Memoirs of a Gaijin - An Unlucky English Teacher in Japan: October 2017

Well sorry to let you know but this story contains no crumpets whatsoever. It was just a ploy to get you here.
I'm hoping it will spark interest with people that have twisted minds (and turned on by crumpets). I'd hoped it would be have the same pull as for those people looking for the words "SEX HERE" (I should note I always auto respond YES PLEASE).
I fear now that perhaps it would only work on the Brits, as they all have a appreciation for CRUMPETS (or is that just a stereotype?). Let's hope its not, and someone is actually reading this (and I mean anyone, there may be some money in it for you if you are. On the other hand there may not be. Its more likely to be the latter).

I hope there is no tobacco in that pipe or this is going straight to the SPCA.

No this blogpost is about Green Tea and Crumpets which is like oil and water, they just can't mix (unless of course you want to use detergent to emulsify it. As everyone knows, detergent is attracted to both water and oil molecules. If you don't know that, that is your science lesson for today).

As you know (or I hope you do), tea is an important part of Japanese culture. I want to say green tea only, but maybe I should just say tea in general. Vending machine everywhere serve it, restaurants, a person's house, office etc. Essentially everywhere ("dokodemo" which means everywhere as the cute character Doraemon says when he throws out his magic door that can take him to anywhere he wants to go).
The traditional tea ceremony called "Cha no yu" also serves it, though that one is bitter, and is not my cup of tea. Ha! That's a word play, not my cup of tea and its about a cup of tea. MWAHHWHHA why am I so funny with word play? I should seriously consider taking up rap. Though personally I never trust "white privilege" kids rapping about the hard life on the streets and living in the ghetto. They should be rapping about how their MacBook stopped working, and why their sweater gots a tear in the elbow (ya gots not got). Maybe about their Starbucks Venti (Italian coffee words brutal) being too hot. Cause that's too legit (to quit). I think I just stole that from a real rapper.... moving on.

I was lucky because I lived with a host family, so I was lucky to experience the changing seasons of teas. Different ones are served at different kinds of year just like the weather. Barley tea called Mugicha is served in summer. Its nice, especially when served cold from the fridge. My hostfamily liked to serve it with ice, so it was extra yum yum. I don't know how long you are supposed to leave it in the plastic pourer, but I found mine was mouldy or nasty when I made it myself after I was living on my own (like a bigboy at age 25). I left the teabags in it, perhaps its supposed to be removed and not big in the fridge while its still hot.

Naturally I do the Jedi way. I'll say I'm a natural, Yoda didn't even train me.

Winter, when its cold and depressing was served with a nice ryokucha (green tea) at my school. Tea ceremony and Starbucks served MACCHA (powered green tea, Starbucks one is super sugary).
A lot of the Sushi restaurants we went to served konacha (leftover junk green tea). Its like the low grade tea cause its bits and pieces of stems, small leaves, leftover leaves whatever thrown together. I liked it the most (cause I'm lowgrade I assume), and best of all its free (also a bonus) at most restaurants.

A lot of the Chinese restaurants served Oolong tea (also here in Canada at most Chinese places) or Jasmine cha (flowery one).

I always felt like I was surrounded by tea and I liked that. I also enjoyed all those maccha flavour candy, like Kitkats or other snacky snacks. Luckily lots of sugar to make up for the bitterness.

Seems to be a little upset, I suggest we get some now. Guessing she must be British. What is she a Queen (on TV she is LOL).

I read a few studies that said tea is a great drink for health due to the catechins (antioxidants). Most varieties have less caffeine than coffee. Interestingly monks like it cause it keeps them awake during the meditations (but to me Nirvana is sleep, so I would skip the tea).
There are some studies that seem to indicate that green tea helps with weight loss as one of the extracts helps the body to burn fat. I've always wondered why the Japanese are so thin compared to Westerner's. I don't think that's the only reason, but it may contribute to it.

I remember bringing some really nice green tea back from Japan. I gave it to my grandparents and told them this is the good stuff (not cheap for once), so enjoy it.
I found my grandmother drinking a cup that was an unrecognizable mud colour. I asked her what she was drinking, and she informed me the nice tea I bought her.
Nice tea has become mud, like that movie Slumdog Millionaire when the little boy jumped into the outhouse toilet hole (gross). I asked my grandmother why that colour? She said I added a lot of sugar and cream. Sugar and cream I thought? I've never heard of it with green tea, unless its maccha, and unfortunately for her, this wasn't maccha.

I figured at this point as might we well offer her a crumpet to go along with her not so green tea anymore, but then again, she's not British.