Hello Mr.Sparkle this way please

 Hello Mr.Sparkle

My childhood dream to become Mr.Sparkle came true, kind of.

We used to go to conveyor belt sushi a lot. You know the one where there is a small conveyor belt and the sushi is on a plate and goes around. You grab the plate and help yourself. Then the waitress adds the number of plates to determine how much the bill is.

If you have the balls. Hide the sushi plates under your table so they can't count them.

 
Anyways I totally loved it, how can’t you. We started going regularly with our group of gaijin (foreign friends). I would imagine I probably went over my dosage of mercury poisoning (tuna) but no long term health effects that I’m aware of (except for my brain, which my wife keeps telling me must be damaged).
This place I fancied was super cheap, only 100 yen (1$) a plate. Due to the incredibly good deal, half of the town seemed to have the same idea about coming. There was a wait list to write your own name.
I always liked the episode of the Simpsons where Homer finds the box with his face on it. Its a cleaning solution that has Japanese written on it. It says “Mr.Sparkle”. If you don't know it, its funny, watch it. 
I thought it was funny so on the wait list at the restaurant I would write it exactly that way “MISUTAA SUPARKORU” aka Mr. Sparkle. Most people would write their family names, and then the waitress would add “san” which is honorific for Mr or Mrs to each name.
In my case I didn't want the “san” I wanted MR / MISUTAA. I was excited and didn't tell the other foreigners I had written our group name as Mr.Sparkle. 
I was waiting for the trigger to be pulled. They would announce it the P.A. system and everyone would hear. I giggled like a little girl in anticipation. I think my friends thought I was high. If only....
To my dismay the waitress came forward and said the seat was ready.
My only hope of recovery from this was if I asked her to confirm the name out loud. She whispered quietly “Sparkle san”. F!!!!!! Complete FAIL.
I was kind of bummed about that so in the future I tried writing variations. Onetime I  wrote Mr. Gaijin (foreigner). They never said it. I tried Mr.TANAKA and one of them must have been watching me write it. They would lead us to the seat directly without an announcement.
I was disappointed at their non attempts to amuse me. I was tempted to hide some of my plates under the table so she couldn't count them. Or better yet, I should have left the empty plate on the belt and just take the sushi! Hahaha.
I didn't do it. I feared I’d be banned and also because I'm a wimp.

They also sell T-shirts of this online now. I guess its not only my childhood dream.

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Other funny stories from this blog 
http://memoirsgaijin.blogspot.ca/

My blog about everyday life (not Japan related)
http://eyethroughtheglass.blogspot.ca/


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Disillusionment Road: The Road to Sucksville

After a long day and then night in Kyoto I decided to head home.
As you recall from my other thirty blogposts I lived in a prefecture beside Kyoto, called Shiga.
Everyone knows Kyoto. Its one of the main cities in Japan, full of temples, shrines and Geisha (not prostitutes fyi and its pronounced GAY SHAH).

Kyoto, the city of awesome. If only I lived there instead of mosquito laced rice fields.

The capital of my prefecture was only fifteen minutes away by train, but unfortunately for me, I lived on the opposite side of the prefecture in the most countryside area possible ( just mosquitoes and rice fields).
This means if I wanted to get home I had to get the last train which went around 11PM from Kyoto to take these tacky subway lines to get to the main JR National train line.
Now, I may or may not have been drinking that night. If it incriminates me in anyway lets say I wasn't (but I was).
So my math may have been a bit off. I thought OK its 11:15 PM now, so I should be able to make it. Since I had worked it out onetime that the latest I could ever leave was 11PM while sober, I was probably making the wrong decision. This seems to be a reoccurring theme in my life.
I fell asleep on the train (that's what alcohol does to people, although I may not have been drinking remember). I heard an announcement in Japanese stating that this was the last stop for the night. I was like perfect I'm home. My stop happened to be the last stop on the line for two years. My third year they extended the railway line and I got screwed over a few times (maybe other blog story?).
To my dismay I had arrived in Maibara city. The characters of Maibara means "rice fields" and that's all it is. Its the middle of nothing, its total sucksville! The only thing significant at all about it is that it is the only stop for some shikansen "bullet trains" in Shiga prefecture. In a nutshell, it sucks.
I guess this last train was only to Maibara for people wanting to take the bullet train.

Welcome to Maibara the station in the middle of rice fields, or as I call it, the place of suck.

So I had arrived at a place that sucks at 1215AM. I checked the list of trains. Everything had stopped except a bullet train to Tokyo. Hmmm.... might be fun I thought. Nah, I want to get home.
I had driven it a few times and it wasn't that far, only about 20 minutes by car. By foot shouldn't be that much different.
I looked at the train line map. Its only six stops I thought. How far could it be to walk? Surely not far.
Stupidity seemed to be my motto that day (and perhaps one might say other days as well).
It was a hell of a lot farther than expected.
Well that would be an understatement. To be precise let me tell u what googlemaps says. It quotes the walk as 8.5 km. 8.5 km doesn't seem like much but in the dark, trying to follow a train track, but let me assure you its very far.
Not to mention the inability to walk in a straight line (as I may or may not have been drinking).
I considered taking a taxi but the last time I did that that we had missed the last train and split the cost between four people. It was about $50.
I started my walk. My muscles were pretty sore and I hadn't had a drink since Kyoto (maybe). All the street lights seemed to stop as I got to the outskirts of town. I tried to use my cellphone as a flashlight, but it sucked.
I saw a few fireflies but the light they emitted was useless.
I'll never understand why in movies they make them seem like they can light up the dark path and you don't need flashlights, its all fantasy.
I followed the track as best I could, since I knew the track would reach a place near my house at some point.
I figured since its the last train, I'll only need to watch out for super high speed trains like the bullet train. I can just dodge them if they come (I am half Ninja afterall). I remembered reading something about the train tracks being electrified. I did my best not to stand on the track but beside it. I wondered if I should lay some pennies on the track to see them get flattened. That's always fun, at least when you are five years old. Or better yet, stick my ear to the track to hear when the next train is coming. But I worried I might sleep while I'm down there.
Two hours past and the train track seemed to vanish from view. I decided to stick to the roads.
I think I may have walked in circle for a bit. My girlfriend asked me where I was. I was honest, I told her I didn't know. For once it was no lie.
I started to run cause I thought it was getting a bit ridiculous at this point. I stopped seeing cars for a while. I wondered if no one drives at 230 AM or I had just gone the wrong way.
After three and one half hours I arrived home. My legs were sore as hell and I was covered in sweat from running.
I checked Googlemaps. It claimed the trip should only take 20 minutes by car or just under two hours walking. F! I must have walked in circles or something since that was over 2 hours.
I regretted not just paying the $50 for the taxi.

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Other funny stories from this blog 
http://memoirsgaijin.blogspot.ca/

My blog about everyday life (not Japan related)
http://eyethroughtheglass.blogspot.ca/


My Youtube Channel (makes no sense just like my blog)
http://www.youtube.com/user/judoka4eva

Sticky Hair, Burning Stomach, Perfect Combo

One day I was sitting in my condo watching Japanese TV.
My girlfriend used to always say, “I don’t like to leave you alone, because every time I do you come up with stupid ideas”. If I ever gave her lip and asked for an example she would make me a list (which were always true). Most of the things I came up with I thought were smart at the time, but once I did them I realized they were daft mistakes.

Don't fall. Use those muscles. At least he has a spotter.

One time I heard if you put coke in your hair, it will dye it naturally. Seemed like a good idea, but my hair got all sticky and the coke dripped from my hair all over the floor. Our condo was sticky for months. I remember her on her hands and knees more than once scrubbing (sorry).
Another time I thought it was a good idea to put a door hanger on my outside door that said my name in Japanese. Only the thing was I didn’t use the alphabet for foreign loan words for my name (called katakana). I used hiragana, which is a native Japanese alphabet only for Japanese words. I didn’t realize that my name could have a separate meaning in Japanese. We stopped getting mail from the post for a while. I couldn't figure out why until a Japanese friend mentioned that my door said I was never home. I said what do you mean? That’s my name. He said but you used hiragana, so they would think you are leaving them a message, “I'm never home”. That was dumb, at least inadvertently. At least my vocabulary was expanding.
My next ingenious idea came to me while watching TV. Infomercials always suck me in. I never buy anything from them, but if I think its a good idea I go do it. If they have an infomercial on organic honey, I’ll go buy the cheapest honey I could and drink a litre of it. I do remember one time them talking about the benefits of honey, saying it has magic healing powers and been used since the time of the ancient Pharaohs. I'm not sure this counts as well for the cheap stuff which is just basically glue mixed with sugar. But it tastes good at least.
This one particular day as my girlfriend was out, there was an infomercial on garlic. To be precise it was on garlic pills. They were explaining how good garlic is for you and that it has magical healing qualities. It also kills bacteria and is good for circulation. Each bottle of pills was about $80 (8000 yen). The advantage over eating garlic cloves was there wouldn't be an issue with the smell. Fair enough, but not worth the $80 to me. I'm frugal and that's a waste of money, so I kept thinking of an alternative cheap way to do it.
I came up with a great idea (I thought at the time). I would eat raw garlic cloves. And by garlic cloves I meant two full bulbs. I also did this on an empty stomach. More power of the magical qualities I thought. If you know me, you know I have a weak stomach, so this was perhaps not the smartest plan for me, nonetheless I decided to see it through.
I ate two bulbs (heads) of garlic. Yes, it burnt a bit as it went down. My tongue tasted a bit fiery.
I enjoyed the rest of the infomercial and thought about all the health benefits I was about to have happen to me. As my Japanese friends used to use the odd Japanese-English expression “It’s enjoy”. So "its enjoy" I did.
About an hour later, I felt like I had eaten battery acid. My stomach felt like it was turning inside out. The timing was perfect because my girlfriend had arrived home as I was moaning in pain. “What did you do this time?” she asked. I told the story as I moaned like a little girl (what else is new). Suddenly as if a thousand needles shot into my stomach & esophagus at once, I could feel my stomach twisting in revolution (or perhaps revelation). I ran for the bathroom and out came my cloves of garlic, in a slightly acidic form. The smell was terrible. It was even worse when the vomit came out my nose. It burned like a jalapeño pepper! I laughed and vomited at the same time. It was like riding the teacups at Disneyland for the first time, but on steroids.
As the pain from my stupidity halted my girlfriend decided to end with her two cents. 
“So what did you learn?”, she asked.
“I guess next time I should eat something before eating raw cloves I guess”, I answered.

Go! You should be OK. Don't do the splits though.

If you found anything above amusing or even slightly funny help me out and click one of those boxes above or give me a Google +1 or something. Might come in handy in the future.

Other funny stories from this blog 
http://memoirsgaijin.blogspot.ca/

My blog about everyday life (not Japan related)
http://eyethroughtheglass.blogspot.ca/


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You Never Know What You're Gonna Get

You Never Know What You're Gonna Get
Surprise meat for lunch today, Come get it!

Sometimes its normal, sometimes its not. Life is like a box of chocolates. Just make sure its very sugary please.

As Forrest Gump says “Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you’re going to get”. However in my case I’d have to rephrase that for the box lunch at school “You never know what you’re going to get”. I prayed I wouldn’t eat anything too extreme like barnacles. Hard on the teeth, like the ultimate rock candy.
At each school a lunch (called kyushoku) is prepared for you each day. Usually it consisted of a soup (corn or enoki mushroom), a carbohydrate (like bread or rice) and a dessert (yoghurt or jello called zeri "ZEH RII"). It usually had one meat as a main that rotated. It was hit and miss with vegetables. At least no asparagus! Score. I think I'm still a kid at heart.
All the books that prepare the JET English Teachers say “While we can’t force you, we suggest you eat the school lunch provided. This gives you a chance to interact with teachers, students and eat some foods that are an important part of Japanese culture”. As far as I could recall, Japanese foods don't contain cat or dog meat so I thought I’d probably be OK.
After a while I started to recognize some lunch foods repeating. My least favorite was bread and a condiment package. The package was made so that if you push it together both sides would squirt out. The problem was it was jam in one package and a kind of mayonnaise ish butter in the other side. I hated it. I usually spent a few minutes trying to carefully squirt only the jam while the white sauce would spray me in the face or all over my desk. Oh the joy of eating at your own desk. On days when school lunch wasn’t available in the summer, we would bring our own lunches. My desk would get stained with sushi, soy sauce, pasta sauce. You name it I probably had streaks of it on my desk. A dog would have loved my desk. The ultimate rainbow of flavours and smells.
I don’t consider myself a big eater by any means, but by my third year I sat across from this gigantic Judo teacher. He probably weighed about 300 pounds approx 140 KG. He was one big dude! His friend which happened to be his size would later break my ribs in Judo by falling on me (let’s keep that for another blogpost). You are a jerk by the way if you are reading this.

The guy ate two of these a day. Talk about carbo loading.

Anyways, he always ate a lot for lunch as you can imagine. How else can you maintain that kind of weight. When I would looked around I’d see all the other teachers eat half as much as him. He’d always go back for second helpings of anything that was left. I even once saw him just eat the jam package without any bread. He just squeezed it into his mouth, gross! Jam mixing with that terrible white cream of mayo butter. It was obesity to the extreme.

He was a big boy. We should have eaten him instead of what we ate.

I usually got a big helping as well. I’m not sure if they thought I was a big eater (and weighed only 130 pounds) or if they thought I was supplementing my other meals by making my lunch my biggest meal since it was free. That part was somewhat true. Always trying to save money.
One time we had some sort of beef looking meat, kind of black. I asked what it was. “Kujira”, they answered. I thought haha funny, we are really going to eat whale for lunch. As if there is enough whale to supply every school in this prefecture with whale. That would be a lot of whale. Half the world’s oceans would be depleted of whale. Wait, that has already happened.
I sat down and started to eat. The beef tasted a bit off I thought. Its beefy but with a little bit more rubbery taste. I washed it down with some milk (probably not a good idea. That’s usually a recipe for diarrhea).
Afterwards I was on our Gaijin (Foreign) community forum that I saw that some people had written “Be careful with lunch today, its whale. Don’t eat it”. Oh crap, maybe it really was I thought. Maybe it wasn’t a joke? Come to think of it, I had never tasted beef so rubbery and the colour of the meat was kind of dark. I looked on the food calendar that was on the wall. Naturally there was a cute child’s drawn picture of a whale on that day. That’s nice, make the whale all cute then eat it. That’s like saying it's Easter and giving out eggs, oh and just so you know we ate the rabbit that made those chocolate goodies.
I ate crab brains a few times too. I thought it just happened to be crab that they had put back into the topshell. Later one of the teachers said to me “How’s the brain? Most foreigners that have been at the school don’t eat that”. Crap! I had been eating brain for two years.
Oh well, I hoped that motto “You are what you eat” might come true.
I hoped I hadn’t been eating any feces and didn’t know it.

Oh boy. No comment.

If you found anything above amusing or even slightly funny help me out and click one of those boxes above or give me a Google +1 or something. Might come in handy in the future.

Other funny stories from this blog 
http://memoirsgaijin.blogspot.ca/

My blog about everyday life (not Japan related)
http://eyethroughtheglass.blogspot.ca/


My Youtube Channel (makes no sense just like my blog)
http://www.youtube.com/user/judoka4eva

Kendo, it stinks! Literally!

 Kendo, it stinks! Literally!

To make it more interesting let's use live metal blades and no padding. Now, that would show who is the Last Samurai!

If you’ve ever seen The Last Samurai, you probably thought sword fighting is the coolest thing ever. Little boys no matter what country use sticks, brooms and pens to battle each other. I was never that good at it as a kid. I used to get hit, so I’d run and throw my sword or in this case my stick at them.
The moto “stand and fight” never stuck well with me, I always prefered “flee like a wimp and throw things”. Hope to live another day.
Regardless I thought THE LAST SAMURAI was so cool, Tom Cruise with his Scientology and their aliens that made the earth storyline. Oh wait! Sorry that’s real life.
I can’t deny he was very cool with his damn swords and training as a Samurai.
In Japan though, you can’t really train with real swords (for fear of cutting each other in half), although to be honest that would be pretty cool. Imagine seeing people practicing and they are like “Oh dude, wait wait, I cut your arm in half”. It would be like a scene from Monty Python Holy Grail.
Kendo is pretty much the closest thing to real swords, but its done with wooden swords (called shinai in Japanese). I always thought, if I get the chance I’d like to see someone do it. As its kind of like make believe being a samurai. That being said if you have ever been unlucky enough to watch Kendo before, you already know what I'm going to write about.
One of our school students was in a tournament on a country wide sports day. Since he was the only one from our school, he was unique at the tourney with no support. I went to go see him with the vice principal to give him a cheerleader. I thought it was also a chance to see some Tom Cruise like battles fighting to the death albeit with wooden swords.
Just prior to walking into the gym the Vice principal said to me, "Get ready for it, as soon as we walk in a very special smell".
I was thinking WTF does that mean! Then as we walked in I understood. The putrid smell of stinky, salty sweat! It was overwhelming to the point of almost throwing up. It was a horrible horrid smell. Let's called it the HH horrible horrid smell. 
He informed me that after a short time I would get used to it. I was thinking whatever time short is determined to be is going to be too long. He told me it was even strong for him and he was used to it, since he taught Kendo near his house. I guess because they have armour on, they sweat profusely underneath the armour. He said they could wash the gi (marital arts clothes) part of the cloth, but not the rest. Remind me not to do Kendo, unless I have a severe nose cold or a clothespin on my nose.

That's what my girlfriend always says. It might be a good thing in some ways. As long as it doesn't smell as bad as Kendo.

I always pictured Kendo just like in the movies with these huge cuts and slashes. To my disbelief they have only have 3 cuts (swings) in Kendo, that I’m aware of. Hmm, so much for surprise. Not that I should talk, I’d run as soon as someone started slashing.
After seeing each of the cuts I kept thinking wow, these small little movements are kind of boring. You can’t even tell if someone cut the wrist for the point or not. Too bad it wasn’t live blades, at least it would be more exciting. I contemplated going up to someones sword when there weren't looking and putting a metal tip on it.
It was so boring and I had to watch it for 3 hours. I realized at that point I should have chosen a more interesting sport to watch like golf. By the way, to the people who find golf interesting, I'm not even sure that counts as a sport. You don't even break a sweat.
I started to fall asleep and the teacher said, "Let's go, I've had enough of this". You could say that I again. I had enough of it  times 100! Once we exited the building I inhaled fresh air, it was nice, until we got to his old truck and the smell of gasoline and smoke made me sick again.

Sometimes you can't win!

If you found anything above amusing or even slightly funny help me out and click one of those boxes above or give me a Google +1 or something. Might come in handy in the future. If only it could make me some money.

My Youtube Channel, wearing red tights and jumping around as Deadpool (but I say Dadpool to avoid copyright. Smarter than I look!)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OUXxArlapy0

Other funny stories from this blog 
http://memoirsgaijin.blogspot.ca/

My blog about everyday life (not Japan related)
http://eyethroughtheglass.blogspot.ca/


My Youtube Channel (makes no sense just like my blog)
http://www.youtube.com/user/judoka4eva

30,000 dollars Bank Heist, Minus the Theft Part

 $30,000 Bank Heist, Minus the Heist

Money I like money! I wish I had some money right now. All gone!

As I geared up to leave Japan after three years I contemplated what to do with my buckets of money. And by buckets I mean a lot. But don’t try to rob me its all gone now. As the saying goes "Never trust a man with the money, you can be guaranteed it will be spent on drugs, alcohol, gambling or wasted on things they don’t need", like in my case.
Yes, even after spending large amounts of cash across three years at the dollar store (I almost went everyday) I had managed to save quite a bit believe it or not. $30,0000 is quite impressive if I can toot my own horn.
I’ll never forget the first day when I bought 100 items and the teacher said “I’ve never seen anyone buy so much at the dollarstore”. I smiled and told him, “And that’s just today, I’m planning to come back tomorrow!”. And the best part. I did!
As you may know I was on the JET Programme which is a Japanese government sponsored program.
A lot of people are able to save a lot of money since we were paid fairly well and in most cases, our apartment or living rental is subsidized. I knew of a few people who were able to to pay off their University loans. In my case, I just collected the buckets of money and dreamed of dollarstore glory.
So what should I do with the money I thought. How should I transfer it or should I just carry it in my suitcase, so it will be like a drug deal. When they ask me at the airport how I got all that money, I’ll be like, “Well, I Taught English for three years. I basically got paid to be beaten”.They would probably arrest me and say, "Must be drug money, there is no way you can get beaten in Japan by students, they are too nice". Not at my school.
The exchange rate was terrible! In fact it was the worst it had been since I had arrived in Japan.
Me, being the person I am, was not prepared to lose any money on the exchange rate. I was thinking I could make money on the exchange rate. If I waited long enough.
How long though, I didn’t even want to think about.
My final decision was to sit on the money, literally and figuratively. I thought since I had a post office (bank) account I would put all my money in the post office bank account (no fee to hold it), give someone I trusted my post office bank card (preferably someone rich so they don’t want to steal my money)  and for them to send it to me when the exchange rate was better.
The only issues I had was that my approximately $30,000 dollars was sitting in a different bank account across town and they wanted me to pay to transfer it. Ridiculous I thought! Who pays to have money transferred (I guess they do everywhere I found out later).. I’m a loyal customer of three years, the least they can do is transfer it for me. So I showed up during my last few days. I brought my ID and told them, “Hi, I’d like my $30,000 dollars please”. They suggested I transfer it and pay the $20 for the transfer. Seriously? I lose $20! I could buy twenty things the dollarstore with that.
I told them no, I want cash.
They prepared the bills in my bulletproof case (that's a joke about bulletproof case) and asked if I was OK. I said ya no problem and tossed the $30,000 into my old backpack. Now, had I been in the United States, or possibly Canada I may not have done this. Walking around with $30,000 is a bit of a risk.
To make the risk even greater I had ridden (rode?) my scooter. Plus my backpack was so old the zippers weren't staying together. Not to worry I thought, should be fine. Maybe.

This bag should hold the money well I thought.  The odd hole, hopefully no money will fall out.

I started up my scooter and drove to the other side of town. Since it was probably the last day I would get to use my scooter I gunned it, thinking about how I won’t be able to enjoy the wind through my hair again, nor the typhoons and rain in my eyes. I had forgotten the bag wasn’t closed very well.
I arrived at the post office. The teller asked what I’d like to do. I told her deposit $30,000 dollars.
She was like OK nonchalantly. I pulled my backpack off and noticed the zipper was open more than hallway, whoops!
There was a man standing pretty close behind me as well, so I was lucky he hadn’t put his hand in and taken any.Its OK though, he's Japanese I doubt he would.
She counted the money as I hoped to high hell it was all there.
I waited another three years before the exchange rate was what I considered good enough to transfer. I ended up paying 50$ per $10,000 to send to Canada, so $150.
In the end I paid more for waiting then the damn $20 to have to it transferred to the post office and avoid any risk. Plus I could have just taken it with me and lost less money on the exchange rate.
Oh damn, just my luck!
$150 to transfer! Can you believe that. Damn I could have bought 150 things at the dollarstore!

It's basically my Disneyland. Where dreams come true.  $1 everything!

If you found anything above amusing or even slightly funny help me out and click one of those boxes above or give me a Google +1 or something. Might come in handy in the future.

Other funny stories from this blog 
http://memoirsgaijin.blogspot.ca/

My blog about everyday life (not Japan related)
http://eyethroughtheglass.blogspot.ca/


My Youtube Channel (makes no sense just like my blog)
http://www.youtube.com/user/judoka4eva

Is Batman a Ninja?

Is Batman a Ninja?  

Night, Dark Knight, throwing stars, he must be a Ninja!

I used to say to my students in Japanese, “Are you are a ninja?”. They would all mumble something I couldn’t hear while I would be thinking how cool it would be to be a ninja.
I finally started asking them what they were saying, since it was always too quiet for me to hear. A few of the boys told me that no one says that, since its not cool. Unless you are 5 years old. That also reminds of the time when I wrote sweatpants when I was 15 year old and this school mate told me, “Dude! Sweatpants? Seriously!? Those were cool when you are 5!”. I continued to wear sweatpants till I was 20. Anyways..........

This guy is cool, wearing sweatpants at age 50.  Read his sign.

I couldn’t grasp the idea that something can’t be cool. so when I asked the students why. They would tell me Ninjas have no morals or code of honor. I couldn’t believe that. I always liked the movie AMERICAN NINJA and Beverly Hills Ninja. They were Ninja and somehow tied it into the American way. Too bad it wasn’t the Canadian way!
This is a lesson here. Do not ever tell people in Japan you want to be a ninja!
I imagined sneaking around throwing shuriken (throwing stars) at people, climbing up buildings, using a reed straw to breath underwater, becoming invisible with my mind. How could it get any cooler than that?  I recall as a teenage my Japanese class High School teacher FITZ (who was Caucasian) used to always say he was a ninja. He told us he could kill people without them even knowing he was there. Ya I thought, that dude is totally right. Well, just to let you know, Japanese people don’t think ninjas are that cool. Kids might when young, but their history is not as cool as you think. Mostly they were kind of countryside people who would use whatever they had on hand as weapons to kill or maim advisories. As time went by, they become specialized mercenaries for hire. They trained in secret, and were somewhat the opposite of Samurai. If you tell someone you want to be a ninja, its like saying “I want to learn how to stab people in the back and be dishonorable”. Instead of facing my enemy, I use darkness to conceal myself and throw little sharp metal objects that are totally annoying but probably won’t kill. It will just blind people, and therefore cause dishonor to them for the rest of their lives. Still cool?

Well yes, a little. Plus, how you resist that you get to wear black and cover your face. Its like batman or something,  wearing black, using night to conceal, scaring people with awesomeness. Wait! Is Batman a ninja? A ninja of night justice? He punishes those that don’t do what’s right and throws metal batarangs at them. I guess he is!

An unskilled Ninja.

Anyways, back to story at hand. Is it cool to be a ninja? Hmmm maybe not? You know what actually on second thought who am I kidding? It's always cool to be a ninja.  Yes, because you get to be all secretive and do cool stuff, but at the same time it's not honorable or right and sometimes being a rebel is cool. Who believes in doing what’s right all the time, besides I’m a Canadian after all. You know us and our reputations.  
The long story short is even though in the West we think Ninjas are the coolest things, its not necessarily the same in Japan. In addition, real Ninjas don’t exist anymore. Except Batman.

Ninja vanish, I’m out and you didn’t even notice.

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Other funny stories from this blog 
http://memoirsgaijin.blogspot.ca/

My blog about everyday life (not Japan related)
http://eyethroughtheglass.blogspot.ca/


My Youtube Channel (makes no sense just like my blog)
http://www.youtube.com/user/judoka4eva