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Tuesday, May 28, 2013

Fugu The Meal of Death

Fugu FISH and Meal OF DEATH

If you live through the meal, you are lucky. Always worth putting your life at risk!

If you've ever seen that Simpsons episode where Homer eats Fugu or Blowfish in Japan, its pretty funny and unfortunately true. You can die from eating it.

To increase my chances of dying I managed to eat it twice.
You see the neurotoxin attacks your brain. Luckily for me, I am immune as I have no brain.

Mama always told me I wasn't the sharpest tool in the shed. For once I'm lucky.

Usually people die at home, as it needs to be cut precisely correct, or the toxin will mess with your everything.

Some brave people decide to try to cut it themselves, roll the dice and end up with snake eyes (I've always wanted to say that but I'm not sure what it means). Actually lets just go with “They play Russian roulette and lose.”

It's OK there is at least one spot you can cut and not die!

At a restaurant you will pay a pretty penny to stay alive by eating Fugu prepared by a certified chef. I'm not sure it’s worth it myself. Any chump on the street should be able to cut it, I mean come on how hard can it be?

My host family brought me out twice and paid (bonus).

I was eating the salad which seemed to have some sort of soft veggie on it when my host brother asked me “Does your mouth feel numb?”. What does that mean?
He explained that the salad contained the skin of the Fugu. WTF? I read online the skin is also super toxic. “Ya just enough poison to cause a little fun”. And by fun did he mean melt my brain? Nullify my lungs from moving? Great.
I though I was going to die. I considered writing my will as I took each bite.
We had Fugu soup, Fugu chunks, Fugu everything.
Finally dessert came, it looked good, something that had been roasted in the oven. My host brother ordered me one, and started giggling like a schoolgirl. Why so funny I thought? The dessert tasted a bit salty. Perhaps Fugu for dessert too, hopefully not liver dessert.
“How’s your dessert?”, he asked with a grin.
“Strangely salty”, I answered.
“Fish sperm”, he answered.
“Seriously?”, I queried
“Yup”, he answered.
“F%$ you”, I responded.
And then I spat up the rest of the single serve of $30 dessert onto my plate.

PS You might want to learn the word "Shirako" which means fish sperm. When your friends ask if you want to try. Answer "Hell's No!"

I humbly inform you, you have 5 minutes to live. By the way, you might as well enjoy some fish sperm, it's delicious.

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