Feces At Karaoke

Feces at Karaoke

I may have mentioned before I was a student in Japan before being an English teacher.

I was on a program with students from all over the world, with different personalities. Some good, some not so good (mine’s good though).

Ha, I like.

One time we had a school trip to Shikoku Island (the kind of small one South of Kansai (Western Japan).
The students at a local University were hosting us and letting us stay at their place.

They all lived by themselves in super small apartments. For some reason or other my host didn’t have a proper heater and it was super cold. I tried wearing my socks, but someone told me its bad for circulation, so I took them off. That was all that came off (replace off with out, also OK) that night, I wish I had a female host to keep me warm. Joke, joke!

While sleeping my feet started to get warm and I started to giggle a few times as if someone was tickling the bottom of my feet. In the morning the Hawaiian guy who was sleeping with his head at my feet, was like “How was your sleep sweetheart? Mine would have been nice if you didn't keep sticking your stinky toes in my mouth. I tried to swat them away and I heard you laughing like a little girl”.  Sounded about right.

On the plus side I no longer needed a shower as his mouth and tongue had cleaned (cleansed) the sweat from my feet (as well as the lint). Bonus!

On our second night we went to a restaurant that was all you can drink. I imagine the restaurant had never seen such big foreigners ready to stir up some shi%t. It would have been fine if only the people who can handle their alcohol drank, but some of the nerdy types took it upon themselves to feel like they were a member of the in crew and couldn't handle their liquor (not me though for once).

We continued at karaoke and everyone kept drinking. I was doing pretty well and having a merry old time. When one of the guys threw up, one guy (a bigger American named Matt) helped him to the bathroom.

That drunk individual apparently decided it was a good time to go to the bathroom (no not a number one) while barely able to stand. Thirty minutes passed and he didn't come out.

The bigger guy who helped him went back to check on him. He jumped over the stall (yes not under). Would have been great to see. He found the individual slumped over passed out. He helped him stand up and asked another American guy to help carry him out. They both told me later they thought they smelled manure (feces). And continued to take him out.

Most people were thinking this guy was in bad shape and should be cut off his alcohol.

The smell of manure entered my nose from across the room. A poignant (big word for powerful) smell.

That's what the pit toilet probably said to him. No face on it though.

The individual started blabbering about aliens so I knew it was time to take him home. As he walked he was pushing things over, barely able to stand. Finally was we were walking down an alley he walked into a big karaoke sign (with flashing lights on it). The lights broke and the damage seemed extensive (oh shiz. I considered running). One of the Japanese students entered the karaoke place and told them the sign was broken. $750 to buy a new one they said. I was not aware until after the trip that the Japanese students went ahead and paid (Brutal. But very thoughtful). I think we should have blamed it on someone else myself. Something along the lines of “I saw an alien down the road that did it!”. This alludes to the fact the drunk guy mentioned aliens if you forgot that part already. If I have to explain it here its probably not as funny. If you are as astute as Sherlock Holmes you probably remember.

As we were walking the individual brushed by me, another American told me “Dude I think I see fecal stains on his clothes, watch out and don’t touch his clothes”. I looked.

I now understood where the smell had come from. He must have gone poopie on the floor then fell into it. When the two guys helped him they were probably getting covered with it.

The next day we were sitting on the bus and everyone was complaining it smelt like feces.

I don’t know if the individual forgot or had no other clothes, but he had not changed. I pitied his girlfriend sitting beside him. In addition to him smelling, he had a hangover and could throw up on her at anytime. Been there done that, never good. Not the feces part though (yet).

As we got off the bus, there was a bottle neck and I got pushed from behind (maybe on purpose, if yes then F you). As I was about to hit the individual and have dried feces enter my mouth the same guy who stopped me yesterday grabbed me and pulled me back.

He said “Dude you have to be more careful, I saved you again, do you have a death wish and want to be covered with crap?”.

Good question Watson (another Sherlock Holmes joke). I think not!

I later heard someone on the bus ask him what cologne he was wearing and then another guy responded, “Must be a real crap one”.

Ha! People are mean, but highly entertaining.

I bet he wishes it was a dream. Oh wait, he'd still do it.

Other funny stories from this blog 
http://memoirsgaijin.blogspot.ca/

My blog about everyday life (not Japan related)
http://eyethroughtheglass.blogspot.ca/ 


My Youtube Channel (makes no sense just like my blog)
http://www.youtube.com/user/judoka4eva