Fugu The Meal of Death

Fugu FISH and Meal OF DEATH

If you live through the meal, you are lucky. Always worth putting your life at risk!

If you've ever seen that Simpsons episode where Homer eats Fugu or Blowfish in Japan, its pretty funny and unfortunately true. You can die from eating it.

To increase my chances of dying I managed to eat it twice.

You see the neurotoxin attacks your brain. Luckily for me, I am immune as I have no brain.

Mama always told me I wasn't the sharpest tool in the shed. For once I'm lucky.

Usually people die at home, as it needs to be cut precisely correct, or the toxin will mess with your everything.

Some brave people decide to try to cut it themselves, roll the dice and end up with snake eyes (I've always wanted to say that but I'm not sure what it means). Actually lets just go with “They play Russian roulette and lose.”

It's OK there is at least one spot you can cut and not die!

At a restaurant you will pay a pretty penny to stay alive by eating Fugu prepared by a certified chef. I'm not sure it’s worth it myself. Any chump on the street should be able to cut it, I mean come on how hard can it be?

Anyways…

My host family brought me out twice and paid (bonus).

I was eating the salad which seemed to have some sort of soft veggie on it when my host brother asked me “Does your mouth feel numb?”. What does that mean?

He explained that the salad contained the skin of the Fugu. WTF? I read online the skin is also super toxic. “Ya just enough poison to cause a little fun”. And by fun did he mean melt my brain? Nullify my lungs from moving? Great.

I though I was going to die. I considered writing my will as I took each bite.

We had Fugu soup, Fugu chunks, Fugu everything.

Finally dessert came, it looked good, something that had been roasted in the oven. My host brother ordered me one, and started giggling like a schoolgirl. Why so funny I thought? The dessert tasted a bit salty. Perhaps Fugu for dessert too, hopefully not liver dessert.

“How’s your dessert?”, he asked with a grin.

“Strangely salty”, I answered.

“Fish sperm”, he answered.

“Seriously?”, I queried

“Yup”, he answered.
“F%$ you”, I responded.

And then I spat up the rest of the single serve of $30 dessert onto my plate.

PS You might want to learn the word "Shirako" which means fish sperm. When your friends ask if you want to try. Answer "Hell's No!"

I humbly inform you, you have 5 minutes to live. By the way, you might as well enjoy some fish sperm, it's delicious.

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Other funny stories from this blog 
http://memoirsgaijin.blogspot.ca/

My blog about everyday life (not Japan related)
http://eyethroughtheglass.blogspot.ca/


My Youtube Channel (makes no sense just like my blog)
http://www.youtube.com/user/judoka4eva

Hello Mr.Sparkle this way please

 Hello Mr.Sparkle

My childhood dream to become Mr.Sparkle came true, kind of.

We used to go to conveyor belt sushi a lot. You know the one where there is a small conveyor belt and the sushi is on a plate and goes around. You grab the plate and help yourself. Then the waitress adds the number of plates to determine how much the bill is.

If you have the balls. Hide the sushi plates under your table so they can't count them.

 
Anyways I totally loved it, how can’t you. We started going regularly with our group of gaijin (foreign friends). I would imagine I probably went over my dosage of mercury poisoning (tuna) but no long term health effects that I’m aware of (except for my brain, which my wife keeps telling me must be damaged).
This place I fancied was super cheap, only 100 yen (1$) a plate. Due to the incredibly good deal, half of the town seemed to have the same idea about coming. There was a wait list to write your own name.
I always liked the episode of the Simpsons where Homer finds the box with his face on it. Its a cleaning solution that has Japanese written on it. It says “Mr.Sparkle”. If you don't know it, its funny, watch it. 
I thought it was funny so on the wait list at the restaurant I would write it exactly that way “MISUTAA SUPARKORU” aka Mr. Sparkle. Most people would write their family names, and then the waitress would add “san” which is honorific for Mr or Mrs to each name.
In my case I didn't want the “san” I wanted MR / MISUTAA. I was excited and didn't tell the other foreigners I had written our group name as Mr.Sparkle. 
I was waiting for the trigger to be pulled. They would announce it the P.A. system and everyone would hear. I giggled like a little girl in anticipation. I think my friends thought I was high. If only....
To my dismay the waitress came forward and said the seat was ready.
My only hope of recovery from this was if I asked her to confirm the name out loud. She whispered quietly “Sparkle san”. F!!!!!! Complete FAIL.
I was kind of bummed about that so in the future I tried writing variations. Onetime I  wrote Mr. Gaijin (foreigner). They never said it. I tried Mr.TANAKA and one of them must have been watching me write it. They would lead us to the seat directly without an announcement.
I was disappointed at their non attempts to amuse me. I was tempted to hide some of my plates under the table so she couldn't count them. Or better yet, I should have left the empty plate on the belt and just take the sushi! Hahaha.
I didn't do it. I feared I’d be banned and also because I'm a wimp.

They also sell T-shirts of this online now. I guess its not only my childhood dream.

If you found anything above amusing or even slightly funny help me out and click one of those boxes above or give me a Google +1 or something. Might come in handy in the future.

Other funny stories from this blog 
http://memoirsgaijin.blogspot.ca/

My blog about everyday life (not Japan related)
http://eyethroughtheglass.blogspot.ca/


My Youtube Channel (makes no sense just like my blog)
http://www.youtube.com/user/judoka4eva