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Wednesday, November 21, 2012

Train Etiquette and Such

Train Etiquette and Such

You can say that again. I did see some foreigners do this (maybe me too. Little secret!)

You know there are a lot of rules on the train in Japan. Most of them involve behind considerate of others. But let’s get serious, we know foreigners are not going to be considerate and to top it off they are going to walk all over the rules and feign ignorance. I know cause I did it.
I found out a lot of the rules were even written in English. And amazingly most of them I could actually read and make sense of. The odd didn't, but this isn't about that.

A few common rules across any train company.

1) Don’t molest women (That’s probably pretty standard in Japan, in North America we don’t write that one cause its already understood by all, or you go to jail. Not in Japan I guess).
2) Don’t use your cellphone on the train. There are two reasons for this, one most of the signs claim that people who using pacemakers will suddenly keel over dead. If this was the case I think this would be a rule everywhere on the planet. But who knows, I'm no doctor (but I can perform brain surgery if you give me the chance!)
I don’t doubt holding a cellphone directly to your chest at the pacemaker is good, but I would think the people who are using it wouldn't get that close and rub them up (unless they are breaking rule 1 about molesting. I know I did. Kidding!).
The other reason has to do with noise, its an intrusion and burden to everyone else.They can’t escape your phone call and don’t want to hear about your story about feeding your pet chihuahua.
3) Give your seats to the elderly and needy such as pregnant women. For all the people that are kind in Japan, I found this rule to be broken left and right, I noticed the young people who would be wide awake would suddenly close their eyes at a stop when old people got on, then wait till the train started again to open their eyes. Note taken. I'm going to try that next trip.

I was always stressed about sitting around other gaijin (foreigners). I knew very well we were going to be the loudest on the train and everyone around us water to murder us.
One night when my girlfriend, Anthony (infamous from my other stories) and I were coming back on the train we got talked to by a random man. We were our typical selves, laughing saying stupid things and being loud. Anthony was telling some story and this Japanese guy (very nerdy looking) was sweaty heavily and staring directly at us. Finally he said "Shizuka ni shite kuremasu ka?" Can you be quiet for me. Anthony didn't know what he was saying so he continued his story and the guy said it in a higher voice like he was ready to snap. I thought it was funny and giggled, but I told Anthony he wanted us to shut up or he said he would kill us (which he didn't say). We tried to be a little quieter, I looked at the guys face and it looked like he really did want to kill us.
I think he had enough and walked to the next train car, even though I thought we had brought our volume down, apparently not.
I recall one time standing on a train with a bunch of Americans, one guy kept saying the girl standing beside him was super hot and she wanted him. I considered telling him you should be careful of what you say you never know who speaks English or who is even Japanese.
After he went on and on about how he should ask her on a date and for sure she would say yes, she turned directly to us and said “Thanks assh%#les. Enjoy Japan”.
I laughed. He was still convinced she wanted him. I told him he was right, but I lied.
He wasn't the sharpest tool in the shed as they say.

For a while I thought this was a rule. BUST UP!? , wow they are strict. Its actually an advert.
A good one at that.

My Youtube Channel, wearing red tights and jumping around as Deadpool (but I say Dadpool to avoid copyright. Smarter than I look!)

Other funny stories from my blog

My Youtube Channel 
(makes no sense just like my blog) 


  1. Very clever. Call me your girlfriend to make me comment. If I recall correctly, it is your tittering laughter that is girlish. Not that there's anything wrong with that. Girls are lovely. I just prefer them without chest hair. Oh maybe you don't have that.
    -- Anthony (your master)

  2. Hello Master, and by master I mean master of diaster. You know half these stories about me getting in trouble was because of u. I'm OK to call u my g/f if you make these racy comments.
    As for the girlish laugher, deny I cannot, its true. Chest hair too.


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