Obama's Erection Very Big!

Obama’s election as its so called. Or as the Japanese like to call it something a bit different.

In this case I got you covered Obama. I don't know for sure but I will take the Japanese peoples word for it. No need for inspection.

As you know that statistically if everyone in a class makes the same mistake it cannot be duplicated unless they are copying each other or don't know the answer. Probably, if you ran the test a hundred times in Canada there is no way the results would ever be the same, but in Japan, alas, its possible to always be the same. The joy of Japanese language (katakana and gairaigo) poisoning English. Katakana is an alphabet to Japanize foreign load words and gairaigo is words in Japanese taken from other languages. If you have any Japanese friends you are well aware of this fact. If you have ever seen a T-shirt that makes no sense, there is a good chance it was made in Japan.

Watch out for the bacteria pot monsters, they might get you with their delicacies. 

I wasn't sure which if people were copying or no one knew the answers when I marked my students tests. I noticed that they were the same repeat mistakes and tended to be with words that had a pronunciation in Japanese and had been “Japanized”. I couldn't understand how every student could write suriipee (Sue-Re-Pee) for sleepy or mirk (Merk) for milk. I knew already everyone said the word the same way and that it was wrong, no matter how many times I taught it. It was like taking blood from a stone to get them to change it, aka Mission Impossible. 
There were always mistakes with L’s and R’s. In Japanese L's sound somewhere inbetween but closer to R. There are no L’s in the Japanese language. Most people replaced any English word that has an L with an R which causes endless mistakes. Check out the website at the end to see some examples, hilarious. Since this topic is occurring again in the news right now let me tell you a topic you should never discuss with Japanese people, “Elections”. You see as everyone in United States is watching Obama’s election, the Japanese are watching Obama’s erection. “Big!!  Very very big, I like (rike) to watch”, my friends would repeat.“Everyone likes (rikes) Obama, big big erection!”. I didn't know if I should correct them. I would giggle. More than one friend “Do you like (raike) Obama’s erection?”. Um, uhhhh, uhhh, how should I answer.“I'm not American, so I don’t really care who it is as long as its not Bush, he’s not the sharpest tool in the shed", I answered.“But what about Obama erection? Isn't it nice? Its very big in America”. Again I didn't know how to answer or how should I clarify I didn't know the results of their actual question. I finally gave in to the trap “Yes, Obama’s election is big”. Their response “So Myles likes (rikes) Obama’s erection?”. “Yes”, I answered with my head down.

Hey this one applies to Obama. Don't play games with a hard on.  Or leave a dog in the ark. 

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Other funny stories from this blog 
http://memoirsgaijin.blogspot.ca/

My blog about everyday life (not Japan related)
http://eyethroughtheglass.blogspot.ca/


My Youtube Channel (makes no sense just like my blog)
http://www.youtube.com/user/judoka4eva

If you have never heard of this, check it out. Engrish .com. Lots of examples of the power of incorrect English. Highly entertaining.
http://engrish.com/

All you can drink, or in my case all you can't drink!

All you can drink, or in my case all you can't drink!

Start with this and see how it goes. In my case all I needed to do was sniff it and I was done.

I always wondered how any company can make money on all you can drink. If you have never heard of it, neither had I until I went to Japan. It came in a few variations.
The cheapest version was watered down drinks called "chuhai" at karaoke joints. It might cost an extra $8 and you’ll get 40% water in your cup. By the time you have 4 drinks you are full of water and don’t want anymore.
The second form comes in the form of hard alcohol or beer at restaurants and or karaoke bars. 

1,000 yen or about $10 bucks for all you can drink for 90 minutes. Wow! Imagine if they had this in U.S. and Canada. It would be the end of the world!!

Usually the price is anywhere from about 1000yen ($10) to about 2500 yen ($25). It seems like a great deal. I always thought that perhaps they should have a separate price for gaijin (foreigners). How can they make money any money on us? In this case, perhaps discrimination is right.
And by the way, us "money on us" in the last sentence, I don’t include myself.
No, I can’t drink worth a damn myself.
During teacher parties after work I would end up being told the party would cost between $50 and $100. I thought OK, its a little expensive so I better get some value out of it. 
It was always all you can eat and all you can drink. If it wasn't, I made it into that situation.
I started off by stuffing my face with whatever I could find. If someone didn't like something or was full I offered to eat it for them (even scraps). By the end of the night, everyone was full and didn’t want the desserts. I’d ran around and eat 10 - 15 desserts. When it was any kind of fruit it was a bonus since fruit was so expensive and I always craved it. I contemplated bringing tupperware a few times. I was like a rat, eating on the leftovers. Perhaps that’s what they thought of me as. A rat. Nice! I might smell like one too. At least I was as hairy as one, according to them.
And, of course not just food but the drinking. I felt like if I was paying that much I better drink till near death. The choices were usually beer or hot sake called "atsukan". Since I’m allergic to beer that wasn’t really an option. Although after a few drinks I’d usually hit it anyway.
If you haven’t ever tried hot sake let me describe it to you. Its like a shock to your system. 
Even one shot can make you feel it. Or in my case, only one sip.
Since I was a gaijin (foreigner), everyone expected me to be able to drink. I didn’t want to let them down, so even though I weighed 130 lbs and I’ve never been a drinker, I gave it a go. Things never went well.

Let me explain that there were three reasons for me to try to drink.
1 Because I am cheap. I’m spending a lot of money so I need value.
2 Because they expected me to drink. I needed to live up to the hype.
3 Because they accepted me more as I drank, or at least I thought they did. There is a saying in Japan, that the only time one should insult their boss is whilst drinking. Maybe I can insult my boss for fun or perhaps my terrible students who I disdain?

On more than one occasion I’d stumble home by foot. Since the ditches were about 6 feet deep I don't know how I never fell in one. Although Nick (who I mentioned in previous stories is a wannabe Gangster / Italian - American, told me he did).
Although I once rode my bike and ran into a boulder, but that’s a story for a different time (next post?).

When I arrived home, if I hadn’t lost my keys I’d knock on the door for my girlfriend to let me in. She probably wanted to scold me (she isn’t Japanese), but she was usually half asleep. I would enter the apartment and if I was lucky only to puke all over the entrance.
I remember onetime being in bed, very comfy and throwing up on the tatami mat (reed mat) floor. Unluckily for me the area I had thrown up on was where the mats joined. The puke seeped through the cracks and it smelt like puke for 3 years! Man, it was gross.
Onetime I remember her asking me only to throw up in the toilet. As she lead me to the bathroom I threw up and I recall her saying “Great, you managed to throw up everywhere except in the toilet”. The bathroom also smelt like puke for 3 years! hhahahah. That’s funny and not funny at the same time. I really did a job on that apartment. I pity the person that took it over from me. Sorry Zack or the person who took it over from him. I'm sure you'll do the same anyways.

Be careful with all you can drink or you might end up like this guy. I almost did! 
A passed out superhero.

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Other funny stories from this blog 
http://memoirsgaijin.blogspot.ca/

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Hello Mr.Sparkle this way please

 Hello Mr.Sparkle

My childhood dream to become Mr.Sparkle came true, kind of.

We used to go to conveyor belt sushi a lot. You know the one where there is a small conveyor belt and the sushi is on a plate and goes around. You grab the plate and help yourself. Then the waitress adds the number of plates to determine how much the bill is.

If you have the balls. Hide the sushi plates under your table so they can't count them.

 
Anyways I totally loved it, how can’t you. We started going regularly with our group of gaijin (foreign friends). I would imagine I probably went over my dosage of mercury poisoning (tuna) but no long term health effects that I’m aware of (except for my brain, which my wife keeps telling me must be damaged).
This place I fancied was super cheap, only 100 yen (1$) a plate. Due to the incredibly good deal, half of the town seemed to have the same idea about coming. There was a wait list to write your own name.
I always liked the episode of the Simpsons where Homer finds the box with his face on it. Its a cleaning solution that has Japanese written on it. It says “Mr.Sparkle”. If you don't know it, its funny, watch it. 
I thought it was funny so on the wait list at the restaurant I would write it exactly that way “MISUTAA SUPARKORU” aka Mr. Sparkle. Most people would write their family names, and then the waitress would add “san” which is honorific for Mr or Mrs to each name.
In my case I didn't want the “san” I wanted MR / MISUTAA. I was excited and didn't tell the other foreigners I had written our group name as Mr.Sparkle. 
I was waiting for the trigger to be pulled. They would announce it the P.A. system and everyone would hear. I giggled like a little girl in anticipation. I think my friends thought I was high. If only....
To my dismay the waitress came forward and said the seat was ready.
My only hope of recovery from this was if I asked her to confirm the name out loud. She whispered quietly “Sparkle san”. F!!!!!! Complete FAIL.
I was kind of bummed about that so in the future I tried writing variations. Onetime I  wrote Mr. Gaijin (foreigner). They never said it. I tried Mr.TANAKA and one of them must have been watching me write it. They would lead us to the seat directly without an announcement.
I was disappointed at their non attempts to amuse me. I was tempted to hide some of my plates under the table so she couldn't count them. Or better yet, I should have left the empty plate on the belt and just take the sushi! Hahaha.
I didn't do it. I feared I’d be banned and also because I'm a wimp.

They also sell T-shirts of this online now. I guess its not only my childhood dream.

If you found anything above amusing or even slightly funny help me out and click one of those boxes above or give me a Google +1 or something. Might come in handy in the future.

Other funny stories from this blog 
http://memoirsgaijin.blogspot.ca/

My blog about everyday life (not Japan related)
http://eyethroughtheglass.blogspot.ca/


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Disillusionment Road: The Road to Sucksville

After a long day and then night in Kyoto I decided to head home.
As you recall from my other thirty blogposts I lived in a prefecture beside Kyoto, called Shiga.
Everyone knows Kyoto. Its one of the main cities in Japan, full of temples, shrines and Geisha (not prostitutes fyi and its pronounced GAY SHAH).

Kyoto, the city of awesome. If only I lived there instead of mosquito laced rice fields.

The capital of my prefecture was only fifteen minutes away by train, but unfortunately for me, I lived on the opposite side of the prefecture in the most countryside area possible ( just mosquitoes and rice fields).
This means if I wanted to get home I had to get the last train which went around 11PM from Kyoto to take these tacky subway lines to get to the main JR National train line.
Now, I may or may not have been drinking that night. If it incriminates me in anyway lets say I wasn't (but I was).
So my math may have been a bit off. I thought OK its 11:15 PM now, so I should be able to make it. Since I had worked it out onetime that the latest I could ever leave was 11PM while sober, I was probably making the wrong decision. This seems to be a reoccurring theme in my life.
I fell asleep on the train (that's what alcohol does to people, although I may not have been drinking remember). I heard an announcement in Japanese stating that this was the last stop for the night. I was like perfect I'm home. My stop happened to be the last stop on the line for two years. My third year they extended the railway line and I got screwed over a few times (maybe other blog story?).
To my dismay I had arrived in Maibara city. The characters of Maibara means "rice fields" and that's all it is. Its the middle of nothing, its total sucksville! The only thing significant at all about it is that it is the only stop for some shikansen "bullet trains" in Shiga prefecture. In a nutshell, it sucks.
I guess this last train was only to Maibara for people wanting to take the bullet train.

Welcome to Maibara the station in the middle of rice fields, or as I call it, the place of suck.

So I had arrived at a place that sucks at 1215AM. I checked the list of trains. Everything had stopped except a bullet train to Tokyo. Hmmm.... might be fun I thought. Nah, I want to get home.
I had driven it a few times and it wasn't that far, only about 20 minutes by car. By foot shouldn't be that much different.
I looked at the train line map. Its only six stops I thought. How far could it be to walk? Surely not far.
Stupidity seemed to be my motto that day (and perhaps one might say other days as well).
It was a hell of a lot farther than expected.
Well that would be an understatement. To be precise let me tell u what googlemaps says. It quotes the walk as 8.5 km. 8.5 km doesn't seem like much but in the dark, trying to follow a train track, but let me assure you its very far.
Not to mention the inability to walk in a straight line (as I may or may not have been drinking).
I considered taking a taxi but the last time I did that that we had missed the last train and split the cost between four people. It was about $50.
I started my walk. My muscles were pretty sore and I hadn't had a drink since Kyoto (maybe). All the street lights seemed to stop as I got to the outskirts of town. I tried to use my cellphone as a flashlight, but it sucked.
I saw a few fireflies but the light they emitted was useless.
I'll never understand why in movies they make them seem like they can light up the dark path and you don't need flashlights, its all fantasy.
I followed the track as best I could, since I knew the track would reach a place near my house at some point.
I figured since its the last train, I'll only need to watch out for super high speed trains like the bullet train. I can just dodge them if they come (I am half Ninja afterall). I remembered reading something about the train tracks being electrified. I did my best not to stand on the track but beside it. I wondered if I should lay some pennies on the track to see them get flattened. That's always fun, at least when you are five years old. Or better yet, stick my ear to the track to hear when the next train is coming. But I worried I might sleep while I'm down there.
Two hours past and the train track seemed to vanish from view. I decided to stick to the roads.
I think I may have walked in circle for a bit. My girlfriend asked me where I was. I was honest, I told her I didn't know. For once it was no lie.
I started to run cause I thought it was getting a bit ridiculous at this point. I stopped seeing cars for a while. I wondered if no one drives at 230 AM or I had just gone the wrong way.
After three and one half hours I arrived home. My legs were sore as hell and I was covered in sweat from running.
I checked Googlemaps. It claimed the trip should only take 20 minutes by car or just under two hours walking. F! I must have walked in circles or something since that was over 2 hours.
I regretted not just paying the $50 for the taxi.

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Other funny stories from this blog 
http://memoirsgaijin.blogspot.ca/

My blog about everyday life (not Japan related)
http://eyethroughtheglass.blogspot.ca/


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Sticky Hair, Burning Stomach, Perfect Combo

One day I was sitting in my condo watching Japanese TV.
My girlfriend used to always say, “I don’t like to leave you alone, because every time I do you come up with stupid ideas”. If I ever gave her lip and asked for an example she would make me a list (which were always true). Most of the things I came up with I thought were smart at the time, but once I did them I realized they were daft mistakes.

Don't fall. Use those muscles. At least he has a spotter.

One time I heard if you put coke in your hair, it will dye it naturally. Seemed like a good idea, but my hair got all sticky and the coke dripped from my hair all over the floor. Our condo was sticky for months. I remember her on her hands and knees more than once scrubbing (sorry).
Another time I thought it was a good idea to put a door hanger on my outside door that said my name in Japanese. Only the thing was I didn’t use the alphabet for foreign loan words for my name (called katakana). I used hiragana, which is a native Japanese alphabet only for Japanese words. I didn’t realize that my name could have a separate meaning in Japanese. We stopped getting mail from the post for a while. I couldn't figure out why until a Japanese friend mentioned that my door said I was never home. I said what do you mean? That’s my name. He said but you used hiragana, so they would think you are leaving them a message, “I'm never home”. That was dumb, at least inadvertently. At least my vocabulary was expanding.
My next ingenious idea came to me while watching TV. Infomercials always suck me in. I never buy anything from them, but if I think its a good idea I go do it. If they have an infomercial on organic honey, I’ll go buy the cheapest honey I could and drink a litre of it. I do remember one time them talking about the benefits of honey, saying it has magic healing powers and been used since the time of the ancient Pharaohs. I'm not sure this counts as well for the cheap stuff which is just basically glue mixed with sugar. But it tastes good at least.
This one particular day as my girlfriend was out, there was an infomercial on garlic. To be precise it was on garlic pills. They were explaining how good garlic is for you and that it has magical healing qualities. It also kills bacteria and is good for circulation. Each bottle of pills was about $80 (8000 yen). The advantage over eating garlic cloves was there wouldn't be an issue with the smell. Fair enough, but not worth the $80 to me. I'm frugal and that's a waste of money, so I kept thinking of an alternative cheap way to do it.
I came up with a great idea (I thought at the time). I would eat raw garlic cloves. And by garlic cloves I meant two full bulbs. I also did this on an empty stomach. More power of the magical qualities I thought. If you know me, you know I have a weak stomach, so this was perhaps not the smartest plan for me, nonetheless I decided to see it through.
I ate two bulbs (heads) of garlic. Yes, it burnt a bit as it went down. My tongue tasted a bit fiery.
I enjoyed the rest of the infomercial and thought about all the health benefits I was about to have happen to me. As my Japanese friends used to use the odd Japanese-English expression “It’s enjoy”. So "its enjoy" I did.
About an hour later, I felt like I had eaten battery acid. My stomach felt like it was turning inside out. The timing was perfect because my girlfriend had arrived home as I was moaning in pain. “What did you do this time?” she asked. I told the story as I moaned like a little girl (what else is new). Suddenly as if a thousand needles shot into my stomach & esophagus at once, I could feel my stomach twisting in revolution (or perhaps revelation). I ran for the bathroom and out came my cloves of garlic, in a slightly acidic form. The smell was terrible. It was even worse when the vomit came out my nose. It burned like a jalapeño pepper! I laughed and vomited at the same time. It was like riding the teacups at Disneyland for the first time, but on steroids.
As the pain from my stupidity halted my girlfriend decided to end with her two cents. 
“So what did you learn?”, she asked.
“I guess next time I should eat something before eating raw cloves I guess”, I answered.

Go! You should be OK. Don't do the splits though.

If you found anything above amusing or even slightly funny help me out and click one of those boxes above or give me a Google +1 or something. Might come in handy in the future.

Other funny stories from this blog 
http://memoirsgaijin.blogspot.ca/

My blog about everyday life (not Japan related)
http://eyethroughtheglass.blogspot.ca/


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You Never Know What You're Gonna Get

You Never Know What You're Gonna Get
Surprise meat for lunch today, Come get it!

Sometimes its normal, sometimes its not. Life is like a box of chocolates. Just make sure its very sugary please.

As Forrest Gump says “Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you’re going to get”. However in my case I’d have to rephrase that for the box lunch at school “You never know what you’re going to get”. I prayed I wouldn’t eat anything too extreme like barnacles. Hard on the teeth, like the ultimate rock candy.
At each school a lunch (called kyushoku) is prepared for you each day. Usually it consisted of a soup (corn or enoki mushroom), a carbohydrate (like bread or rice) and a dessert (yoghurt or jello called zeri "ZEH RII"). It usually had one meat as a main that rotated. It was hit and miss with vegetables. At least no asparagus! Score. I think I'm still a kid at heart.
All the books that prepare the JET English Teachers say “While we can’t force you, we suggest you eat the school lunch provided. This gives you a chance to interact with teachers, students and eat some foods that are an important part of Japanese culture”. As far as I could recall, Japanese foods don't contain cat or dog meat so I thought I’d probably be OK.
After a while I started to recognize some lunch foods repeating. My least favorite was bread and a condiment package. The package was made so that if you push it together both sides would squirt out. The problem was it was jam in one package and a kind of mayonnaise ish butter in the other side. I hated it. I usually spent a few minutes trying to carefully squirt only the jam while the white sauce would spray me in the face or all over my desk. Oh the joy of eating at your own desk. On days when school lunch wasn’t available in the summer, we would bring our own lunches. My desk would get stained with sushi, soy sauce, pasta sauce. You name it I probably had streaks of it on my desk. A dog would have loved my desk. The ultimate rainbow of flavours and smells.
I don’t consider myself a big eater by any means, but by my third year I sat across from this gigantic Judo teacher. He probably weighed about 300 pounds approx 140 KG. He was one big dude! His friend which happened to be his size would later break my ribs in Judo by falling on me (let’s keep that for another blogpost). You are a jerk by the way if you are reading this.

The guy ate two of these a day. Talk about carbo loading.

Anyways, he always ate a lot for lunch as you can imagine. How else can you maintain that kind of weight. When I would looked around I’d see all the other teachers eat half as much as him. He’d always go back for second helpings of anything that was left. I even once saw him just eat the jam package without any bread. He just squeezed it into his mouth, gross! Jam mixing with that terrible white cream of mayo butter. It was obesity to the extreme.

He was a big boy. We should have eaten him instead of what we ate.

I usually got a big helping as well. I’m not sure if they thought I was a big eater (and weighed only 130 pounds) or if they thought I was supplementing my other meals by making my lunch my biggest meal since it was free. That part was somewhat true. Always trying to save money.
One time we had some sort of beef looking meat, kind of black. I asked what it was. “Kujira”, they answered. I thought haha funny, we are really going to eat whale for lunch. As if there is enough whale to supply every school in this prefecture with whale. That would be a lot of whale. Half the world’s oceans would be depleted of whale. Wait, that has already happened.
I sat down and started to eat. The beef tasted a bit off I thought. Its beefy but with a little bit more rubbery taste. I washed it down with some milk (probably not a good idea. That’s usually a recipe for diarrhea).
Afterwards I was on our Gaijin (Foreign) community forum that I saw that some people had written “Be careful with lunch today, its whale. Don’t eat it”. Oh crap, maybe it really was I thought. Maybe it wasn’t a joke? Come to think of it, I had never tasted beef so rubbery and the colour of the meat was kind of dark. I looked on the food calendar that was on the wall. Naturally there was a cute child’s drawn picture of a whale on that day. That’s nice, make the whale all cute then eat it. That’s like saying it's Easter and giving out eggs, oh and just so you know we ate the rabbit that made those chocolate goodies.
I ate crab brains a few times too. I thought it just happened to be crab that they had put back into the topshell. Later one of the teachers said to me “How’s the brain? Most foreigners that have been at the school don’t eat that”. Crap! I had been eating brain for two years.
Oh well, I hoped that motto “You are what you eat” might come true.
I hoped I hadn’t been eating any feces and didn’t know it.

Oh boy. No comment.

If you found anything above amusing or even slightly funny help me out and click one of those boxes above or give me a Google +1 or something. Might come in handy in the future.

Other funny stories from this blog 
http://memoirsgaijin.blogspot.ca/

My blog about everyday life (not Japan related)
http://eyethroughtheglass.blogspot.ca/


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Kendo, it stinks! Literally!

 Kendo, it stinks! Literally!

To make it more interesting let's use live metal blades and no padding. Now, that would show who is the Last Samurai!

If you’ve ever seen The Last Samurai, you probably thought sword fighting is the coolest thing ever. Little boys no matter what country use sticks, brooms and pens to battle each other. I was never that good at it as a kid. I used to get hit, so I’d run and throw my sword or in this case my stick at them.
The moto “stand and fight” never stuck well with me, I always prefered “flee like a wimp and throw things”. Hope to live another day.
Regardless I thought THE LAST SAMURAI was so cool, Tom Cruise with his Scientology and their aliens that made the earth storyline. Oh wait! Sorry that’s real life.
I can’t deny he was very cool with his damn swords and training as a Samurai.
In Japan though, you can’t really train with real swords (for fear of cutting each other in half), although to be honest that would be pretty cool. Imagine seeing people practicing and they are like “Oh dude, wait wait, I cut your arm in half”. It would be like a scene from Monty Python Holy Grail.
Kendo is pretty much the closest thing to real swords, but its done with wooden swords (called shinai in Japanese). I always thought, if I get the chance I’d like to see someone do it. As its kind of like make believe being a samurai. That being said if you have ever been unlucky enough to watch Kendo before, you already know what I'm going to write about.
One of our school students was in a tournament on a country wide sports day. Since he was the only one from our school, he was unique at the tourney with no support. I went to go see him with the vice principal to give him a cheerleader. I thought it was also a chance to see some Tom Cruise like battles fighting to the death albeit with wooden swords.
Just prior to walking into the gym the Vice principal said to me, "Get ready for it, as soon as we walk in a very special smell".
I was thinking WTF does that mean! Then as we walked in I understood. The putrid smell of stinky, salty sweat! It was overwhelming to the point of almost throwing up. It was a horrible horrid smell. Let's called it the HH horrible horrid smell. 
He informed me that after a short time I would get used to it. I was thinking whatever time short is determined to be is going to be too long. He told me it was even strong for him and he was used to it, since he taught Kendo near his house. I guess because they have armour on, they sweat profusely underneath the armour. He said they could wash the gi (marital arts clothes) part of the cloth, but not the rest. Remind me not to do Kendo, unless I have a severe nose cold or a clothespin on my nose.

That's what my girlfriend always says. It might be a good thing in some ways. As long as it doesn't smell as bad as Kendo.

I always pictured Kendo just like in the movies with these huge cuts and slashes. To my disbelief they have only have 3 cuts (swings) in Kendo, that I’m aware of. Hmm, so much for surprise. Not that I should talk, I’d run as soon as someone started slashing.
After seeing each of the cuts I kept thinking wow, these small little movements are kind of boring. You can’t even tell if someone cut the wrist for the point or not. Too bad it wasn’t live blades, at least it would be more exciting. I contemplated going up to someones sword when there weren't looking and putting a metal tip on it.
It was so boring and I had to watch it for 3 hours. I realized at that point I should have chosen a more interesting sport to watch like golf. By the way, to the people who find golf interesting, I'm not even sure that counts as a sport. You don't even break a sweat.
I started to fall asleep and the teacher said, "Let's go, I've had enough of this". You could say that I again. I had enough of it  times 100! Once we exited the building I inhaled fresh air, it was nice, until we got to his old truck and the smell of gasoline and smoke made me sick again.

Sometimes you can't win!

If you found anything above amusing or even slightly funny help me out and click one of those boxes above or give me a Google +1 or something. Might come in handy in the future. If only it could make me some money.

My Youtube Channel, wearing red tights and jumping around as Deadpool (but I say Dadpool to avoid copyright. Smarter than I look!)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OUXxArlapy0

Other funny stories from this blog 
http://memoirsgaijin.blogspot.ca/

My blog about everyday life (not Japan related)
http://eyethroughtheglass.blogspot.ca/


My Youtube Channel (makes no sense just like my blog)
http://www.youtube.com/user/judoka4eva