Underwear and Departure Time

This is kind of what the airport looked like. Only underwear was flying everywhere.

After three years in Japan, I realized I had acquired a lot of treasure (aka junk). I have a problem with throwing stuff out. I wouldn’t do it (and still won't). I put the bags together of all the things I wouldn't be carrying back to Canada in my suitcases, yes plural. Rubber chicken. Why do I have it and why do I need it in the future? Ten never used ice packs, why do I have so many? Ten rubber balls, what the heck? Am I five years old? Where did they even come from? A pair of women’s panties that say dollar store on them. Was that a gift to me? (from myself to myself?). Maybe I have split personalities.
I contemplating carrying some VHS tapes back, I had acquired about one hundred VHS tapes across the three years (and no not the Xrated versions). Of course, I no longer had a VHS player, but I imagined sometime in the future I could get one. Too bad VHS sucks and they are big and cumbersome. No room in my bags for it.
I gave the three large plastic bags of treasures (junk) to my Mexican-American friend, let’s call him Fernando. I knew he would stay for at least another year in Japan. Like me, he had acquired many things throughout his years and he didn't throw anything out. I knew the rubber chicken would not be going to the trash bin, instead it would continue its life cycle of uselessness.

I thought about keeping it. I'm sure I could use it somehow in the future. Or not!

As I packed my bags for home, I decided I should bring my desktop computer. The only problem was it was massive. I dismembered it (and by that I mean disassembled), and packed it in pieces.
Now for clothes. I don’t know why exactly but I had a lot of tighty whities and boxers. I guess because compared to Canada they were one of the only things that were relatively cheap. I could buy a pair at the dollar store (Daiso in Japan). I bought so many pairs I thought they would last years to come or more likely based on their quality, rip in half very soon.
I sent eight boxes full of stuff back to Canada by boat (the cheapest way possible). I still had over packed, and then even though I had read the weight restriction was 30 pounds, my wife had seen a note saying an additional $20 for $20 more pounds. Seemed so cheap so I made all my luggage weigh 50 pounds. Maybe I could put a small child in my bags too to pay for my ticket!
When we got to the airport to check in, there was a large line. To top it off, we didn't arrive early enough and I was super stressed. When we got to the front of the line the Japanese-American service clerk weighed my bag. “This bag is 50 pounds! The max is 25 pounds”. I was like WTF. I informed him the website said an additional $20 for 20 pounds. “Are you kidding me?”, he answered. I wasn't sure that was polite to a seven star General (I just made that up!). He said there was no way it was possible and he couldn't even calculate how much it would cost to go over the 25 pound limit in his head in costs. I was like oh shi$. He told us we better repack our bags. I started throwing my stuff everywhere. Since underwear weighed the least I decided to remove some of the heavier computer parts (motherboard, hard drive). I started throwing my underwear everywhere, all over the desk, on the floor, on peoples feet behind me. I could hear the older Japanese ladies laughing in line.
I was laughing too, I couldn't remember if I had washed any of those underwear! The joke was on them.
After fifteen minutes our Mission Impossible became Mission Possible. Maybe I'll get a new eight star General ranking? We ran like hell to the postal outlet at the airport. We were lucky they even had one there. I threw computer parts, my LCD monitor, my Playstation 2 etc into the box. I actually had to buy the boxes there, so I bought the cheapest ones (surprise). I hoped everything would be OK when it arrived in Canada delayed a few weeks after I would arrive.
When I rebuilt the computer at home, sparks shot out of the motherboard. Seems some fuses blew and parts of the motherboard has cracked in transit.
The only good news is it still seemed to function, although it smelled like an electrical fire for a few months. My nose lost some smell after being near it for long enough.
Oh and as for the underwear, I decided to play it safe and wash all of them for once.

I took the high road and washed all of them. They were fine I'm sure. Kind of like this one. Looks clean right? Just turn it inside out my friend Ken always tells me.

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Other funny stories from this blog 
http://memoirsgaijin.blogspot.ca/

My blog about everyday life (not Japan related)
http://eyethroughtheglass.blogspot.ca/


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