Love Hotels and CHRISTmas!

Love HOTELS and Christmas!

Never a good time like good old Christmas to make a little love.

Emphasis is not on the Christ I guess.

You see in Japan, Christmas isn't the same as back home, its a time to make jolly but only between two people. Insert some 70's porn music here. babam!

Yes…..exactly.

Santa has been stuffing chimney's. The chimney's aren't clean at this place. He also put a d$ck in a box I heard.

The chimney is stuffed ”per se”.

I’ll go as far as to say the lights will be “turned on”.

Everyone is getting a present. Some big some small.

You never know, you might even lick a candy cane.

There is a whole business in Japan where love hotels that cater to every fantasy exist.

I don’t even want to hear about animals or imagine it. Although I suspect there is even a hotel where you can make Rudolph's nose red if you are into weird Christmas themed stuff.

Someone once told me they saw a Titanic hotel in Tokyo. If you like, you can take your lady (or man) to the deck and throw them off. I mean put your arms around them and tell them sweet nothings (since you are there for only one thing, you know its a tangible gift).

These love hotels can be used anytime of year, but are particularly popular on Dec 25th when all younger couples get down and dirty.

Let's say the snow really falls during that time. Shibang! <--- cool sound effect.

I decided I had to try a love hotel just for the experience. I guess if I was looking to learn everything I should have gone with someone who understood what was happening, but instead I went with my non Japanese speaking wife.

We decided to have our friend lead us to her favourite love hotel. She mentioned that this one had a free cake included with the room which you can help yourself too. Free food! How can you go wrong?

We arrived at our love hotel which was Santa arching his hips in a sexual way. 
OK, I like this. I know a lot of people are getting coal this year.

We walked up to the door.

There were pictures of the rooms. There were some shaded with a Kanji (Chinese character). 
At that time I couldn't read it, but it said occupied. I should have learned that one.

I went up to the little window which had a curtain pulled across it.

“Hi, uhmmm do you take traveller’s cheques?”, I asked.

The curtain was pulled down across the window which felt like I was talking to a wall. I guess they aren’t supposed to know who you are and if you are with with someone else's wife. Nice!
A courtesy which most would appreciate.

I tried to pull the curtain down, which the lady held back in place and said she can’t see me.

I said I wanted to see her.

I mentioned that I was a foreigner and its easier if I can open the curtain. I couldn't think of a valid reason as to why that would help in any way, so I told her I read lips well and I was deaf.

Stupid I thought. But now I realize quite funny actually! And might I add ridiculous?

Ha! As Tigger would say RIDIKULOUS.

She opened the curtain. I asked her to help me chose a room.
“You pick and go to the room”, she explained.

I pressed one button and went up. There were directions in Japanese that was supposed to lead me to the room but my Japanese was terrible (at that time. Although some might argue now still). I tried to open a few occupied doors (I hope no one under-age inside, or the older person just had a heart attack).

Finally I found a door that seemed to be glowing as if to open it.

Once we went in there was Nintendo and a slot machine, I knew I came to the right place!

After we were done (sorry no details, that's called privacy. And yes of age). Let’s go with another Christmas theme and just say "the stockings were filled", if you catch my drift. 
I exited the room. I guess it went by the hour and we had gone over by a few minutes. Whoops.

The machine showed 50000 yen. I thought it meant due and I realized we were going to be in trouble, that was 500 dollars. I didn't know what to do so I ran back in the phone and told the helping lady it was the traveller’s cheques guy again and the machine didn't take traveller’s cheques. She came up and bowed and pretended to cover her eyes. At this point after we had become so chummy I'm not sure why she wanted to continue to play this game.

We paid the $30 and left.

I asked my friend what was with the 50000 yen. He said probably its like a full 24 hour rental or something. I said oh.

I told him thank god it wasn't my total, the lady didn't seem to be down with traveller’s cheques.

Since they didn't have dishes to wash I probably would have had to hand wash the sheets! Ewww!

HA!

Or LOVE HOTELS? I won't sign my name so you won't know who I am though.

Other funny stories from this blog 
http://memoirsgaijin.blogspot.ca/

My blog about everyday life (not Japan related)
http://eyethroughtheglass.blogspot.ca/ 


My Youtube Channel (makes no sense just like my blog)
http://www.youtube.com/user/judoka4eva