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| Been there, done that (I mean.... No.... I haven't). |
And I don't mean like fake goods, though I shouldn't dismiss those either. I did have a few Lolex (Rolex) from China. They were dirt cheap compared to the real thing and left a yellow mark on my wrist. It was awesome! Like a free "fake" tan.
I also had some North Fake jackets. My friends in Canada were like oh you bought a North Face jacket? I said no, I bought in China and they noticed it was either North Fake or North Facs.
But don't tell Japanese friends that, I tried mentioning about fake goods onetime and my Japanese friends thought its like the evilest thing to buy and to wanted to call the FBI on me. Or whatever the equivalent in Japan was (JBI? MIB?). MIB isn't that funny I guess.
But regarding this post its a testament to the Japanese well oiled machine of "fake" social skills.
I like to call it being "fake" to make it easy to understand as its somewhat similar to our meaning.
You know in the West, a lot of people take sh#t for being fake. I remember in High School a lot of girls saying so and so is so fake. Fake nails, fake hair, fake eyelashes, fake body part ABC. Or that she just pretends she likes something but hates it, that may be more a little in tune.
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| What's wrong with that? My Lolex said it too. |
Japanese fake is kind of similar, but bring the notch up a bit cause everyone does it. If someone said they are so fake, they'd be covering everyone.
When someone pours hot boiling coffee (or we can substitute that for green tea) on you, you just smile and say I'm sorry for being in the way. When in actuality the MOFO that just did it is totally at fault and might I add, a total ass. The person that did the spilling should offer compensation and bow, ideally on the ground with their face near your feet (you better hope they don't smell like doggy do do. Mine usually do).
I remember seeing people on trains during rush hour packed. People are trying to get off and among the pushing, some ladies are losing their shoes (heels). They just smile while hobbling with one shoe. Just go without it, pretending like nothing is wrong. Since its a heel its even worse, its like hobbling with a pirate's wooden leg, totally off balance. Hmm, that wasn't overly funny either.
If I had lost my shoe, I'd probably press the Emergency STOP button for the train and tell everyone to start looking. I'd call the Japanese S.D.F (self defence force) and tell them start looking, it must be here somewhere (that's funny). If they have a national guard to call them out too.
I recall a few times while buying groceries, thinking well thanks for helping me, but in Japan the cashier is bagging your stuff and bowing, thanking you for your business. Its great and very fake.. Those few business' in Canada where they say "Thank you for your business, please come again".
I usually do. I'm a sucker for fakery (and as I already mentioned about Lolex).
It also has to do with language.
In Canada we can say "Hi" to strangers on the street, not a big deal.
I recall a few times, I figured well why not greet people like in Canada.
One guy was running towards me and I greeted him "Konnichi Wa!" He didn't know how to react, seemed like an electric eel had just zapped him. But he mumbled something back to me, which may have been an attempt to speak an English greeting back, "HAROOO". It reminded me of that South Park TEAM AMERICA movie with Kim Jong Il. On a sidenote I have a Korean friend at work last name Kim. Thought he may be related, but he informs me only 60% are named Kim, another 30% Parks, and the other randoms.
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| It just like that. Not better. |
It definitely helps the society to be well oiled and cause less friction in situations.
Mind you, its a skill to know when someone is being genuine or not. Most of us foreigners are terrible at it. I probably mentioned in Japan you are supposed to refuse a gift a few times when given something. I would always just say sure and take it. If someone said no, I'd respond OK, just take the gift and eat it (even when it wasn't food, ha funny). On the bright side no one said they hated my soul, they just smiled and went back to what they were doing. It may have been "fake" and they did hate my soul.
I guess Valentine's Day is a similar thing and only a plus for men.
In Japan women gives men Valentine's chocolate. Ladies first... oh sorry this is Japan, men first, especially through the door or walking on the street.
I always thought I did quite well, till I found out that in Japan there is something called "giri choco". Giri is obligation and choco is chocolate. So basically chocolates they don't want to give, but have to. On the plus side every man is going to get at least one chocolate, on the negative side, 99% are fake and the person probably hates your guts, but gives it to you out of an obligation. Somehow I don't feel that bad about it, and gladly accepted it.
I love Japan. Or am I just being fake.
That's for you to guess and me to ponder.
Let me know if you see any good Lolex, the hands on mine don't turn anymore.
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| I didn't mean this cheap, has to look slightly more convincing than this. |
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