I use to have a co worker (in Canada) that always said "my staffs always listen to me". I wanted to slap him across the face (he was my boss, so maybe not a good idea).
It used to piss me off to no end (just like a Duracell battery? It kept going and going... and going....)
 |
| Its probably not worth being strangled by Darth Vader. Get it right! Its a command not a suggestion. |
There are many words that the Japanese language has borrowed from English and Japacized (not to be confused with infanticide, and not nearly as terrible to most people, but to me both are disgraceful.
For some reason, certain words make me shudder and the only way to release my anger is to slap someone. Slap myself? Doesn't work, I tried!
PROTEIN. You know the stuff you get from meat and muscle builders eat a ton of.
In Japan its called PRO - TAIN. Like PRO but TAIN(T) minus the T. I just wanna slap the nearest person when I hear it. Its super annoying. I guess I should avoid the muscle bound types for slapping.
Dump Truck DANPUKAA
like as in DAN (name) PU (poo) kaah (like yelling kaaaaaaaaaa in a fight). Sounds like a child invented that word. I hate it with a passion (like Passion of the Christ, except no passion for Christ).
HORMONE(S) = HORUMON
I hate this word. WHORE MOHN (the MOHN is like the exact way a Jamaican would say MAN, MOUHN). As in hormones but also used when eating meat sometime at yakiniku (meat grilled on a BBQ). I hate it when someone asks "Do you want to eat hormones?" Sounds sick (and it is). LOL! I want to take that meat and put it where the sun don't shine (wait this sounds sexual). Its not supposed to be.
 |
| Seems a little overly direct. I like it. |
I guess I should play devil's advocate (more devil and less advocate) and state that in the West we also Anglicize (turn it into English) to make words sound better for us.
Here are a few reverse examples that may drive Japanese people insane (and slap someone around them).
SAKE- I've never heard anyone in the West say this right, its SAAH KE(H). Everyone says SAKEY, there is no key sound. When Japanese people are trying to figure out what the hell you want, you think you're funny giggling and they don't. They are trying to comprehend your horrendous Japanese pronunciation.
GEISHA (its gay shah) not GI SHA or GAI SHA. Gei (gay) means Art and Shah (person). A person of art, although Geisha have many skills, one of those about deflowering seems to be the only thing us Westerns take from them. They also have many skills such as conversational skills and language trickery, instrument playing, makeup skills, serving drinks and food, singing etc. Its a wide array of talents, not laying on their backs (even I could do that one. Sounds sexual again, tone it down).
ORIGAMI, as in OREA(H) GAHME not ORAH GAMI. ORU means to fold, and becomes ORI, GAMI means paper, so literally you are saying folded paper. Everytime you say it wrong they probably want to fold you (in a really painful way).
TEMPURA (tem puhhh rah). Don't say Tampura or Tamponra. I don't want to eat tampons or have it get mixed up with my food (again). Its a joke although a dirty one. You probably just shuddered.
 |
| Sounds about right. Just replace grammar with English loan words. A bit of a mouthful though. |
If you found anything above amusing or even slightly funny help me out and click one of those boxes above or give me a Google +1 or something. Might come in handy in the future.
My Youtube Channel, wearing red tights and jumping around as Deadpool (but I say Dadpool to avoid copyright. Smarter than I look!)
Other funny stories from this blog
My blog about everyday life (not Japan related/ and maybe less amusing )
My Youtube Channel (makes no sense just like my blog)
A close friend of mine worked as an ALT (Assistant Language Teacher) for the Utsunomiya Board of Education ( "宇都宮市教育委員会" ) in Tochigi, Japan. He worked there for 2 years. The pay was below average and most of the Japanese teachers were allowed to treat the foreign English teachers in demeaning ways. The Japanese teachers were allowed to be racist and xenophobic in their treatment of the foreign teachers, because the Utsunomiya Board of Education allowed it. My friend joined a new Junior high school called Shiroyama Junior High School ( 宇都宮市 立城山中学校 ). He was very pleased to be given the chance to work there so he did his best to be polite and respectful to all of the Japanese teachers. But in the first month of working there a Japanese teacher forgot to ask my friend for a payment of around 10USD. As a result of this lack of communication, my friend was falsely accused of not paying the 10USD. My friend was accused of this in a loud uncivilized manner by the Japanese teacher in front of school students, a few teachers and the vice principal of the school. This happened in the Teachers Room. So my friend tried to explain that the Japanese teacher had forgotten to ask him for the payment. But the teacher refused to listen to my friend. Then a 3rd year teacher by the name of Mr. Akutsu, stood up and started to intimidate my friend. He started shouting abusively at my friend and then started walking in an intimidating fashion towards my friend. When he reached my friend he assaulted my friend physically. My friend was physically injured and in deep shock as he had never been treated like that in his life. He refused to defend himself physically but he did warn Mr. Akutsu to stop assaulting him. The vice principal was watching all of this just a meter away and did absolutely nothing to help. My friend then immediately left Shiroyama Junior High School and he obviously couldn’t continue to work there again. After a few days the Utsunomiya Board of Education tried to force my friend to return back to the school. The Utsunomiya Board of Education said that Mr. Akutsu made a small mistake! Crazy thinking from the Utsunomiya Board of Education! My friend still refused to return back to the unsafe environment of the school. Eventually my friend left the Utsunomiya Board of Education. Mr. Akutsu (the teacher who assaulted and injured my friend) was never reprimanded for his illegal behavior. His physical assault is deemed illegal under Japanese law. He is still employed at the Utsunomiya Board of Education. He is obviously very racist and xenophobic towards foreigners. His uncontrollable violent behavior, makes him dangerous to work around young children and even adult teachers in Utsunomiya. My friend said that working at the Utsunomiya Board of Education was the worst experience of his life. The Utsunomiya Board of Education pleaded with my friend not to tell anyone about what happened at Shiroyama Junior High School. They didn’t want the local newspapers to find out about the violent incident and they didn’t want the students’ parents to find out about it too. The Utsunomiya Board of Education 宇都宮市教育委員会 is indeed a sick place to work in.
ReplyDelete