Donate If You Enjoyed

Showing posts with label bad student. Show all posts
Showing posts with label bad student. Show all posts

Tuesday, August 13, 2013

Give me an F, Mother Trucker!

Incase you didn't figure it out my student didn't say Mother Trucker.
It was another word which is similar to that.
You fill in the blank. Mother F#&**&#!

As I've stated in previous posts, the good students I loved, the bad students I didn't love (x 1000).
There were more than a few bad students to make my life interesting.

One day the English Teacher asked me to mark tests. "Sure", I said.
I'm bored looking at porn anyways at work (that's a joke. MAYBE).

I found one test with no English on it, including the part at the top that says write your name using the English alphabet (Romaji in Japanese). In the case if you are no historian or alphabetologist (that might not be a word FYI), I will inform you hence that the English alphabet is actually from Latin.
In Japan they use "Romaji" as the romanization of Latin characters to write Japanese.

Everyone loves Daasu Beidaa "Darth Vader" I see.


This particular student failed at that part, and everything else too apparently.

I noticed a black marker had been written repeatedly over the same characters in Japanese.

JUST GIVE ME A ZERO MOTHER TRUCKER. GET IT OVER WITH!! AND DIE!!!!!

I thought that was cute.
At first I couldn't read it, but I had to decipher a few of the nastier words with my Ouija board.

I asked the spirits how to translate some very adult swears by an angry boy.

After looking at it, I laughed again and made a photocopy.
I still have it in my closet somewhere.

I wrote at the bottom in response.
I gave you a 1 although you failed to even write your name correctly using an alphabet you have studied for 13 years of your life. But you made me laugh. Therefore instead of ZERO as you requested I give you 1.
In addition, I request you die first, MOTHER TRUCKER!!

I hoped the teacher didn't recheck the papers to verify that I had marked them with bonus comments.

I recorded the scores for each student as to avoid that happening.

A few days later I heard a male student say "You die first!".
There were too many students and I forget what class the student was that wrote the test, so I couldn't put two and two together to know if it was the same student.
It may have just been a common theme among students directed at me.
I smiled at him and said in Japanese, "No you die first".
He laughed then I laughed.
The head teacher then scolded both of us.

I didn't stick my tongue out but I hoped the teacher would die first. I had my fingers crossed during scolding.




If you found anything above amusing or even slightly funny help me out and click one of those boxes above or give me a Google +1 or something. Might come in handy in the future.


Other funny stories from this blog 
http://memoirsgaijin.blogspot.ca/

My blog about everyday life (not Japan related)
http://eyethroughtheglass.blogspot.ca/


My Youtube Channel 
(makes no sense just like my blog)
http://www.youtube.com/user/judoka4eva


Saturday, July 7, 2012

Demonstration on Riot Control for Newbies

Demonstration on Riot Control for Newbies

Be careful when wearing a tie. Although it looks professional it can be used against you.

  

Myles and his bloody demon students another part of the endless series.


Comments provided by Deo and Mike at end (witnesses below).


I don't even know where to start with this one.
On my third year of JET (JAPAN Exchange Teaching Program), I get asked to do a demonstration lesson for some new ALT's (Assistant Language Teacher).
I figured this is a terrible idea for 2 reasons
1) I'm not a very good teacher (ALT) and moreover
2) My school is full of demon children, how will they live through the 2 hour lesson? I don't wish that torture on anyone.

I tell Shobana I think its a bad idea to do it. He tells me I’m the most senior, one other senior gaijin teacher always sleeps in class, and the other has only been here 2 years only. In fact every time I heard stories from the guy that was only there 2 years, his classes inspired me to be a better teacher. Then when I'd get to school I'd just think, with some of these little demons I can't even expect to them to learn Hello, its going to come out HARO no matter what I do.
Mr.Shobana (education ministry teacher) calls me a few times at my school telling me I should do it and I'm such a good teacher (rub my ego). It usually works.
He calls me more and more and again I bring up the other Assistant Language Teachers and he said he can't be trusted. I laugh again.
So a date is set for me to demo lesson for Mike, Deo, Janna and May. I send them a warning email. 
The email tells them that I can't predict what will happen but most likely it won't be good. I told the girls they might want to cover their chests, because based on how they molest me they will probably molest them. So I'm pretty sure they all think I'm joking. As my stories sound a bit far fetched I realize this is a chance for them to see I actually do have demon students.
So one day they come and the head English teacher tells the classes there will be other foreigners coming to the class to see it. Some of the students say typically things, like "F#% the foreigners", "Tell them to go home to their country", "I don't want to, f@% them", etc. Perfect I thought, let them be themselves.
So they come to my first demo class which is a 2nd year class. I told the head teacher I thought this was a bad class to chose from because one of the boys was really bad. He said he wasn't that bad, compared to other classes. I insisted he was uncontrollable and it was a bad idea. He didn't listen. What else is new?
The new English teachers come into the class. They sit at the back. My students were not used to having a girl English teacher. Since my school always needed a male to take the beatings. Insert me as a rag-doll here.
The bad student starts talking as soon as they come in, "Oohhh her chest is so big, I want to touch". He keeps staring at the girls. I'm kind of pissed off that he is so rude even though I didn't think the other foreigners understood what he was saying. Then he looks at the Chinese Canadian girl "Is she Japanese? She seems weird for Japanese, but her chest is big too". The other students aren't reacting to what he is saying. Then he starts talking to the guy behind him saying he is going to look at the two gaijin and touch himself. OK, I'm a bit angry but I try to let it slide. I know he is bad, but he is making me look bad (even though I realized the English teachers didn't understand the dirty words coming out of his mouth). I didn't like it. Sometimes its nice to understand Japanese, other times not. If I said the kind of stuff he said, I would have had a bar of soap in my mouth, trust me, it DOES NOT TASTE GOOD!
Finally the class starts and the kid keeps blabbing as I try to get the students to repeat after me. I'm getting angry that he never shuts up and is so rude but try not to show it.
Finally the older teacher helper is trying to talk to him to settle him down. He is like "Get out of my face old hag, you stink". On this point he was correct, she was an old hag and she stank but that's a different story (which I've already posted in this blog if you haven't read it). Read it after if you haven't already.
He keeps telling her to get away and is threatening her. I didn't feel good about this, because apart from her being a hag and smelly she was an elderly lady and didn't speak any English (yet supposedly was to help in an English class? Seriously WTF!?). So this is also making me angry, plus the new English teachers can see this and do understand because regardless of the words he was saying he was acting threatening towards her. I cast a look at Deo and Mike and they see what's going on. May and Janna seemed more into the class and were doing a good job of ignoring the bad student.
Finally he starts calling to the girls "Hey big boobs, big boobs!!". I think Janna knew that he was talking to them cause she said something like"Turn around and listen!" He was like, "I don't know what the F#^# she is saying". Since we all start ignoring him he is now getting angry. I can tell by this sly look he is up to no good and planning something. Repeat I did warn the head teacher he is bad news.
Finally he grabs a hanger and bends it to hit other kids with. At first he is just hitting their desks and he is getting closer to them. This is the last straw for me. The head English teacher is doing jack sh#$, and the head of the education board is there and also doing jack. I'm like WTF? If I give him a gun and knife then will you finally react?

Yes you look super cool awesome and stand out, but kindly don't be a douche.

So I figure the best solution is to just take it away and continue as if nothing happened. So he is threatening this girl beside him and she keeps saying "Stop!" but he doesn't. So I walk over and I'm reading the textbook out loud and I grab the hanger. I walk back to the front desk and throw the hanger in the garbage. He starts yelling in Japanese "I'm getting angry, very angry! I'm going to get you, you are going to pay for that". I block him out and keep my face glued to the page trying to finish with the kids as the class is getting near the end. Then, all of the sudden I see some movement out of the corner of my eye. I try to ignore it as I wanted to get the text done. Suddenly someone grabs me by the shirt and tie and throws me on a desk ninja style (at mach 5 speed). I'm like whoaaaaa, Jesus! Finally Shobana and the head English teacher strike into action and grab his fist as he is about to smash it into my face. Better late than never I guess. I don't need plastic surgery on my nose, its big enough.
They kick him out of the class as he tells me he is going to kill me. Not with a hanger please, seems a bit too painful.
I rearrange my tie and shirt and continue on with the lesson. At this point I'm as sweaty as can be. So I'm like fu#k let's do this bitch and get it over with. I continue with the bullshit dialogue and the class ends.
After the class is over all the teachers watching say I did well under the pressure and it was sad I had to deal with that kind of crap everyday. I didn't tell them but I almost crapped myself (I think I did a little). I could feel the diarrhea ready to burst under the pressure.



Deo's Version
That dude got beat down.


Mike's Version
It was funny.


My blogpost about the old lady teacher.
The Toxic Smell of Age
http://memoirsgaijin.blogspot.ca/2011/12/toxic-smell-of-age.html

I think I need Wayne Brady's help next time.
If you found anything above amusing or even slightly funny help me out and click one of those boxes above or give me a Google +1 or something. Might come in handy in the future.



Other funny stories from this blog 
http://memoirsgaijin.blogspot.ca/

My blog about everyday life (not Japan related)
http://eyethroughtheglass.blogspot.ca/


My Youtube Channel 
(makes no sense just like my blog)
http://www.youtube.com/user/judoka4eva


Saturday, June 30, 2012

A Soccer Kick to the Demon Student part 2

Have you ever wanted to a soccer kick someone in the face?
I have.
It sounds mean, and guess what. It is!


Part 2

This looks bad, but I totally wanted to do it. Soccer boots on as well.

If you didn't read my last post, please read it first. 
http://memoirsgaijin.blogspot.ca/2012/06/soccer-kick-to-demon-student-part-1.html

If you don't have time or don't want to, the gist is that this one kid was evil and happened to be the devil's spawn. He wanted to test to see how Zen I was. I wasn't at all and lost control.
Back to the original story, after he sprayed himself with perfume and with the heat all the kids started complaining. He picked on the nicest, smartest kid in the class who was sitting beside him and he sprayed her in the face with the perfume. I was furious. She was this little quiet, helpless kid, who he chose to abuse because he is the biggest bully. This demon child physically abuses teachers and students and is getting away with it.
I told him to stop it. I don’t recall now if I spoke in English or Japanese, but either way he got the message I was not impressed.
He came to the back of the classroom where I was standing and shoulder checked me into the wall. He seemed to be walking out of the class.
I lost it. I grabbed him by the shirt and slammed him into the door. He started punching me in the face and chest which made me more angry. Of course I couldn’t really punch him, since he is a kid. Although one of the Japanese English teachers used to tell me someday I should try, since the chances of me getting sued or kicked out of Japan were less due to me not being Japanese.
He fell against the door and I pushed him harder. He grabbed me by the trachea (throat) and started to try to crunch my windpipe.

Double spelt wrong. Only I choked he kicked me in the balls.

 Since I was so angry, I didn’t feel much. Occasionally adrenaline comes in handy. He kicked me in the balls and I pushed him again. Finally due to the door being a sliding door and both of us leaning on it, it slide open and we fell into the hallway.
He was swearing like bloody murder and some of the hallway teachers came to see what was happening. He kicked me in the balls again and I kept coming forward, as if to show him no matter what he tried to do, I could destroy him.
He tried to punch me and I avoided it, then he kicked me in the nuts harder, which I could feel. I felt like I peeing blood. Not a great feeling to say the least. I don't suggest you try it.
As his last kick hit me in my balls and I felt like my spleen split, I grabbed his foot. At Judo I had practiced a move about 1000 times where once you grab the foot you kick/ sweep out the remaining leg. This ends up with the person either landing on their back and their wind knocked out on mats, or if on the streets, the head hitting the cement and their brains falling out. I thought about this for at least ten seconds. I could have ended it right there, but it might have ended up being permanently for him. I was trying to think rationally through the anger and adrenaline. 

Imagine me throwing you super speed on your head on cement.

I let his leg go and he tried to kick me again, luckily this time due to the previous hit my hips automatically moved back (like Elvis) trying to protect my groin from further damage. A female teacher came forward to try to restrain him and he slugged her in the face. I couldn’t believe it. I stepped on his foot and again I thought about letting him have it. I was so close to destroying him I can’t even tell you. At that point I didn’t care he was 15 years old, my size and technically a child. He was a demon that deserved some punishment.
I stepped off his foot and gave him a swift kick to his shins to level things out. Until that point I hadn’t laid a finger on him in retaliation for his kicks to my balls, punches and shoulder check. I couldn’t contain my anger anymore.
The female teacher was holding her face in pain. As I kicked him in the shin he let out a squeal like I had stuck a knife in him. Dude, I kicked you in the shin. You just slugged a lady in the face! Man up!
Finally a male teacher came and he pushed him away. Finally a few more teachers came and they managed to subdue him. They started to pull him away. At this point I looked down and my shirt and realized not only was it ripped, but there was blood on it, I didn’t know where it was from but when I felt my lip I realized my lip was cut open. My throat had fingernail blood marks and I felt like peeing blood. Maybe I can donate the blood?
The English teacher suggested I go to the staff room to go get a new shirt. Seemed like a good idea at the time. Just my luck, that demon student was standing at the staffroom while they tried to settle him down. Seriously? That is unlucky.
He ran at me as fast as he could and yelled. I thought perhaps at this point he might be scared of me, since I doubt many teachers kick students in the shin, or retaliate in anyway.
He pretended to punch me, but I had no reaction. I thought maybe it would show him how weak he is, that I don’t care if he hits me, I’ll keep coming forward and crush him whenever I want. I felt like I was a black panther (civil rights movement for African Americans in USA.) only I'm not black and my goal isn't as important.
He charged at me again, the female teacher who had got punched in the face a few minutes before begged him to stop, she literally begged him. I felt really bad for her. It was like she was begging for him to let me live. Maybe she expected the worse from him, a knife in my back. Great.
As he tried to punch me again, she turned her back on him and covered me from punches. That was nice, although the few male teachers that were left tried to control him. I headed to the staff room.
It seems like the remaining staff knew what was happening. I was told I should to the principal’s office to hide. It was like I was in protective custody. Its a kid though I thought, can't they just suspend him? He repeated about 100 times how he was going to kill me. I should have recorded it and turned it into a song. It might have caught on for the other demon children.

I hide in the principal’s office. He tried to gain access to the principal’s office by kicking the door from the hallway and punching the windows. I was laughing a bit, it seemed a bit overly dramatic and ridiculous.
After another hour of him being a drama demon, they said it might be safe for me to return to the staffroom.
I didn’t know if they were joking but they told me I should be careful in the hallways, as he may be waiting for me. I was like ummm OK.
I pictured him sharpening a pencil to stab me with. At least he is using a pencil for once I thought.
I managed to survive for the next few weeks.
One of the muscular American guys whose Japanese wife happened to work at my school knew about the situation.
During a JET English teacher meeting, they asked if anyone was having any issues. My teacher had asked me to keep the story on the down-low for the school’s sake and my own, since it was suggested to me, it was mostly my fault for setting him off.
I didn’t say anything, I had already mentioned my school was difficult and I was abused regularly, but no one took notice. Thanks by the way if you are reading this. HA!
I don’t want to compare myself to a crime victim, but it was definitely like being victimized and even though trying to report it, no one listens. Plus I didn't feel like bringing it up, since who is gonna believe I got beat by a child.
The head of the prefecture was at the meeting and he came over. As he was about to finish the meeting, the American guy said “Listen. I know this guy and he is getting beat by his students. This person doesn’t want to ruffle any feathers, release his name or his school's name but he was told BE LIKE BRUCE LEE when a student attacked him. Can anything be done or what!?”. The person claimed he didn’t know there were any issues and that if that was the situation he would like to know what he can do to solve it.
I got a phone call the next day from that person. He informed me he had spoken to his Japanese government superiors, who informed him my school was a special situation and not much could be done. I was like damn! He told me the only way I could switch schools was if for some reason I had a terrible medical condition they couldn't deal with in my town.
For the first time in my life I wish I had something serious, like the black plague.


If you found anything above amusing or even slightly funny help me out and click one of those boxes above or give me a Google +1 or something. Might come in handy in the future.



Other funny stories from this blog 
http://memoirsgaijin.blogspot.ca/

My blog about everyday life (not Japan related)
http://eyethroughtheglass.blogspot.ca/


My Youtube Channel 
(makes no sense just like my blog)
http://www.youtube.com/user/judoka4eva

 

Friday, June 29, 2012

A Soccer Kick to the Demon Student Part 1

"A Swift Kick to the Shin should level things out I thought".


Have you ever wanted to a soccer kick someone in the face?
I have.


One my evil students, one of the worst in the school did his best to see if I could contain composure while going off at me. Unfortunately for him, I couldn’t.
I cannot emphasize how terrible he was. I heard him say a lot of terrible things, swear at minorities (Brazilian/ and Me), be racist, punch or kick teachers, say sexual comments to female teachers and abuse other students. He was never reprimanded to my knowledge. When I asked why he such a bad kid, a few of the teachers told me “His parents are divorced”. Dude, are you kidding me? Get of jail card because his parents are divorced, seriously WTF!?

I recall one day while attending a gym class the gymnasium was split into two sections, one for basketball and one for volleyball. One of the psychologists was there. She was saying something to him and he grabbed the volleyball and threw it into her face. I was across the gym and I could still see the upset / hurt look on the psychologist’s face. She never came back to the school. I wish I could say it was the last day for me too.

Ouch, that hurts. 


I also helped out during gym doing Judo classes, as you know I am part Ninja. It was OK until his class showed up. I hoped since Judo is quite a dangerous sport he would not do anything stupid.
Of course, he was an idiot so I should have been thinking how to minimize the stupid things he is about to do.
We practiced a throw which involves putting your leg between the person’s leg and throwing them. This throw could be slightly altered however by turning the throw into a kick to the balls, and of course the person would jump, instead of get thrown.

See where the nut kick comes in? Doesn't feel good.

After witnessing him do this to a few of his friends, the head Judo teacher was laughing about it. I didn’t see humour in getting a guys balls kicked in, but he far outranked me, so I shut my mouth.
Finally the head teacher says all the kids will get to throw our foreigner judo teacher (me) with their favourite throw and to announce the throws name before they did it.
When I got to him, I saw a glint in his devilish eyes. He said “Uchi mata” the throw which I stated above can be turned to a ball kick. As he went to put his foot into my nuts, I jumped avoiding the kick to the nuts. He yelled out “WTF! THIS GUY IS A WIMP! He is afraid of me!”.
And guess what, I was! He’s becomes the devil’s spawn due to his parents getting divorced. Cue cry me a river by Justin Timberlake here please. I don’t recall any of my friends whose parents are divorced do that kind of crap.


One day while the school it was hot as hell, he was doing his typical mouthing off thing. Saying stupid things and harassing other students. The main English teacher had left the room to get some papers from the staff office.
This left me with the devil incarnate and twenty other kids. Another five of them being his demon friends with heat that did feel like the fires from hell.
This one particular day he decided to spray himself with perfume. I would like to say it was cologne since he is a man, but due to its smell I can only guess it was some old lady’s perfume.
There could have been a number of reasons he doused himself with this foul smelling crap. On the top of the list is that either he smelled like smoke because he liked to do underage smoking, or perhaps the later, that he was an ass and wanted to annoy and harass other students.
Might have been a combination.
I never liked the kid and felt like there was something very wrong with him in the head. The things I had seen him done and the way he interacted with the other kids told me he was one bad dude.
There was weekly psychologists there to assess the kids. I didn’t really have much contact with them, but they came in and had talks with the bad kids, or would watch them interact in classes. They didn’t really say much to me personally, although I did one time breakdown to one of them and told her I wanted to soccer kick one of the kids in the face. I wondered if that was right to tell her, or if I had teacher patient, school psychologist confidentiality. Probably not.
I would hope its not abnormal to want to kick someone in the face.
Everyone must want to do it at some point in time to someone right?

BLOG Part 2 next time...... for continuation

Click here for Part 2
http://memoirsgaijin.blogspot.ca/2012/06/soccer-kick-to-demon-student-part-2.html

Ya like that. Only he sees it coming less.

If you found anything above amusing or even slightly funny help me out and click one of those boxes above or give me a Google +1 or something. Might come in handy in the future.



Other funny stories from this blog 
http://memoirsgaijin.blogspot.ca/

My blog about everyday life (not Japan related)
http://eyethroughtheglass.blogspot.ca/


My Youtube Channel 
(makes no sense just like my blog)
http://www.youtube.com/user/judoka4eva



Blog Directory Top Blog Sites

http://blogname.blogspot.com/feeds/posts/default?alt=rss