (she isn’t Japanese), but she was usually half asleep. I would enter the apartment and if I was lucky only to puke all over the entrance.
I remember onetime being in bed, very comfy and throwing up on the tatami mat (reed mat) floor. Unluckily for me the area I had thrown up on was where the mats joined. The puke seeped through the cracks and it smelt like puke for 3 years! Man, it was gross.
Onetime I remember her asking me only to throw up in the toilet. As she lead me to the bathroom I threw up and I recall her saying “Great, you managed to throw up everywhere except in the toilet”. The bathroom also smelt like puke for 3 years! hhahahah. That’s funny and not funny at the same time. I really did a job on that apartment. I pity the person that took it over from me. Sorry Zack or the person who took it over from him. I'm sure you'll do the same anyways.

Be careful with all you can drink or you might end up like this guy. I almost did! 
A passed out superhero.
If you found anything above amusing or even slightly funny help me out and click one of those boxes above or give me a Google +1 or something. Might come in handy in the future.

Other funny stories from this blog

My blog about everyday life (not Japan related)

My Youtube Channel 
(makes no sense just like my blog)

No comments:

Post a Comment

Blog Directory Top Blog Sites