Train Etiquette and Such

Train Etiquette and Such

You can say that again. I did see some foreigners do this (maybe me too. Little secret!)

You know there are a lot of rules on the train in Japan. Most of them involve behind considerate of others. But let’s get serious, we know foreigners are not going to be considerate and to top it off they are going to walk all over the rules and feign ignorance. I know cause I did it.
I found out a lot of the rules were even written in English. And amazingly most of them I could actually read and make sense of. The odd didn't, but this isn't about that.

A few common rules across any train company.

1) Don’t molest women (That’s probably pretty standard in Japan, in North America we don’t write that one cause its already understood by all, or you go to jail. Not in Japan I guess).
2) Don’t use your cellphone on the train. There are two reasons for this, one most of the signs claim that people who using pacemakers will suddenly keel over dead. If this was the case I think this would be a rule everywhere on the planet. But who knows, I'm no doctor (but I can perform brain surgery if you give me the chance!)
I don’t doubt holding a cellphone directly to your chest at the pacemaker is good, but I would think the people who are using it wouldn't get that close and rub them up (unless they are breaking rule 1 about molesting. I know I did. Kidding!).
The other reason has to do with noise, its an intrusion and burden to everyone else.They can’t escape your phone call and don’t want to hear about your story about feeding your pet chihuahua.
3) Give your seats to the elderly and needy such as pregnant women. For all the people that are kind in Japan, I found this rule to be broken left and right, I noticed the young people who would be wide awake would suddenly close their eyes at a stop when old people got on, then wait till the train started again to open their eyes. Note taken. I'm going to try that next trip.

I was always stressed about sitting around other gaijin (foreigners). I knew very well we were going to be the loudest on the train and everyone around us water to murder us.
One night when my girlfriend, Anthony (infamous from my other stories) and I were coming back on the train we got talked to by a random man. We were our typical selves, laughing saying stupid things and being loud. Anthony was telling some story and this Japanese guy (very nerdy looking) was sweaty heavily and staring directly at us. Finally he said "Shizuka ni shite kuremasu ka?" Can you be quiet for me. Anthony didn't know what he was saying so he continued his story and the guy said it in a higher voice like he was ready to snap. I thought it was funny and giggled, but I told Anthony he wanted us to shut up or he said he would kill us (which he didn't say). We tried to be a little quieter, I looked at the guys face and it looked like he really did want to kill us.
I think he had enough and walked to the next train car, even though I thought we had brought our volume down, apparently not.
I recall one time standing on a train with a bunch of Americans, one guy kept saying the girl standing beside him was super hot and she wanted him. I considered telling him you should be careful of what you say you never know who speaks English or who is even Japanese.
After he went on and on about how he should ask her on a date and for sure she would say yes, she turned directly to us and said “Thanks assh%#les. Enjoy Japan”.
I laughed. He was still convinced she wanted him. I told him he was right, but I lied.
He wasn't the sharpest tool in the shed as they say.

For a while I thought this was a rule. BUST UP!? , wow they are strict. Its actually an advert.
A good one at that.

My Youtube Channel, wearing red tights and jumping around as Deadpool (but I say Dadpool to avoid copyright. Smarter than I look!)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OUXxArlapy0

Other funny stories from my blog
 http://memoirsgaijin.blogspot.ca/


My Youtube Channel (makes no sense just like my blog)
http://www.youtube.com/user/judoka4eva 

Disillusionment Road: The Road to Sucksville

After a long day and then night in Kyoto I decided to head home.
As you recall from my other thirty blogposts I lived in a prefecture beside Kyoto, called Shiga.
Everyone knows Kyoto. Its one of the main cities in Japan, full of temples, shrines and Geisha (not prostitutes fyi and its pronounced GAY SHAH).

Kyoto, the city of awesome. If only I lived there instead of mosquito laced rice fields.

The capital of my prefecture was only fifteen minutes away by train, but unfortunately for me, I lived on the opposite side of the prefecture in the most countryside area possible ( just mosquitoes and rice fields).
This means if I wanted to get home I had to get the last train which went around 11PM from Kyoto to take these tacky subway lines to get to the main JR National train line.
Now, I may or may not have been drinking that night. If it incriminates me in anyway lets say I wasn't (but I was).
So my math may have been a bit off. I thought OK its 11:15 PM now, so I should be able to make it. Since I had worked it out onetime that the latest I could ever leave was 11PM while sober, I was probably making the wrong decision. This seems to be a reoccurring theme in my life.
I fell asleep on the train (that's what alcohol does to people, although I may not have been drinking remember). I heard an announcement in Japanese stating that this was the last stop for the night. I was like perfect I'm home. My stop happened to be the last stop on the line for two years. My third year they extended the railway line and I got screwed over a few times (maybe other blog story?).
To my dismay I had arrived in Maibara city. The characters of Maibara means "rice fields" and that's all it is. Its the middle of nothing, its total sucksville! The only thing significant at all about it is that it is the only stop for some shikansen "bullet trains" in Shiga prefecture. In a nutshell, it sucks.
I guess this last train was only to Maibara for people wanting to take the bullet train.

Welcome to Maibara the station in the middle of rice fields, or as I call it, the place of suck.

So I had arrived at a place that sucks at 1215AM. I checked the list of trains. Everything had stopped except a bullet train to Tokyo. Hmmm.... might be fun I thought. Nah, I want to get home.
I had driven it a few times and it wasn't that far, only about 20 minutes by car. By foot shouldn't be that much different.
I looked at the train line map. Its only six stops I thought. How far could it be to walk? Surely not far.
Stupidity seemed to be my motto that day (and perhaps one might say other days as well).
It was a hell of a lot farther than expected.
Well that would be an understatement. To be precise let me tell u what googlemaps says. It quotes the walk as 8.5 km. 8.5 km doesn't seem like much but in the dark, trying to follow a train track, but let me assure you its very far.
Not to mention the inability to walk in a straight line (as I may or may not have been drinking).
I considered taking a taxi but the last time I did that that we had missed the last train and split the cost between four people. It was about $50.
I started my walk. My muscles were pretty sore and I hadn't had a drink since Kyoto (maybe). All the street lights seemed to stop as I got to the outskirts of town. I tried to use my cellphone as a flashlight, but it sucked.
I saw a few fireflies but the light they emitted was useless.
I'll never understand why in movies they make them seem like they can light up the dark path and you don't need flashlights, its all fantasy.
I followed the track as best I could, since I knew the track would reach a place near my house at some point.
I figured since its the last train, I'll only need to watch out for super high speed trains like the bullet train. I can just dodge them if they come (I am half Ninja afterall). I remembered reading something about the train tracks being electrified. I did my best not to stand on the track but beside it. I wondered if I should lay some pennies on the track to see them get flattened. That's always fun, at least when you are five years old. Or better yet, stick my ear to the track to hear when the next train is coming. But I worried I might sleep while I'm down there.
Two hours past and the train track seemed to vanish from view. I decided to stick to the roads.
I think I may have walked in circle for a bit. My girlfriend asked me where I was. I was honest, I told her I didn't know. For once it was no lie.
I started to run cause I thought it was getting a bit ridiculous at this point. I stopped seeing cars for a while. I wondered if no one drives at 230 AM or I had just gone the wrong way.
After three and one half hours I arrived home. My legs were sore as hell and I was covered in sweat from running.
I checked Googlemaps. It claimed the trip should only take 20 minutes by car or just under two hours walking. F! I must have walked in circles or something since that was over 2 hours.
I regretted not just paying the $50 for the taxi.

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Other funny stories from this blog 
http://memoirsgaijin.blogspot.ca/

My blog about everyday life (not Japan related)
http://eyethroughtheglass.blogspot.ca/


My Youtube Channel (makes no sense just like my blog)
http://www.youtube.com/user/judoka4eva