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Thursday, September 26, 2013

Your Breath Stinks!

Your Breath STINKS!
I guess I could have also added, what else is new?

I tend to brush my teeth after eating in the morning.
My theory behind this is simple. Food gets in your teeth, coffee whatever else. Clean it after its dirty.
I do understand that a lot of people wake up, think "Man my breath stinks" and go to brush their teeth.
My wife is lucky I don't lean over for a kiss each morning. Ha!

Common how bad could it be? Someone sit near me please. 
I want friends too!

Well, I did brush my teeth a lot (not rarely if there are any rumours going around) but it never seemed to help me much in Japan.
I ate so much seafood and fermented food my breath was becoming a bit of a nightmare. By nightmare, I mean like on Elm street (its a reference to a movie if you didn't know). If you don't know look it up.

When I a student in Japan, I lived with a host family that liked to offer me for breakfast the following;
Miso soup with seaweed
Natto (fermented soy beans)
Dry crab (or maybe crap if the translation was correct).
Fish (usually salmon) and jako (small dried fish mixed with peanuts) on rice.
Natto! Well it looks kind of like snot. And the best part, it kind of tastes like it too! Snap!

It was a recipe for disaster. Not only on my bowels, but also on my breath.
I read onetime natto is supposed to clean your G.I tract (stomach). I'm thinking if snot doesn't clear you out, why would heavier snot?

One day, while on the train with my Canadian friend, we were sitting close as the train was busy. Always good if beautiful girls, bad if hairy sweaty guys. I will count my friend as the latter of the two.

"Dude what did you eat for breakfast?", he asked.
"I dunno some seafood and stuff", I answered.
"Your breath stinks. It smells like the ocean", he scowled while covering his mouth.
Which was probably a hint that he wanted me to cover my mouth. Or perhaps put a paper bag over my face. Ideally a plastic bag then it blocks more and then I suffocate, die, and the smell stops.

I thought about it for a minute. I guess I did eat things that would make it stink like the ocean.
Its hard to remove the smell from your teeth and also you can't rub the insides of your stomach with bleach (although some weird people do which I saw on TV, but don't do it). They literally drink bleach and take a bath in it too. Not good for your health FYI.

I asked him what he ate for his breakfast everyday, since I detected a neutral flavour on his breath.
"Toast dude! Why don't you try it? I don't think I can sit beside you. Seriously your breath is unbelievable!". He scowled again.

I continued eating the seafood breakfast almost everyday. I did enjoy cereal when I was offered it, although I always found the milk tasted sour. Seems like people sat closer to me when I ate cereal too, so that was a bonus. Especially if girls and not hairy guys.

One other time when we were on an overnight trip to Hiroshima we shared a room. He asked me when I was going to brush my teeth. I wasn't too sure why he had a keen interest in my teeth brushing activities.
Finally I told him "soon". I left the door partially open and he pushed it and grabbed his toothbrush.
So much for privacy I thought.
"I have a suggestion for you, brush you tongue it might help your breath". I tried, after he mentioned but it was still terrible. He felt the need to go further by stating possibly its not the seafood breakfast I blamed it on and its just my breath.

I always wondered why he didn't want to share a room with me after that. He conveniently didn't take the train with me much anymore either.

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    for a look into the world of the 英会話 (Eikaiwa)

  2. You should use a tongue scraper mate.

    1. Haha thanks I took a look. I've never heard of that but I'm not convinced it will work. I think I need bleach to clean out my insides. ;-)

  3. Wow, that's hellacious. I really hope your breath has improved. On related note, it's always confusing to me whether it's spelled "breath" or "breathe".

    So is it better? Your breath(e)?

    1. Mr.AB a legend. I'm not sure if you are throwing me a subtle hint that I spelled (spelt) it wrong above. Remember the stories are unedited, unclear, and uncut, therefore you never know what my intention is. And neither do I.
      And if my breath/ breathe whatever its spelled is better, I'll say no, but that eating the special breakfast I did, for sure was not helping anything.


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