A Soccer Kick to the Demon Student part 2

Have you ever wanted to a soccer kick someone in the face?

I have.
It sounds mean, and guess what. It is!

Part 2

This looks bad, but I totally wanted to do it. Soccer boots on as well.

If you didn't read my last post, please read it first. 
http://memoirsgaijin.blogspot.ca/2012/06/soccer-kick-to-demon-student-part-1.html

If you don't have time or don't want to, the gist is that this one kid was evil and happened to be the devil's spawn. He wanted to test to see how Zen I was. I wasn't at all and lost control.

Back to the original story, after he sprayed himself with perfume and with the heat all the kids started complaining. He picked on the nicest, smartest kid in the class who was sitting beside him and he sprayed her in the face with the perfume. I was furious. She was this little quiet, helpless kid, who he chose to abuse because he is the biggest bully. This demon child physically abuses teachers and students and is getting away with it.

I told him to stop it. I don’t recall now if I spoke in English or Japanese, but either way he got the message I was not impressed.

He came to the back of the classroom where I was standing and shoulder checked me into the wall. He seemed to be walking out of the class.

I lost it. I grabbed him by the shirt and slammed him into the door. He started punching me in the face and chest which made me more angry. Of course I couldn’t really punch him, since he is a kid. Although one of the Japanese English teachers used to tell me someday I should try, since the chances of me getting sued or kicked out of Japan were less due to me not being Japanese.

He fell against the door and I pushed him harder. He grabbed me by the trachea (throat) and started to try to crunch my windpipe.

Double spelt wrong. Only I choked he kicked me in the balls.

 Since I was so angry, I didn’t feel much. Occasionally adrenaline comes in handy. He kicked me in the balls and I pushed him again. Finally due to the door being a sliding door and both of us leaning on it, it slide open and we fell into the hallway.

He was swearing like bloody murder and some of the hallway teachers came to see what was happening. He kicked me in the balls again and I kept coming forward, as if to show him no matter what he tried to do, I could destroy him.

He tried to punch me and I avoided it, then he kicked me in the nuts harder, which I could feel. I felt like I peeing blood. Not a great feeling to say the least. I don't suggest you try it.

As his last kick hit me in my balls and I felt like my spleen split, I grabbed his foot. At Judo I had practiced a move about 1000 times where once you grab the foot you kick/ sweep out the remaining leg. This ends up with the person either landing on their back and their wind knocked out on mats, or if on the streets, the head hitting the cement and their brains falling out. I thought about this for at least ten seconds. I could have ended it right there, but it might have ended up being permanently for him. I was trying to think rationally through the anger and adrenaline. 

Imagine me throwing you super speed on your head on cement.

I let his leg go and he tried to kick me again, luckily this time due to the previous hit my hips automatically moved back (like Elvis) trying to protect my groin from further damage. A female teacher came forward to try to restrain him and he slugged her in the face. I couldn’t believe it. I stepped on his foot and again I thought about letting him have it. I was so close to destroying him I can’t even tell you. At that point I didn’t care he was 15 years old, my size and technically a child. He was a demon that deserved some punishment.
I stepped off his foot and gave him a swift kick to his shins to level things out. Until that point I hadn’t laid a finger on him in retaliation for his kicks to my balls, punches and shoulder check. I couldn’t contain my anger anymore.
The female teacher was holding her face in pain. As I kicked him in the shin he let out a squeal like I had stuck a knife in him. Dude, I kicked you in the shin. You just slugged a lady in the face! Man up!
Finally a male teacher came and he pushed him away. Finally a few more teachers came and they managed to subdue him. They started to pull him away. At this point I looked down and my shirt and realized not only was it ripped, but there was blood on it, I didn’t know where it was from but when I felt my lip I realized my lip was cut open. My throat had fingernail blood marks and I felt like peeing blood. Maybe I can donate the blood?
The English teacher suggested I go to the staff room to go get a new shirt. Seemed like a good idea at the time. Just my luck, that demon student was standing at the staffroom while they tried to settle him down. Seriously? That is unlucky.
He ran at me as fast as he could and yelled. I thought perhaps at this point he might be scared of me, since I doubt many teachers kick students in the shin, or retaliate in anyway.
He pretended to punch me, but I had no reaction. I thought maybe it would show him how weak he is, that I don’t care if he hits me, I’ll keep coming forward and crush him whenever I want. I felt like I was a black panther (civil rights movement for African Americans in USA.) only I'm not black and my goal isn't as important.
He charged at me again, the female teacher who had got punched in the face a few minutes before begged him to stop, she literally begged him. I felt really bad for her. It was like she was begging for him to let me live. Maybe she expected the worse from him, a knife in my back. Great.
As he tried to punch me again, she turned her back on him and covered me from punches. That was nice, although the few male teachers that were left tried to control him. I headed to the staff room.
It seems like the remaining staff knew what was happening. I was told I should to the principal’s office to hide. It was like I was in protective custody. Its a kid though I thought, can't they just suspend him? He repeated about 100 times how he was going to kill me. I should have recorded it and turned it into a song. It might have caught on for the other demon children.
I hide in the principal’s office. He tried to gain access to the principal’s office by kicking the door from the hallway and punching the windows. I was laughing a bit, it seemed a bit overly dramatic and ridiculous.
After another hour of him being a drama demon, they said it might be safe for me to return to the staffroom.
I didn’t know if they were joking but they told me I should be careful in the hallways, as he may be waiting for me. I was like ummm OK.
I pictured him sharpening a pencil to stab me with. At least he is using a pencil for once I thought.
I managed to survive for the next few weeks.
One of the muscular American guys whose Japanese wife happened to work at my school knew about the situation.
During a JET English teacher meeting, they asked if anyone was having any issues. My teacher had asked me to keep the story on the down-low for the school’s sake and my own, since it was suggested to me, it was mostly my fault for setting him off.
I didn’t say anything, I had already mentioned my school was difficult and I was abused regularly, but no one took notice. Thanks by the way if you are reading this. HA!
I don’t want to compare myself to a crime victim, but it was definitely like being victimized and even though trying to report it, no one listens. Plus I didn't feel like bringing it up, since who is gonna believe I got beat by a child.
The head of the prefecture was at the meeting and he came over. As he was about to finish the meeting, the American guy said “Listen. I know this guy and he is getting beat by his students. This person doesn’t want to ruffle any feathers, release his name or his school's name but he was told BE LIKE BRUCE LEE when a student attacked him. Can anything be done or what!?”. The person claimed he didn’t know there were any issues and that if that was the situation he would like to know what he can do to solve it.
I got a phone call the next day from that person. He informed me he had spoken to his Japanese government superiors, who informed him my school was a special situation and not much could be done. I was like damn! He told me the only way I could switch schools was if for some reason I had a terrible medical condition they couldn't deal with in my town.

For the first time in my life I wish I had something serious, like the black plague.

If you found anything above amusing or even slightly funny help me out and click one of those boxes above or give me a Google +1 or something. Might come in handy in the future.

Other funny stories from this blog 
http://memoirsgaijin.blogspot.ca/

My blog about everyday life (not Japan related)
http://eyethroughtheglass.blogspot.ca/


My Youtube Channel (makes no sense just like my blog)
http://www.youtube.com/user/judoka4eva

 

Haircut and Throatcut Please, I'll take both

Time for a Japanese Haircut, or throat cut, depending on what you'd like sir.

Well... I'll take both!

 I think he is gonna use that on my head, or possibly my throat. At least he looks happy to see me.

Repost from my older blog.


So I went to get my haircut today. It was the usual place I've been going in Vancouver. I go to this really cheap place 6$ plus taxes. Although it just went up to 8$, which is still pretty good. I went to an authentic Japanese salon in Vancouver and it cost 40$. Who wants to pay that? Especially for a guys haircut. I could probably give myself a bowl cut, with a shaver and pay nothing. 8$ is my kind of price.

So the only reason the place is so cheap is because its full of students that cut your hair. Today I had someone new. She was Chinese and I said "Do you speak any other languages?". She said she spoke Chinese and I'm like oh good for you. Then, she says to me "Are you Christian?". Since Christianity has nothing to do with language I thought it was weird. I was going to say no way, but thought she might be, so just to play it safe. Not exactly, I have no religion. "Oh!", she answered. I said, "Well, are you Christian?". "Yes", she answered.
Then she looks at me, "You seem nice, even though you aren't Christian". "Thanks I guess?", I answered. I guess the other 6 billion inhabitants of the world can't be nice cause they aren't Christian? 
I told her I lived in Japan and she asked me if there were many Christians. Again a weird question to start off a question, I get the feeling she only has religion on her mind. Since there are very few in Japan, I answered no, not really. There are about 1 million of the 135 million and the majority of Japanese tend to include themselves as belonging to more than one denomination, be it Shinto, Christian or Buddhist. One might say they use whatever religion conveniences them.
She said, "I see". 
End of conversation.... Silence for the rest of the haircut. 
At least the haircut didn't turn out that bad. It was a bit like this picture below.

Its not that noticeable right? No one will say anything.

Since it was silent I started to daydream and remember getting my haircut in Japan. It was kind of funny.
I went to this really cheap place near the Heiwado Super Market in our small town. It was like 1300 yen or $15, which is fairly cheap by Japan standards. They always asked me if I wanted a facial shave. Well, since the shave was always included in the price of course I wanted a shave. I would make sure I wouldn't shave the day of, to get extra value for my money. Always thinking I be. 
The only problem was that they would ask me to lean back as far as I could. I felt like I was a pig about to have my throat cut open to bleed. As I leaned back they would put boiling towels on my face, presumably to open the pores (or my skin with the blade). It felt good, but when they brought a huge blade across my throat I used to worry so much I could feel my heart race and probably super pronounced through the skin of my neck like an alien trying to escape my body. Since I had never seen Sweeney Todd Demon Barber or whatever its called, I could only make my own images in my mind of having my throat slit. Since I have a massive Adam’s apple I was always worried that it was about to get shaved off.

Now imagine that guy in Japanese form and a bigger blade and telling you to lean back and relax.

Luckily, aside from a little blood, I never got cut too badly. Afterward, they would wash down my face, shampoo my hair (for an extra 200yen or $2.50) and finish the cut, with a soft massage by a girl. Oh boy the massage was nice! I'm not going to lie. I wish they gave massages at Canadian places at a reasonable price, I'd be in there everyday and if they said you'd have to get your hair re cut, I'd do it!
One day at school I told my students where I got my haircut and they all laughed. I wondered what was so funny. Finally they told me that's where criminals worked. I wasn't sure if they were joking. I did think all the people who worked there, seemed like smoking, darker skinned (sometimes discriminated against in Japan), no teeth or gold teeth typed people. It didn't really matter to me since the price was right and so was the service. Unless of course, they did plan on cutting me for the extra 500 yen (5$ in my pocket).
I finally asked one of the English Japanese teachers what he thought of Samitto (Summit Barber). "Oh", he answered, "Actually I wouldn't go there. I think its all former criminals released from jail. I heard the government helps sponsor the place". WTF? I was going to a place where criminals just got out of jail ?
I thought someone was playing a joke on me. Apparently one of the students mom's worked there. I had mentioned numerous times at Samitto, that I worked at a really bad school called East Junior High where the students were all asses. Well, now I found out I was probably telling their parents. Whoops! Always good to dig yourself a grave, I'm sure someone there could throw me in. 
Some students also told me to look for signs, like slit wrist scars and neck scars or missing fingers.
I started to keep my eyes open for these things. I was surprised by how many I saw. I felt bad for the women who were cleaning my head, since I could see massive scars across their wrists where I assumed they had tried to commit suicide.
I also wondered when they washed my hair if they might want to hold my head under the water to kill me. I would, my Japanese isn't that great anyways, probably annoying to them to listen to my broken Japanese.
Every time I leaned back when I saw the barber with his sharp blade and his golden teeth, I worried he might want to "accidentally" cut me a little. 
They also used to stick a little mini shaver in my ear to cut out the hair. It tickled a lot and I used to laugh non stop. Some of the women would ask if I was OK. I wondered how come I was the only one that ever laughed? I must have a lot of old man hair in my ear or something.

Actually the whole thing seems pretty funny looking back at it now.
I only went to that place a few more times. We became friends with a girl that worked at a really high end hair salon across town. That has a few stories too, but not related to throat cuts or drownings. I think we got a deal from her.
When I broke my neck though and they were trying to wash my hair onetime, I felt like I was losing consciousness as my spine appeared to be snapping in half. When I mentioned I was in a bit of pain, they asked how much and I said "to the brink of death". I think they thought I was joking.
Sadly, I wasn't!

If you found anything above amusing or even slightly funny help me out and click one of those boxes above or give me a Google +1 or something. Might come in handy in the future. If only it could make me some money. That would be even nicer!

Other funny stories from this blog 
http://memoirsgaijin.blogspot.ca/

My blog about everyday life (not Japan related)
http://eyethroughtheglass.blogspot.ca/


My Youtube Channel (makes no sense just like my blog)
http://www.youtube.com/user/judoka4eva