Haircut and Throatcut Please, I'll take both

Time for a Japanese Haircut, or throat cut, depending on what you'd like sir.

Well... I'll take both!

 I think he is gonna use that on my head, or possibly my throat. At least he looks happy to see me.

Repost from my older blog.


So I went to get my haircut today. It was the usual place I've been going in Vancouver. I go to this really cheap place 6$ plus taxes. Although it just went up to 8$, which is still pretty good. I went to an authentic Japanese salon in Vancouver and it cost 40$. Who wants to pay that? Especially for a guys haircut. I could probably give myself a bowl cut, with a shaver and pay nothing. 8$ is my kind of price.

So the only reason the place is so cheap is because its full of students that cut your hair. Today I had someone new. She was Chinese and I said "Do you speak any other languages?". She said she spoke Chinese and I'm like oh good for you. Then, she says to me "Are you Christian?". Since Christianity has nothing to do with language I thought it was weird. I was going to say no way, but thought she might be, so just to play it safe. Not exactly, I have no religion. "Oh!", she answered. I said, "Well, are you Christian?". "Yes", she answered.
Then she looks at me, "You seem nice, even though you aren't Christian". "Thanks I guess?", I answered. I guess the other 6 billion inhabitants of the world can't be nice cause they aren't Christian? 
I told her I lived in Japan and she asked me if there were many Christians. Again a weird question to start off a question, I get the feeling she only has religion on her mind. Since there are very few in Japan, I answered no, not really. There are about 1 million of the 135 million and the majority of Japanese tend to include themselves as belonging to more than one denomination, be it Shinto, Christian or Buddhist. One might say they use whatever religion conveniences them.
She said, "I see". 
End of conversation.... Silence for the rest of the haircut. 
At least the haircut didn't turn out that bad. It was a bit like this picture below.

Its not that noticeable right? No one will say anything.

Since it was silent I started to daydream and remember getting my haircut in Japan. It was kind of funny.
I went to this really cheap place near the Heiwado Super Market in our small town. It was like 1300 yen or $15, which is fairly cheap by Japan standards. They always asked me if I wanted a facial shave. Well, since the shave was always included in the price of course I wanted a shave. I would make sure I wouldn't shave the day of, to get extra value for my money. Always thinking I be. 
The only problem was that they would ask me to lean back as far as I could. I felt like I was a pig about to have my throat cut open to bleed. As I leaned back they would put boiling towels on my face, presumably to open the pores (or my skin with the blade). It felt good, but when they brought a huge blade across my throat I used to worry so much I could feel my heart race and probably super pronounced through the skin of my neck like an alien trying to escape my body. Since I had never seen Sweeney Todd Demon Barber or whatever its called, I could only make my own images in my mind of having my throat slit. Since I have a massive Adam’s apple I was always worried that it was about to get shaved off.

Now imagine that guy in Japanese form and a bigger blade and telling you to lean back and relax.

Luckily, aside from a little blood, I never got cut too badly. Afterward, they would wash down my face, shampoo my hair (for an extra 200yen or $2.50) and finish the cut, with a soft massage by a girl. Oh boy the massage was nice! I'm not going to lie. I wish they gave massages at Canadian places at a reasonable price, I'd be in there everyday and if they said you'd have to get your hair re cut, I'd do it!
One day at school I told my students where I got my haircut and they all laughed. I wondered what was so funny. Finally they told me that's where criminals worked. I wasn't sure if they were joking. I did think all the people who worked there, seemed like smoking, darker skinned (sometimes discriminated against in Japan), no teeth or gold teeth typed people. It didn't really matter to me since the price was right and so was the service. Unless of course, they did plan on cutting me for the extra 500 yen (5$ in my pocket).
I finally asked one of the English Japanese teachers what he thought of Samitto (Summit Barber). "Oh", he answered, "Actually I wouldn't go there. I think its all former criminals released from jail. I heard the government helps sponsor the place". WTF? I was going to a place where criminals just got out of jail ?
I thought someone was playing a joke on me. Apparently one of the students mom's worked there. I had mentioned numerous times at Samitto, that I worked at a really bad school called East Junior High where the students were all asses. Well, now I found out I was probably telling their parents. Whoops! Always good to dig yourself a grave, I'm sure someone there could throw me in. 
Some students also told me to look for signs, like slit wrist scars and neck scars or missing fingers.
I started to keep my eyes open for these things. I was surprised by how many I saw. I felt bad for the women who were cleaning my head, since I could see massive scars across their wrists where I assumed they had tried to commit suicide.
I also wondered when they washed my hair if they might want to hold my head under the water to kill me. I would, my Japanese isn't that great anyways, probably annoying to them to listen to my broken Japanese.
Every time I leaned back when I saw the barber with his sharp blade and his golden teeth, I worried he might want to "accidentally" cut me a little. 
They also used to stick a little mini shaver in my ear to cut out the hair. It tickled a lot and I used to laugh non stop. Some of the women would ask if I was OK. I wondered how come I was the only one that ever laughed? I must have a lot of old man hair in my ear or something.

Actually the whole thing seems pretty funny looking back at it now.
I only went to that place a few more times. We became friends with a girl that worked at a really high end hair salon across town. That has a few stories too, but not related to throat cuts or drownings. I think we got a deal from her.
When I broke my neck though and they were trying to wash my hair onetime, I felt like I was losing consciousness as my spine appeared to be snapping in half. When I mentioned I was in a bit of pain, they asked how much and I said "to the brink of death". I think they thought I was joking.
Sadly, I wasn't!

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Other funny stories from this blog 
http://memoirsgaijin.blogspot.ca/

My blog about everyday life (not Japan related)
http://eyethroughtheglass.blogspot.ca/


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http://www.youtube.com/user/judoka4eva