Holy Time, Holy Crime!

Holy Time Holy Crime!

Its a rhyme...sorta.
No offense to my Buddhist friends in this story.

I was once on a trip to a place in Japan called Koyasan. It is essentially the most religious place in Japan. I was with around 20 other foreigners on a short trip. Koyasan is up this big mountain and has a number of religious sects (Buddhism of different varieties). They also have signs stating its a religious place and drinking is not allowed. I did know a monk or two who could drink so I wasn't sure if that was for the locals or the dirtier foreigners like myself coming to invade the holy land.

I should let it be known Koyansan (which means Mt.Koya) is up a really high mountain because it plays into the story. If I recall correctly it was an hour from Nara up this weird ancient cable car, that cut through a jungle or forest. My memory isn't great, but for sure it was an ancient cable car that creaked a lot. I was hoping we didn't fall into the abyss.

Anyways…. The point of the trip was to learn some Japanese religion. Somehow we didn't seem very interested. Unbeknownst to be, there were rules for this trip. No drinking and no fornicating. The fornicating is always going to happen with someone. I don't mean with me, I only hoped it was going to be me. Why not introduce a little liquor into the equation. 
Get this not so enlightened party started!  
Maybe if I added in some liquor my chances would go up too? Bonus!
Throw a few glow sticks in for good measure? Some rave music? Roll some Buddha beads.

I saw a liquor store, and althought I don't recall, I was told I said "Let's have a drink. What else are going to do?" I know I won't be seeing the 9th plain of enlightenment, because when I think I'm reaching nirvana the blood circulation cuts off in my legs my legs fall asleep. It hurts like you wouldn't believe. I recall a story about one guy who broke his families tea sets that had been in the family since the beginning of time (before dinosaurs). Maybe not that long, but fairly close to it.

What I learned at Koyasan. Oh and to drink as well, my idea? Hmmm.

We started to enjoy a few drinks. The rest of the night is a bit of a blur, but I recall a very terrible hangover and a dong waking me up at 6AM. As the monks chanted mantras, I chanted that I get through the day...alive. As they informed us we only need light to survive and the will of the Buddha, I needed water and possibly some greasy McDonald’s to get me through. I wondered what my chances were of finding a McDonald’s nearby. Afterall, I did find liquor.

For breakfast we had steamed vegetables so that didn't really help with the desire of the greasy meat. It was purifying my (perhaps evil) toxic foreigner soul. I had a feeling I was going to go through the 20 layers of Buddhist hell (as a sidenote I'll probably see some of you there. Something to look forward to).

A year later after returning from Canada, I met a student that had just got back from the same trip as me. One of the other schools kept tabs of all the issues of previous trips and how to improve them for next time. Somehow my name was etched in history. “THIS CANADIAN MALE elicited heavy drinking while on a trip in the most religious area of Japan, Koyasan. He had been warned no drinking at any time was allowed, but decided to peer pressure the other members of the group into a long night of debauchery (it means heavy drinking). He refused to eat breakfast and complained he wanted McDonald's, which was culturally insensitive to the hospitalable monks”.

I liked that, although not entirely true, at least I was remembered by future students, in a somewhat positive light.

I did remember when I went back to the school one of the teachers mentioned,

"So everyone had a great trip, but I think you in particular!"

HA! I wonder if he was the mother trucker who wrote the slightly alerted tabs of the trip.

I like this. Something magical about it. But where is McDonald's seriously?

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Other funny stories from my blog
 http://memoirsgaijin.blogspot.ca/


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