I sometimes wonder if Japan is becoming more Westernized due to more foreigners (evil one's of course) invading Japan or if there is a delay that trickles slowly over time. Over a few years I found a lot of things changed in Japan.
Like Chinese water torture upon someone’s brow (that's the imagery
seems nice to start us off, because that's how my story feels like it ended and its still dripping on my head).
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| I hope its a golden wrapper to the chocolate factory again, but I fear its not! |
I recall onetime as a student going with my friend Colin,
who incidentally used to tell me I’m an idiot and don’t know anything
(semi-true I guess). I met him at Uni in Victoria. He always seemed drunk to
me. He did enjoy beer, so many he was (easier to get through class that way I guess). He was from some kinda famous posh private
high school in Victoria. You would think he'd be a complete di#k (he was only 50% of the time) but somehow I found him funny, and for whatever reason(s) he hung out with us. Though he did have some "higher end more posh friends" he also hung with.
Once I went to Japan, he was going to a more prestigious
University (since I was an idiot I didn’t go to Uni’s as good as him I
guess). We met one time in Kyoto after I arrived for food.
We were desperate for food and hanging out with some random
foreigners he knew (and they are evil cause they are foreigners too). It was like 2 pm and we didn’t know where to go. Usually there
is food everywhere in Japan. Like every freakin block has a restaurant but for
some reason the area was nothing (if my life was a movie I'd just need to add a few tumbleweeds like an old Western movie. You know those dust balls that roll through town when its dead quiet).
Finally after wandering what seemed like forever (at least 10 minutes), he said let’s go in the train station basement as it connects to a mall. We found a restaurant finally that looked closed & walked in (cause that's what you do when it looks closed, barge in. At least evil foreigners do).
Finally after wandering what seemed like forever (at least 10 minutes), he said let’s go in the train station basement as it connects to a mall. We found a restaurant finally that looked closed & walked in (cause that's what you do when it looks closed, barge in. At least evil foreigners do).
They sat us down (they didn't seem overly impressed with our presence which is not typical Japanese style). Usually its at least faked. Maybe they had issues with foreigners before. At least it didn't have a sign NO GAIJIN allowed as a few shops did in Kobe. The restaurant was supposed to be Italian
(which probably means, some weird Japan foods added into pasta). It was
fairly pricey, so Colin says lets just order like 4 dishes and mix together and
should be enough for all 6 of us.
Alas, the staff was horrified. There is a saying that the
Chinese eat with their stomachs and the Japanese with their eyes. I guess
mixing random sauces and weird flavours together is against the rules (but being evil we did it anyways. You might say real daredevil's). I don't mean like the Daredevil on Netflix, just so there is no confusion. We didn't wear red leather or do Kung Fu. Though I do have some self nun chuck training I've been learning from Youtube recently. I'm like Bruce Lee's long lost relative but much whiter. There's a link at the end of the post.
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| Mushrooms, spaghetti and strawberry style might be only in Japan and not Italy. |
I didn’t really enjoy the pasta, tasted raw to me. Must have
been “El Dente” (barely cooked), like blue meat (where you just touch the
heat with it for a nano second and it’s done). That’s a guarantee of diarrhoea right
there. If you ever want to eat meat like a dog, this is your chance.
Somehow we had a lot of pasta leftover (perhaps I wasn’t the
only one that didn’t like it). Colin said let’s get it to go. Since we were
paying more than its weight in gold I said good idea (though I didn’t wanna be
the one to take it, unless I recooked it for 1 hour on the stove, even then it wasn't very enticing).
It occurred to me I had never learned the word “take it to
go” in Japanese.
In Japanese he tried,
“Uhh hi, can we have a doggie bag?”
Looks of non-comprehensibility.
“Like you know a dog bag, inu bag”. Inu is dog in Japanese, so we thought that might sort things out. It didn't!
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| Not quite like this, but somewhat similar. |
We couldn’t think of another way to say it. In retrospect, it may have been better to say TAKEOUT or Take away (as the Aussies say).
Colin started gesturing it out.
Using his hands on the plate to act out sweep it away in a
bag and take it. No reaction from the staff. They really did seem to loathe us. Its rare I had that feeling ever in Japan.
I think they thought he was asking them to clean it up. They
grabbed the plates, Colin asked if they are going to throw it out and they said
yes.
I rummaged through my backpack and found an old plastic bag.
I don’t remember what I had in it before, but hopefully not my old smelly
underwear or socks (again).
I handed it to Colin.
He forked all the pasta into the bag and sealed it (the
staff must have been shocked at our savageness). He handed it to me and said "Enjoy your dinner".
Fu$K I thought. "Thanks", I answered.
I threw it in my backpack. I forgot about it and a week
later I found it. I guess there was a hole in the bag or it had become acidic from
ALIENS spit and eaten through the bag. I had pasta sauce all over my bag. Fu$k I
thought. Unlucky for me, one of the pasta’s was seafood so there were clams and
shrimp in the sauce so it was extra “pungent”. Yum yum.
The next time I came to Japan I heard someone order a beef
on rice. He used the words “mochi kaeri de”. Which was like “MOFO I was that shiz
done for takeout yo”. In reality, it meant carry and go home with it. Which is
supposed to be politely said “O-mochi kaeri”.
It seemed in a few short years takeout was now an option.
I did ask a few Japanese friends if that was typical not to have a takeout option. They seemed to think that was pretty "risque".They didn't think anyone would ask a high end restaurant or takeout. I explained it was a crappy Japanese Italian restaurant that served strawberries in their pasta (possibly the seafood one). They didn't seem to see a problem with that, so I let it go.
It seemed in a few short years takeout was now an option.
I did ask a few Japanese friends if that was typical not to have a takeout option. They seemed to think that was pretty "risque".They didn't think anyone would ask a high end restaurant or takeout. I explained it was a crappy Japanese Italian restaurant that served strawberries in their pasta (possibly the seafood one). They didn't seem to see a problem with that, so I let it go.
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| I consider this sacrilegious, but sometimes things are a little different in Japan. |
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My Youtube Channel, wearing red tights and jumping around as Deadpool (but I say Dadpool to avoid copyright. Smarter than I look!)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1NwwCyK_ZPA
Other funny stories from this blog
My blog about everyday life (not Japan related/ and maybe less amusing )
My Youtube Channel (makes no sense just like my blog)
